lurch

Where's Monkey, lets stack shit on his head. I need a shave, anybody got a light? Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

April, 2000. Solo trip. Coast to coast in 4 days, 3,300 miles and change. Sacramento to Nashua, New Hampshire in a disintegrating '83 AMC Eagle with no speedometer, missing rear glass covered in plastic and tape, and a broken rear shock. Rough trip. I got no more than 4 hours sleep till halfway across Pennsylvania. The rear diff leaked dry, I figured out what the squeaking sound was 700 miles out of Cali in the middle of Nowhere, Wyoming. Fortunately I had some gear oil aboard and I refilled it in time to prevent the gears coming apart but I never trusted that axle again. Later near Des Moines the rear main seal let go on the engine, started making enormous cloud of oilsmoke every time I slowed down, lost about a quart every 50 miles, mostly onto the exhaust system. To avoid becoming an interstate fireball I pulled the check valve and sealed the crankcase breather, thus causing the intake to put the whole inside of the engine under significant vacuum, slurping air in through the oil leak and stopping the oil loss. Then continued the drive. Finally somewhere in Illinois I lost the headlights due to old age short circuit and made the remainder of the trip on parking lights and the offroad lights I had all over the thing. Now THATS traveling. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

I got that once about 7 years ago. Nearly solid cloudbase below, went to the horizon in all directions. Navigation was easy, was bright sun above. In an old Birdman GTI with black leading edges, the freezeover was dramatically visible and looked like time lapse photography for ten seconds till my goggles and camera froze over too. Coming out the bottom thinking "Hmmm, flying blind, here, not good..." the air was bathtub warm and everything melted off in seconds. Cloud was so dark that below it the street lights had come on already and all the cars had headlights on. One of my more memorable jumps. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Eat a queer fetus for Jesus? Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

I'll let you know in a bit, I'm not really breathing right about now, been laughing too hard. And sneezing. Theres just way too much sparkles in this thread for my health. I run on the kind of 100% concentrated rage that makes Honey Badger just totally not give a shit. Rage and sparkles just do NOT work. Its like putting a Cannibal Corpse album into a Teddy Ruxpin and tossing him into the nearest mosh pit. It just can't end well. Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Wow. That was pretty fucked up. I seriously can't believe I just saw that. I think, I'm gonna go shove my head up my ass and sneeze. Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

