freemis

Hi Chris, Thank you thank you thank you! Finally someone explained to me why we get the butterflies. Although I'm still very interested about the chemical our body releases, where that feeling actually comes from biologically. Been trying to search on the web, but no luck. No, matter - did my first, second, and third static line jumps yesterday and feel the glow today! Glow, and a slight post traumatic stress syndrome (regarding flashbacks). I am currently in the Czech Republic and so in addition to the regular stress, I decided to give myself another "challenge" of the language barrier. The course was in English, but the ground training was all in Czech (I was luckily with my student and a friend who were able to translate). Yes, the most difficult part was when the door opened. I felt fear like I never felt fear before. What made it more difficult, I think, was because I was the last of my group to go, there was a little tiny part in my brain that knew I had a choice (the public humiliation factor was lessened). I had difficulty putting my foot over the edge of the plane. But once I did, jumping was no problem. The interesting thing is that although I did all three jumps that day, that fear did not diminish. The canopy opened successfully and quickly without at line twists, but I am embarrassed to admit... counting? checking the cutaway and reserve handles? the three ring system? the risers? Oh, I'm afraid the only thing I remembered is to grab the toggles and pump. The there were some glitches with the landing all three times. The most unforgettable jump had been the third (the second one jump did entail my untwisting the lines, but I was in a way, happy to have had that experience to know that it was no big deal after all, and I managed to get everything striaghtened out quickly - the the brain still does work despite the fear :-)) because there was a sunset one one side and the moon on the other, it was so beautiful, but I felt a bit frustrated that even after three jumps, I did not understand how to really fly the canopy or land. The radio also was not working on my third jump. I landed very very far in the middle of a field. While the landing sensation was incredible (because it is so surreal, like in a wild dream, to land from the sky to the middle of a field in the Czech Republic), it was frustrating that I did not do it smoothly or that I could not control the canopy. I felt I was flying further and further away from the airfield and did not know what to do to change the direction. Turning only made me change position, I felt, not the direction. Can you or anyone out there give me some lessons that my instructors did not on smooth landings and controlling the wind? Watching the professionals was amazing, but it made me even more baffled as to how to do it myself!

Thank you. Unfortuantely it looks like another posponed jump again because this weekend the weather is terrible in Prague again. I guess those were my two conerns - the stomach dropping and the line twists. Good luck with your future jumps!

How long ago did you do your jumps? How was your exit? I have this feeling that no matter how much I practice, once I'm up there, it'll all fly out of of my head. Did you remember to do all those checks? did you remember to count? Did your lines get twisted?

Thank you all for your quick replies. I have already enrolled in a static line jump course and was about to jump this past Saturday, but due to weather, the jumps had to be postponed. I definitely feel a lot more comfortable doing SL training first and gradually building my skills. (My added challenge is that I'm doing my SL jumps in the Czech Republic.)

I made two tandem jumps: one was intense beyond anything I could imagine, the other felt manageable (the exit positions were different). I decided to do the static line jump. How much does your stomach drop? I know it may seem trivial in the scheme of things, but it has made an enormous difference in my past two experiences.

Yesterday was my second jump... after a year. And WOW! What a difference in experience! Although I was just as nervous, if not more, jumping this time, I was so much more aware of everything around me. The stomach drop only lasted for a few seconds and was completely manageable. I kept my eyes opened, I remembered to breath. I actually started to believe I can do this solo! Jeth, I can't believe you already got 61 jumps in. Amazing.

Wow, Jeth! I remember just in June when you and I were talking about our first jumps and here you are doing your solo ones!!! I was so glad to read that the second tandem was not as overwhelmong as the first, and you're completely psyched about jumping alone! After I calmed down, I made a resolution to go back, which I plan on doing as soon as finances afford. Having jumped once was only a start - I thought it would be enough, but I know I absolutely, without question, have to go back. Keep us posted on your progress!!! freem

I feared that same moment when I went. But I think I overcame it by trusting my instructor... and not looking down. It's so beautiful when the door opens - just look straight ahead at the clouds. The rest is out of your control.

