my_dog_steve

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Everything posted by my_dog_steve

  1. Professional letter writer and grammar fixer....
  2. my_dog_steve

    Tattoo's

    A couple, both freehanded by the same guy. It's been a while, but it seems like he gave me some stuff to put on it and told me not to use anything petroleum based... Addictive as hell, aren't they?
  3. Milwaukee's Best Light Your taste is so delightful I pee out my butt
  4. they've been a little too rubbery lately....
  5. I think she was such a fruitcake that she really thought we'd all just have a nice dinner, swill a few beverages, and part ways amicably. My opinion...she wasn't being cruel...she was just fucking crazy.
  6. He dumped her pretty quick when he figured out what a freakin' psycho she was...and she's since put on about 75 lbs of ass and about 10 years of wear and tear. She's now a worn out, dumpy, workaholic....that's my revenge.
  7. My ex, or she is now anyway, invited me to dinner to meet guy she'd been screwing. Said she just couldn't keep it inside any longer.. no pun intended.
  8. Well, it's not so much a co-worker as a neighbor. She lives in the condo next to mine. First, she's just nasty. I mean, absolutely no hygene happening here. I pass her on the way to my mailbox occasionally...she's always wearing the same flowered muumuu, reeking of smoke, garlic, sweat and something like a really nasty litter box. Did I mention she's a large girl? Anyway, she's got this junkie looking boyfriend...pale, skinny...she's like 3 or 4 of him...anyway, they go at it like rabbits...constantly. It's disgusting. I can hear her hacking and coughing between the moans and groans. I can't keep the pictures on my wall straight. Just thinking about the smell... Sure, it could just be jealousy. I mean, at least she's getting laid...
  9. Named my kids Bleu and Ruthie. They're still too young to hate me....
  10. A pirate walks into a bar with this enormous steering wheel stuck down his pants. The bartender can’t help but ask, “What’s with the steering wheel?” “ARRRRGGH,” the pirate answers, “it’s drivin’ me nuts.”
  11. or.."if I wanted any of your lip, I'd scratch it off my zipper..."
  12. "Save your breath. You'll need it to inflate your date."
  13. I'm pretty sick of the "Bam," and "kick it up a notch" Emeril-ese crap. Perhaps if they'd kicked up the writing a notch, his crappy tv show wouldn't have gone down the toilet after a couple of episodes. Bam.