I have no problem with Justin's products, he offers a fine selection of dining delights, I'm just allergic to sparkles. I don't fly well with anaphylactic shock, really... face balloons out of my helmet, my booties don't fit right, you know how it goes... Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Thanks, Justin. I'd been planning a breakfast of spam and eggs until you showed up. Maybe I'll just have a donut... Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Uh, Omnia, I gotta roll with the canvas myself actually, it beats paper in 4D because it has less drag. Personally I make my unicorns out of fiber composite diamond plate, but I strongly advise against flying homemade unicorns without a lot of experience in smaller factory stock ones, under supervision of an instructor. Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Wheres the vote for "Looks like 9/11 and I like it"? Soon as I saw the image in the video I said "Holy Shit" and busted up laughing... It looks like a middle schoolers' rendition of 9/11 done in LEGOs. There is no WAY the designers did not catch its resemblance to some of the most famous images in human history. Its got to be one of the most awesome examples of tackiness and bad taste I've ever SEEN! It will inevitably be known as the "911 building" and it is going to cause an amazing amount of outrage. I hope they build it. When Life Imitates Art... you watch. They build it, somebody'll blow it up. Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Actually Spot, according to Billvon you ARE meekly submitting. Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Absolutely. I think your breakdown is quite accurate although in real life we see people defy their category all the time since individual skill and performance outweigh the particular advantages for each. Where it really shows is when both suit and pilot are as finely tuned as possible...ex: Helmut. Helmut is built -exactly- like me... same height and weight, vastly superior suit and skills. The man clearly possesses some ninja tricks I do not. At the bleeding edge of performance the only way I'm ever going to meet or beat his record will be to create the same conditions he used and do it with even MORE skill. A tall order. "Couldn't this be minimized..." Spot just did that. And although I think his ruleset was not as favorable to my preferred style as Gransee was, (not a complaint: I have no actual complaints at ALL, it was a BLAST!) the comp was immensely valuable in both rip-roaring fun AND another incredibly useful learning experience. I got to compare the results and conditions and really SEE how the changes to the initial conditions play out in real life competition. I thought about what the missing 2000 feet was going to do to the available energy conditions at the gate, and I knew no new records were going to be set this time. It was kind of like restrictor plate NASCAR. Most of the missing energy is gained in the second 1000-foot interval. Whatever the angle of the dive, I've typically hit terminal or close to it by 11k, using the remaining 1k at Gransee to fine tune/try for a bit more speed/initiate the planeout. At Elsinore in all cases I was still accelerating when I hit the gates (or pre-gate period, rather) and had to start planing out, and continued accelerating during the comp window, had to make judgement call when to taper off the dive and hope I'd maximized what room I had. In that regard Elsinore was more technically challenging than Gransee was since I didn't have the luxury of spending the last 500 feet screwing around fine tuning for even less drag. I wasn't going to be at anything like my best performance possible, just best possible *under limited conditions*. Gransee captured just the attack. Elsinore captured half the windup AND the attack. I had to alter strategy considerably to account for this fact, accept the limits on ultimate performance and work on taking best advantage of the energy I COULD get, abbreviating the windup so my captured runs wouldn't be half-dive. This ended up working to my advantage in Speed of all places because there WAS no planeout, just a very steep then not-so-steep attack to translate dive speed into ground speed. Errors in exact timing and efficiency of wing didn't cost as much or matter as much as they did with Distance. It still cut my top ground speed by 30KPH but in the end Elsinore's conditions weren't as DISadvantaeous as I'd expected. I still want to see more unlimited comps and time comps, but this style does work well on its own. I think more comps, with more variations on the rules will continue to develop a more detailed picture for all of us and in time a universal standard will evolve. For now, variety is our asset and experimentation the rule. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Hey Doc... get this: and I might try it myself just to see. At Elsinore I picked up a little rumor about the #2 and #1 freefall time rankholders. Helmut and Toby. Rumor is, they both got their results by wearing weights. I gave it some thought and realized its plausible, whether it works well in practice I'll have to find out, but makes sense. I set my own best record at #3 just by the usual dive and planeout. Timed right and carefully metering out the speed so as not to just burn it in one big wingpush, that planeout got a sustained 25 mph for 76 seconds and I ran out of excess speed right at the end. Couldn't have held that 25 for any longer. My default unboosted fallrate is more like 28, 29. But if I'd worn weights and arrived at the gates going abnormally fast, the load on my arms would be insane but I think I might just be able to stay up LONGER. If that rumor is right, Helmut's a genius. He used weights as a kinetic battery pack. No wonder they banned em. It would have started a really weird arms race and the only way to be competitive... wait a minute, aren't we already dancing to this tune? -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Meh, definitely not a set of rules I prefer, but what the hell, didn't stop me gettin' in the ring now and sluggin' it out with the rest of em, did it?

