miked10270

Penis! That's five-nil to me! Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

You expect people to volunteer for that? Why not. I like Elba

You expect people to volunteer for that? Why not. I like Elba

http://newsbiscuit.com/article/rare-american-chimp-close-to-extinction-412 Environmentalists in the United States were furious last night that the White House was doing so little to protect endangered species around the world. The exasperated animal campaigners met with President George Bush and told him of their fears for the rare Texan chimp that may disappear completely by next January. ‘Them folks kept talking about this very rare ape, an incredibly close relative to you and me’ the President recalled. ‘They didn’t seem that upset about it because they seemed to keep laughing.’ The President was informed that the so called ‘Bush chimp’ is very stupid and simple, but can do a lot of damage if allowed to do whatever it wants. ‘They said he was going to extinctivized,’ explained the outgoing President. ‘And then they started laughing some more.’ The ‘Texan Bush chimp’ was apparently once seen all over the United States, but has recently been increasingly reclusive. Now it is holed up in one closely guarded East Coast location, although it is not expected to survive far into next year. ‘It’s now officially endangerous’ explained the President. During his briefing on species at risk, a concerned but puzzled looking President Bush was also told about the ‘mules’ giving the ‘elephants’ a really good kicking. ‘But my main concern is that there’s also this thing called a ‘lame duck; the lamest of lame-ducks’ they told me, which everyone can’t wait to see the back of. Poor thing, I’d hate to be that little guy!’ Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Shouldn't Dubya get a pardon?... At least for his table manners. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

I'm certainly NOT You beat me to it mate... Having read the previous posts, I'm also proud to be NOT American. After the Yanks finally cut loose and finish shooting each other we can re-colonise... With the new Anglo-Australian Border somewhere around Denver. The New-Zzzz...ealanders can have Florida and the Welsh get Alaska. Just a thought... Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

I can see them producing some deformed ivory producing factory creature in the near future. Yes. They could call the creature some amalgamation of "Mammoth" & "Ivory"... Something like: "Mammory"? Mike. PS: I'll let Y'all make your own jokes on this feed=line. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

I'm guessing that they'll taste like Elephant.

Obama comes out as French. Just hours after Americans elected their first ever black President, Barack Obama has dropped a political bombshell by announcing that he is in fact French. The revelation has sent shock-waves through Washington, with Republicans furious with themselves for having failed to spot the one major flaw in their opponent’s apparently impenetrable political armour. ‘I can’t believe we missed it’ wailed a distraught John McCain. ‘This would have won it for us for sure.’ Despite constant attention being focused by Republicans on his father’s allegedly Islamic roots, on the fact that his surname sounded like ‘Osama’ and his middle name was ‘Hussein’, no-one had picked up on the fact that ‘Barac’ is a popular French name, and a clue to the fact that Obama was actually born in Marseilles, and smells strongly of garlic. ‘We actually had this photo of him wearing a stripy jumper and a beret, with a string of onions around his neck,’ admitted a McCain campaigner. ‘But we put all our efforts in trying to identify the guy next to him in case he was a terrorist.’ The effects of the revelation are expected to be widespread, with the new president already announcing that cheeseburgers are only to contain high quality French cheeses such as Brie or Camembert and the Surgeon General recommending that pregnant women drink a couple of glasses of red wine every day. The Washington monument has been replaced by a replica of the Eiffel Tower and Hollywood is to stop making action thrillers and rom-coms, switching to slower placed, more thoughtful French language films about the internal anguish of a bereaved poet with writer’s block. Baseball, NFL football and ice hockey will also make way for cycling, rugby and boules. Political reporters demanding to know when these changes might be put into effect were not able to find anyone to answer their questions, as all of Washington was closed for lunch between 12 and 2.30. American voters have reacted badly to the news. ‘I thought a black president would be the end of the world’ said one Alabama resident, ‘but French! That’s even worse!’ ‘Eurgh – just taste this French style bacon – they have forgotten to flavour it with cinnamon and vanilla!.. It tastes of... BACON!’ Thousands of US residents have been spotted making their way towards the border, where the Mexicans have had to increase their patrols. The Republicans have already started campaigning for the 2012 election with the slogan ‘Obama – Non!’ Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

The British Armed Forces never had "Don't Ask - Don't Tell". They moved straight on to "Don't-Give-A-Flying-Fuck". If the average British Squaddies have the intelligence & tolerance to achieve this, then surely their American equivalent is also... Err... OK... Maybe a weak argument... Sorry. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

