cansado12

Get some old lunch meat and wrap it around a thick Hershey Bar. That should shut him up for a while. But if you are kind and gentle, just toilet paper the neighbor's house. The dew in the morning will make it just right :) If you want more ideas, let me know. I'm here to help!

It's these new x-ray glasses I bought. I guess they really work after all. Wait a minute while I go to the mall :) No, that's all the questions I have right now. But I guess I'll see you at CK sometime pretty soon. Plus, I might be moving to Florida next year too. For a job...not because I'm following you :o)

Nice tat, Stac. So tell me, is that a thong you're wearing???

I just flew from Philly to Pittsburgh this past weekend. I had all my gear in a small suitcase that I checked. I carried on my gear bag containing my rig. The security people didn't give it a second look. I really don't think you'll have a problem flying with your rig as a carry-on. As for packing the rest of your stuff, the other guys had some good ideas.

-women can always lose virginity, but never lose box it came in. -oral sex make one's day, anal sex make one's hole weak.

Yeah, Pammi. I hate her too. But not because of the tattoo:) Just kidding Stac. How's FL (Damn you!)

Jim, I agree with the drogue comment. You call like a f---kn meteor. But I can keep up now!!!! Anyway Stac, I was thinking more along the lines of a G-11. You know, the cargo chutes that they strap to Hummers and trucks to drop from a C-17. That would be more Jimbo's speed. How's FL?

Wow Jim, I guess no one likes your idea of humor. I can't figure out why!?! Can you patch on that other thing I sent you? You might get more hits (in more ways than one). Ha!!!

Jim, this funny looks strikingly familiar. Where oh where did you find this little tidbit of comic genius??

Damn, that airliner came close!!!!

Jim, go into your basement and find this thing called a, uh, HAMMER and commence to beating the hell out of that computer. This will do 2 things: 1)make the music stop and 2)you'll feel alot better...until you figured out just how expensive this form of therapy gets. You gonna be at CK tomorrow?

Dude, get the Hornet. I have one with a little over 100 jumps on it. The thing flies great!!! Plus, you can always jump with someone else with a camera and then YOU'LL be the one in the pictures. Buy the canopy, man! You can't go wrong.

Speaking of Boobies, did you see the part where Joan got spit and flew her boob very accurately into Chuckie's hand??? All the guys at Raeford did!!!

No Monkeylady, unless you find something to do during the day before you go to work, you're stuck. I heard making cream cheese balls wrapped in coconut passes the time!!!! Blue Skies

Hey guys, Saturday March 16, in the filthy, I mean fantastic city of Philly the Erin Express is coming. If you don't know what that is, it's a big drunk bus that takes you from bar to bar downtown. Here are some details... Buses run from noon until 5:30 The stops include: Cavanaugh's - 39th and Sansom Westy's - 1440 Callowhill Callahan's - 26th and South Kelliann's - 16th and Spring Garden Kelliann's -44th and Spruce T.A. Flannery's -21st and Ludlow Bonner's Irish Pub - 23rd and Sansom Green Room - 20th and Green O'hara's Fish House -39th and Chestnut ...And many more. Look, I know this is a Saturday and I'll be jumping. But in case of bad weather (i.e. cold, windy, freak hurricane) I'll be trying my best to kill my liver and need some friends to help and kill theirs too. Talk to Liz at manifest. I'll give her all the details tomorrow.

