FADE IN:
EXT. PEASANT TOWN SQUARE – DAY
A PEASANT GROUP runs toward the TOWN SQUARE dragging a YOUNG WOMAN dressed as a WING. SIR BEDEVERE, tending to physics experiments, releases a nuclear powered ornithopter tied to a coconut.
PEASANT GROUP
(Shouting)
"We found a wing, she’s a wiiing fling her."
BEDEVERE
(addressing the peasants)
"How do you knoooooow she’s a wing?"
PEASANT GROUP
(Shouting)
" ‘Cause she looks like one."
"FLIIIIIING her."
YOUNG WOMAN
"I’m not a wing. They did this to me."
"These aren’t my A lines."
Bedevere addresses the peasants.
BEDEVERE
"Did you do this to her?"
PEASANT GROUP
"No… no… no… yes… no."
PEASANT 1
"We did do the A lines."
"And the d-bag."
(pause)
"But she does have an air lock."
PEASANT GROUP
(Shouting)
"FLIIIIING her!"
BEDEVERE
"There are ways to tell if she is a wing."
The peasants look confused.
BEDEVERE
"What else can be flung like a wing?"
PEASANT GROUP
"Churches… marshmallows… navel lint… Mozhaisky’s airplane…"
KING ARTHUR watches the goings on from the side.
KING ARTHUR
"A piano… flung from a trebuchet."
All turn to look at Arthur. Bedevere, in great amazement, exclaims…
BEDEVERE
"Exactly!"
PEASANT 1
"So… if she can be flung…"
Peasant 1 strains to find the logic.
"As far as a piano……"
PEASANT GROUP
(Shouting)
"She’s a wing… fliiiing her."
BEDEVERE
"We’ll use my largest trebuchet."
Unfortunately, at this point the illogic of the physics takes hold causing the film to be quickly burned by the bulb and break. Thus, just like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop the world will never know how far a Wing can be flung from a trebuchet.