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One question that keeps lingering after my first jump: does initial position affect how you experience free fall or is it a matter of just being relaxed enough? The first 10 - 20 seconds were extraordinarily intense, and on the video my position was not great(I went with tendem). Later on, my position is fine, but I've also stopped accelerating. Is there a way to minimize that sinking feeling in the beginning?

Sounds awesome! Enjoy. I have a feeling no matter how steep the roller coasters may be, it'll be nothing in comparison...

Oh, and I just ordered The Skydiver's Handbook!

You know, Jeth, I don't know... but it's purely out of financial reasons. I used to be a software engineer, too - and now, I'm a part time teacher/unpublished writer. This may actually spur to me to start looking for a full time job or get me more serious about publishing! Let me know how it goes! It's really exciting to have another person be exactly on the same path, right now.

Thanks, Billy, I like your quote.

Thank you, Jeth, for your reply. It's been almost 3 days now, and same here - I keep thinking about nothing else but that, every chance I'm alone. And I, too, want to do it again, and I, too, want to do it tandem at least a couple of more times to make sure I can be more comfortable during those first 10-20 seconds. The one thing I feel is the difference in my brain right now. I am usually a huge procrastinator while at the same time constantly making lists of things to do. The odd thing - I've been so "present" these last few days. I started making a list of things to do last night, and it didn't feel right. I feel extremely calm and alert and kinf of - whole. But I also feel how different I am with other people because I go back to interacting the way it is acceptable or I'm used to. It feels like a huge divide - the interactions and what I am when alone. It's funny... I also keep wandering if I just have this need to "go back to the scene of the crime." I wonder if we felt as we did in part because we went alone. I can't help but think that in amusement parks, no matter how scary the ride, you get off it and then there are other distractions and you're talking to friends or family. But here, it's so much more serious and then you're driving home alone; you experienced this very intense, if not a little traumatic, thing and you're the only one who had and you don't really get a chance to talk it about. (Thank God for this forum!) What's amazing is that in my video I'm smiling and laughing non-stop. So, did I really feel that traumatized for a couple of seconds in the beginning? My face wasn't showing it. I look calm, happy, elated, confident. Then yesterday I got my stills back and the same - except two, the only proof of those 10-20 seconds of terror. You can hardly make out my expressions because it could be interpreted as a smile, but it was different. And yet, it calling back - no question about it.

From someone who finally bit the bullet two days ago - the one thing I can offer is this: it's hard to predict how you will feel when you are up in the air. I went through a spectrum of terrified to death moments to I'm completely at peace with the universe moments to Hey, not only do I want to jump first but I hope my instructor does even some spins with me. When the door opened I was completely ready to go, but the next forty seconds I felt again a wide spectrum of feelings to the point that I even thought I couldn't breathe when in reality I forgot to breathe - as a human whose breathing is supposed to be an autonomic function. I truly thought it was an inforgettable day, but the one thing I didn't expect was to forget in the beginning some things my instructor told me - as simple as arching your back and keeping your head up. Everything is happening so fast and so intensely and it's nothing - nothing- like I've ever felt before that when the canopy opened, my first thought was I can't imagine doing this on my own. And again, that doesn't mean I won't eventually do it on my own, but for the first time taking such a risk and never having experienced it, I couldn't have been more thankful for my instructor taking care of everything. I couldn't have imagined having to check the altimeter and worry about my position and steer and land. It's an accomplishment for just having gone.

I know exactly how you feel about your instructor! I went for the first time jumping yesterday, and I was also struck by the unbelievable portectiveness and care I was given by him.

Thanks, Michele. Your writing is just amazing.

Michele, thank you. That's absolutely true - you just are, and I think that's what I have been today, especially at work (I teach, so half the time I am strategizing and responding and trying to control the situations). I think what you said makes so much sense. You become who you are and the core of us is probably a lot quieter and more at peace than we realize it because we're so used to the "ground life." When you put it as you did, it made sense. Question: Does the fear that accompanies acceleration lesson with each jump? My first thought when the shute opened was I could never imagine being able to do this solo.