Story #2 -- Pittsburgh Road Trip It was getting late in the year with unseasonably warm weather. So what better way to spend my "not so hard-earned" money than jumping. Chris would always be out there because he had the kind of job that paid extremely well even though he sometimes worked 4 hours a week. And he never hesitated to brag about that fact!! Anyway, we're sitting in the hangar and he talked me into going to Puerto Rico in February (not that it took much work). Then we started talking about plans for Christmas. It turned out that we were both going back to Pittsburgh for Christmas. Then the discussion turned to how cold it is in Pittsburgh this time of year. And I let out the "I have a good friend that lives on the DZ at Z-hills. Let's road trip!" He was all for it. He decided to drive because there was no way that guy would fit in my Integra for a 10+ hour trip. So off we went. I was kind of short on cash and was doing things the college way (as cheap as possible). He helped tons. "Don't worry about gas and tolls. My company will pay for it." He didn't have to tell me twice. So we get to Pittsburgh after a long and boring drive on the turnpike and spent the holidays with our families. Christmas Day, my good friend Kathy and I always go to try and kill our livers at my sister's house and play with my neices and nephew. I invited Chris to come over and we'd start the Florida road trip the next morning. So he comes over and brings the video camera and all his tapes (did he ever go anywhere without that thing???) and thought it would be cool to show my mom his base jumping video. Yeah, I'd bet my paycheck that you guys have seen it too:) My mom thought he was a nice kid, but he was nuts. Once the older adults left, the beer began to flow. Chris and I both put down a case of Yuengling that night. In the meantime, my nephew (9 years old) was hanging out with us and was trying to show off for his babysitter by trying to wrestle Chris. OK, picture this, a 6 ft 4 in guy wrestling with a 4ft 5 in 9 year old. Well, true to form, Chris put little Anthony down. The poor kid was all embarrassed and started crying. So Chris just opened another beer and said sorry as Anthony ran out the room. Yeah, nice guy. So 4 am rolls around and we still didn't sleep yet. I told him to take a nap while I drove Kathy home and that I'd be back in a half hour. As soon as I came back we hopped in the BMW and headed south. Chris was still all messed up and I had a good buzz going. We made it about 60 miles before we needed nappies. Most of the trip was uneventful until we got to Charlotte. We get a call from Fruce. "Hey guys, don't go to Z-hills. Go to Sebastian." It took all of 3 seconds to say "OK" and our plans changed. Needless to say, my friend was pissed because she thought we died on the way down because we never showed up. So I blamed that one on young Wittgartner. Keep in mind that throughout this whole trip, he only had 7 cds to listen to. And most of them sucked. But it was amazing that 2 guys could talk so much and never repeat a story. Note to self...don't talk so much. Some of the things he told me had me laughing so hard that my stomach hurt. Conversations ranged everywhere from high school baseball accomplishments, to college baseball coaches, to military weapons, etc... oh, I can't leave out BASE jumping. It made the trip go very fast. The next story will be about Sebastian. Don't worry, they get better.

Ok, now that I've stopped running around, I'm going to try to knock some of these stories out for yunz guys (yeah, Pittsburgh rocks!!!). Speaking of which, the first time I met Witt, I was roaming around the hangar (like I always do) looking for people to talk to. Then I see this super big tall guy by the tv wearing a Pirates hat. I figured he was from Pittsburgh because no one in their right mind would wear a Pirate's hat. I went up and we started talking and found out that we grew up about 20 minutes and 4 years away from each other. Then the stories about high school baseball and Primanti's started flowing. He would take time out to jump with me whenever he stopped sweet-talking all the girls. After that, it was Chris and me on every load together (or that's the way it looks in my log book). ...2 way freefly with Chris. Tried to dock and kicked him in the eye. We had alot of great video moments from the dz, back in Pittsburgh at my sister's house, Florida, and Puerto Rico. I cannot believe I actually let that guy talk me into going base jumping later this year!!! And I felt it was my newfound duty to keep up with him while drinking. He held it better than I, but I put up a good race. Chris, buddy, I'm gonna miss all the road trips in your Beemer and I still can't get that damn Gorillaz song out of my head after you played it almost the entire 15 hour drive to Florida this Christmas. You were a good friend and left alot of sad, broken hearted ladies behind. Cookie is going to be crushed when she finds out what happened. But she'll probably dedicate a page to you in that blue fuzzy log book she has. More stories of Chris "I love to have a good time" Wittgartner to come...