Taking a break at work, thinking of the next productive thing to do, and being glad I don't believe in any of that shit. Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Choose your battles. Blanket refusal means not to fly. And they own the game board. They -wanted- me to submit to being intimately x-rayed under threat of a search intended to humiliate the subject into compliance. I called em on it by my actions. And, nice spin by the way. Nothing "meek" in my actions. That was the point. Meek would be acting cowed by the whole thing. I suspect they keep a list of all opt-outs, logged as "uncooperative subjects". If I have to be on a list I'll take that one. Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Why? Backbone, thats why. Defiance. And I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. The entire purpose of the charade is to acclimate americans to submission and obedience and the idea that their so-called "inalienable rights" don't apply "whenever we feel like it". The TSA has openly admitted that the purpose of the "enhanced" patdown is to "encourage compliance" with the scanners. In other words, to coerce compliance by discomfort, intimidation and humiliation. Which they do to people with great enthusiasm. None of which does jack shit. Anyone with the slightest degree of intelligence and creativity could get a double dozen bladed or striking weapons past these guys in one shot. It is not possible to disarm an intelligent human being. The entire thing is a bad joke... after that security check I stopped by a bookstore where they sold me juice in a thickwalled glass bottle. Instant bloody barfight to any and all who might think of it. Aside from the ease of getting weapons aboard, they provide plenty for purchase at the gate. I felt quite secure knowing they had willingly legally and openly sold me the "weapon" with which to defend myself should any actual terrorists make it onboard. If any terrorists want to make a point, they could assemble a team of say, 6 or 7 guys, shave businesssuit and Westernize them, get em all on the same flight and have em buy juice before boarding. Given a helpless planeful of fat apathetic americans, half a dozen guys with broken bottles could theoretically slaughter everyone on board by landing. The only way to resist the kind of stupid totalitarianism the TSA's policies represent is to actually RESIST. Decline to cooperate. So When I finally encountered the dread pornoscanner for the first time, as I put my bags on the belt I had a deep moment of introspection where I asked myself if I was gonna be a sheep, submit, obey and go-along-to-get-along or was I gonna back up my attitude and take a stand? "Opt Out." I said. I noticed the body language of the other opt-outs nearby. Hunched shoulders, scared, timid. I looked my TSA guys in the eyes and stood up straight, acted like I owned the place, carried myself like I was untouchable and nothing they could do was gonna bother me. The parachute and wingsuit especially fascinated them and backed up my attitude. They kept the search quick and professional. No actual crotch grab, no jamming hands into my pants, no bullshit at all. They were quite polite, as was I. In return I gave them no hassle at all either. I got a growing theory that the people having trouble with the TSA get it because they expect it and/or provoke it. I cop an attitude like freaking at the checkpoint is beneath me and they haven't seriously hassled me yet. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Recently opted out of pornoscanner. Search was actually no more personal than others have been over time. Now, although I despise the subhumans with the TSA I actually got an ok one that seemed to be more or less still human. Reassembling my kit when cleared, I hear some distinguished looking southern gent suddenly bark, loudly. He was pissed off at possible glasses breakage, began ranting. I watched, half expecting a swat team takedown. They handled him fairly coolly actually, came over talked to him instead of going robotic authoritarian and acting threatening. "My" TSA guy starts to walk off, gent is still grumbling, sometimes loudly. My guy turns around "What was that?" "I'm LOOKING for my BELT!" "The one you're wearing?" (zing!) Look on the guy's face was priceless. Score one for the TSA guys! Normally I'm not a fan of theirs but I hadda admit that was well played. I walked away laughing... -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

I've been tempted to but you know what stops me? Complaining is a great way to get even MORE attention. Personalized attention. I live in this town and I do NOT wanna piss them off. I just wanna be left alone and the last thing I need is the local cops to have a grudge cause I called foul on their favorite late night game. They might want to play the game a whole lot MORE, after I make a stink about it... So far, they've been letting me win...not ticketed yet. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Well, I try not to take it personal, they do this to everybody, I'm just a regular on that road late at night so I get it over and over again. But I get REAL sick of that perpetual sense of "You are being watched by people waiting to pounce at the slightest excuse" and on THAT road, that sensation is intense, and very accurate. I will admit to a certain vicious sense of satisfaction seeing one of them get eaten by their own by the same surveillance they keep US under. Mister Sheriff Of The Year probably spent a lot of time watching and waiting, probably bagged a lot of people who didn't deserve it, and has now been undone by the same when he did deserve it. Thats gotta sting a bit. Edit to add: Nightingale might be right though, sheriffs behavior might be dementia talking. I might be gloating at the misfortune of a sick man and thats dishonorable. Give the poor schmuck the benefit of the doubt. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