Hi to whoever's out there... It didn't occur to me yesterday evening to search for a forum and talk to people who've actually done this, but now that I've found you, I hope you can give me some insight. I always viewed skydiving as something courageous (or at least a type of courage), and having had the shame of fear instilled in me at an early age, I wanted to belong to the category of people who were able to do what most couldn't - or wouldn't. A couple of years ago, I tried to organize a group of people to go, but for various reasons (availability, fear, cost, fear) the group never coalesced, and this plan fell by the wayside. A couple of weeks ago I saw a short film on skydiving, and I went home and thought to myself that if I was serious, that if I truly wanted this and wasn't just all talk and wasn't just wanting the idea of it, then I had to do. I made the call myself. I told no one I was going, and I was going alone, on my time and on my choice . The morning of, I was queasy, to say the least. I ate a breakfast that I was convinced would soon be thrown up and temporarily questioned if I really needed to do this. The answer was yes, though, without at doubt. Not because the of the non-refundable $75, but because of the non-refundable dignity. So, I got there - DZ in RI, but after the paperwork and the film, I wound up waiting for literarly 3 hours because someone was shooting a pilot for a show. It was ample time to get week in the legs. The fact that everyone was so reassuring was actually not reassuring. It was overwhelming. I wasn't worried about safety. The people there had tremendous experience and my tendem instructor was amazing (over 20 years of experience, as well as that of having been a stuntman in 3 movies - calm, kind, and incredibly skilled). I only feared my stomach dropping and - this, especially this - that when the door opened, I would freeze and wouldn't be able to do it. Everyone who came down confirmed that the door opening was the hardest moment. As I waited, another person came in, who'd jump at the same time - he already went 4 times. He kept saying I would drive home feeling proud of myself. I guess the entire day everyone told me what I would and wouldn't feel. Finally, when it was my turn to get ready, the fear took a backseat. As soon as I was no longer a spectator, the nerves turned into excitement. Everyone was friendly, joking, kind. The ride up was a mixture of moment of sporadic jolts of fear mingled with increasing - and suprising - sense of complete peace. I always felt peace in an airplane. The man who was jumping at the same time asked if I wanted him to go first, but I said no. I wanted to take the reins by taking the lead. So, then the door opened and the videographer climbed out. And the amazing thing is that I didn't have an ounce of fear at that point. I felt complete surrender. I trusted my instructor, and I guess, I trusted the universe. But as soon as we fell out, there was tremndous acceleration to the point that I gasped and then forgot to breathe out. I think I screamed, although I can't be sure because I remember so little of this now, but when I got down my throat was hoarse so I think I did. Everything I was told I forgot to do - my instructor needed to take me by the arms to pull them out and he held my hands and held to the videographer's foot, as well. There were moment I felt I was dying, that we were hurtling out of control before we began to float. And I was running out of air, not realizing I could breathe if I wanted to. I kept thinking the shute would open already so I could breathe. And then when it opened - and the jerk back, unlike what others said, was pretty minimal, I was fine. The kind of amazing thing is that I think my instructor must have known I was shell shocked, because the first thing he said - which is the first thing anyone said all day that was not "it's going to be incredible" - was that this was a shock to the senses. For that I was so grateful. The rest of the ride was fine. I landed and the camera was there, and I must have had an instinct to smile and say everthing was great. The typical response to "how are you." On the way back, I don't know if it was the chemicals, but no one seemed as friendly. They were all matter of fact. When I came back into the office, again, I felt like I had no choice to say it was good, even though I was reeling. I felt like people were asking me "How do you like my child?" And what can you answer? I drove home - an hour ride that felt like 10 minutes. I think my sense of time must have changed. All I kept thinking was how alone I felt. What was wrong with me for not feeling thrilled. I did feel a difference in my body, but it's not what everyone described it to me. I tried to talk about it to a couple of people, but they too expected a certain story. Only the funny thing, when they asked me if I'd do it again - my only answer each and everytime and immediately was yes. Only I don't understand why I feel really, really shocked. On my way out, the instructors realized I came alone - most of them assumed I came with the man who jumped with me - and commended me (I'm female and look much younger than my age). But the odd thing is that I don't feel courageous. I don't feel it at all. I don't have any regrets. I just feel shocked, and separate, and very inward. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I had to work this morning and I felt my attitude toward others was different - like there was this core of me that I had that I didn't need to spend. Please, someone out there tell me I'm not really screwed up because no one has told me that this is what it could feel like. I have literally been crying almost non-stop.