...as well as the letter R And then what the hell are we supposed to do come Talk Like A Pirate Day!!? Think before you post. Please. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Like this: Britain's Ministry of Defense revealed that a small vessel, suspected of being involved in an attempted hijacking of a Danish cargo ship, was intercepted in the Gulf of Aden. Crews launched from the HMS Cumberland exchanged fire with the boat...Somali pirates, were shot and killed in self-defense"...http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,451311,00.html Yes. This was part of a joint NATO-Russian maritime patrol to suppress piracy. Here's some background if you're interested: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7650415.stm http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7623329.stm http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7358764.stm In all, it's a nice little earner where ideally no-one gets harmed. Mike. Edited to add: Perhaps we should stop calling it Piracy and change the name to "Targeted International Aid to Entrepeneurs"? Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

It really doesn't make any sense. The pirates are generally armed with AK47s & RPG7s or similar. We're looking at ships carrying something like 20mm cannon and the crew having assault rifles & sidearms to be effective. There is the expense of training, and weapon security Vs accessibility. Bear in mind that the current areas where piracy is common just now are VERY near countries which are officially paranoid about armed persons & ships in and around their waters. Because of this, patrols by warships are the only feasible answer... Although perhaps a Q-Ship or two may have interesting effects? Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

+1

Not if what you really want is the trained crew, who have company ransom insurance. The crew hides dead easy, and the nice thing about loaded tankers is that no-one's going to put SAS or similar on it. All that remains is for the local cops where you operate from to be paid off and it's pretty easy money. Especially since modern First / Second World warships no longer have yardarms to hang you from. Historically, the only way pircay was suppressed is for the intervening navies to be more brutal than the pirates, but that can't really happen today. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

(with my serious head on...) I'm not so sure that this is a competitive league. I see little difference in culture between America & Britain, yet one is in the top 28 and another is in the top 14. Perhaps this isn't a case of exact places, but rather one of which "quarter" or "division" you're in, with BOTH the US, UK, Germany, France... being in the quarter which allows equality of opportunity, pay and conditions, without resorting to positive discrimination to force an artificial equality. The exact placement may well be a function of the exact methods of scoring equality, and how well this scoring fits the country. I believe that the study originated in switzerland, so may well better reflect Northern European measures of gender equality. (non-mysogynous)Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

That's absolutely right. And Clever You for noticing, you sweet little thing. (Misogynous)Mike Edited to add: Iona (my Wee-Wifey) has just seen this post... And has just re-sized another of my organs! Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

http://newsbiscuit.com/article/blair-offers-to-be-obamas-puppy-405 Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair has offered his services to the new president of the United States in what he describes as a key role at the centre of the White House. ‘No it is not demeaning’ Blair told reporters, sporting a rented cartoon dog costume; this is the special relationship in action.’ Tony Blair has undertaken a number of key posts since resigning as Prime Minister last year, but has alway made it be known that he was interested in cementing Anglo-American relations. His duties would include a number of strict retrieval projects, accompanying the First Lady on walkabouts and security responsibilities in the backyard of the White House. ‘When the paper boy throws the Washington Post over the gate, we need a puppy that can catch it and bring it through the hatch without ripping it to shreds. It is a very high level appointment.’ However it is thought that The White House is looking at a number of European statesman to take up the role of the President’s puppy. ‘We might consider a French poodle or a German lap-dog, or a loyal English sniffer dog. We haven’t decided yet,’ said a White House spokesman. It was revealed that a number of leaders have already been brought to the Obama family for consideration ‘Mr Blair was possibly a bit too licky for us. But at least he didn’t try and hump Michelle’s leg like President Sarkozy.’ Posted: 12 November 2008 by NewsBiscuit Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Don't let the feminists hear that! Agreed. I was going to comment on this, but the little lady has almost finished her vacuuming and she might get upset if she sees this thread when she fetches my coffee! Mike. Edited to add: OUCH!! She saw it, and just like Darius said, she's just made at least one of my organs a different size! Mike Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

How about: Fixing the Economy with Tax-Breaks and Regulation...? Let's say there's a tax break at basic rate for the first $100k of a first mortgage? One per person/home? Let's say there's regulation capping the interest on secured loans (mortgages) to 2 or 3% above the Fed Rate? Let's say there was a 12 month moratorium on home repossessions where the reposessee could show it was their sole property? Would that help stabilise the market? (Non-Facetious)Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Isn't it wonderful.

Actually, Hillary is tipped for a vital White House post. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

You and I must be looking at different paper. Yes you are. The paper that says Palin was qualified is softer and more absorbent. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Good Lord. Something like that could have cost Palin & McCain the election. However, I think I can say that this false news did NOT make me change my vote in any way! Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

So who would you recommend I take with me? I'm sure you'll know better than me. I'd assume anyone from Peachtree Road / Buckhead Ave area. The women in the Havana club are frankly scary... You can actually feel their predatory stares into your back, as they think; MMMmmm... Fresh DNA. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.