If he were THAT impatient, he would have just taken the empty highway he had available in front of me. I was the only car in sight, visible LONG before I got there yet he waited more than 30 extra seconds at the turn for me to arrive and pass him before he pulled out behind me. He had over 1000 yards of totally clear empty highway to pull on to at any time but he chose to wait till I got there. I'd backed off the gas to give him even MORE time to make his turn at leisure but he didn't take it, just waited. No, it was quite deliberate targeting. Pick the first car you see, and bust it. I know that stretch of highway and its a VERY well known local speed trap. Plus, since this is my route home from work every night, this is FAR from the first time I've been selected for this. More like the 18th, maybe 20th. In a year. Twice during these games, they DID pull me over anyway on fishing expedition. When asked why, because I hadn't been speeding, I was told "But you looked like you would have been when you hit the 35 zone if I hadn't been behind you." I told him openly at the time that I knew this road well since its my route to work, I know they watch it and I never roll that intersection faster than 36. He let me go untouched. But they still like to play the game. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

I wonder how many of these it will take before all those cops so eagerly backing the all-seeing all-watching all-monitoring police state realize that it means "Yes, you, too, are in the cage and being watched, along with the rest of us." I got another taste last night on my way home from work. Saw a cop about to pull out onto dark empty road 300 yards ahead. Slowed down to let him pull in front of me. But no, he waited for me to arrive and pass. Then pulled out behind me, aggressively ran up onto my back bumper and rode my ass from 4 feet away into a reduced speed zone like he was trying to intimidate me into speeding up so he could bust me. "Oh, you wanna play bully, do you?" I declined to play and proceeded to crawl across town at precisely 33 mph refusing to give the slightest excuse. Cop got frustrated apparently because he then proceeded to play that game, following me at extreme close range all the way across town. Eventually gave up and broke off when I continued driving in such a way as to send the message "I made you before you even saw me and I'm not going to give you the satisfaction so give it up." I wonder how many people they intimidate into ticketable speeds that way? I feel SOOOO secure... -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

It ain't weakness, christian man. Its respect. Personally I'd love having a grouse in my neighborhood just so I could enjoy having some cool bird kickin' around. Why kill and eat it if you don't have to? If you're a hunter/tracker then its not like you don't already know how. I say leave the bird alone and appreciate its presence. If its thriving now it probably ain't gonna starve over winter. Hell, if it was "my" bird I might even help it out a bit over winter (small amounts of food left unobtrusively in its area...don't wanna tame it) just because I liked it and wanted it to survive. I'm sure some would have a problem with that, but I figure, life is life so why not help it out on occasion? And yes, I rescue spiders and stuff. Also small birds and any other life forms I find in trouble. If civilization falls, yes, everythings on the menu. But not until. Most wild life forms I meet are better people than most people are. Given a choice between the company of a grouse and the company of some of my family members, I'd choose the grouse. MUCH less drama. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

One pancake bunny, coming up. http://humour.200ok.com.au/img/pancake_bunny.jpg And, I decided its not really over till Dreamdancer puts up a bunch of links angry about people with money, JohnRich picking on the brits for being disarmed and generally sounding the alarm about gun rights, Cristelsabine acting all condescending because we stubbornly refuse to disarm, A couple religious folks making bizarre assertions about what they think the infinite wants us to do, Billvon saying something sensible, Doc K making pedantically literal yet aggravatingly badgering arguments of internally logical consistency that make whatever part of the forum he's arguing with want to smack him for enthusiastically excessive deployment of acerbic british wit, And somebody to blame it all on racist white europeans. Or liberals. Got any Popcorn left Amazon? I'm out. -B Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

Nah. Ain't complete till Amazon shows up and starts angrily raving about RePUBIclowns BWAHAHA and how they're to blame for pancakes, the extinction of Murcheson's Lesser Marmoset, the recent outbreak of autistic ninja children who can't see plaid, and the destruction of New York by angry radioactive japanese lizard. *produces bag of popcorn* I'll wait. Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.