my_dog_steve
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Everything posted by my_dog_steve
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Professional letter writer and grammar fixer....
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hello?
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carbon
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scratchy
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Dude!...
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nap...
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Jigsaw
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Atlanta...
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squeezed...
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A couple, both freehanded by the same guy. It's been a while, but it seems like he gave me some stuff to put on it and told me not to use anything petroleum based... Addictive as hell, aren't they?
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JEEBUSS!!!...
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Milwaukee's Best Light Your taste is so delightful I pee out my butt
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they've been a little too rubbery lately....
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I think she was such a fruitcake that she really thought we'd all just have a nice dinner, swill a few beverages, and part ways amicably. My opinion...she wasn't being cruel...she was just fucking crazy.
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64%...
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He dumped her pretty quick when he figured out what a freakin' psycho she was...and she's since put on about 75 lbs of ass and about 10 years of wear and tear. She's now a worn out, dumpy, workaholic....that's my revenge.
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It stung a little...
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My ex, or she is now anyway, invited me to dinner to meet guy she'd been screwing. Said she just couldn't keep it inside any longer.. no pun intended.
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Well, it's not so much a co-worker as a neighbor. She lives in the condo next to mine. First, she's just nasty. I mean, absolutely no hygene happening here. I pass her on the way to my mailbox occasionally...she's always wearing the same flowered muumuu, reeking of smoke, garlic, sweat and something like a really nasty litter box. Did I mention she's a large girl? Anyway, she's got this junkie looking boyfriend...pale, skinny...she's like 3 or 4 of him...anyway, they go at it like rabbits...constantly. It's disgusting. I can hear her hacking and coughing between the moans and groans. I can't keep the pictures on my wall straight. Just thinking about the smell... Sure, it could just be jealousy. I mean, at least she's getting laid...
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Named my kids Bleu and Ruthie. They're still too young to hate me....
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A pirate walks into a bar with this enormous steering wheel stuck down his pants. The bartender can’t help but ask, “What’s with the steering wheel?” “ARRRRGGH,” the pirate answers, “it’s drivin’ me nuts.”
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or.."if I wanted any of your lip, I'd scratch it off my zipper..."
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"Save your breath. You'll need it to inflate your date."
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I'm pretty sick of the "Bam," and "kick it up a notch" Emeril-ese crap. Perhaps if they'd kicked up the writing a notch, his crappy tv show wouldn't have gone down the toilet after a couple of episodes. Bam.