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"Defense network computers. New... powerful... hooked into everything, trusted to run it all. They say it got smart, a new order of intelligence". According to Reese, Skynet "saw all humans as a threat; not just the ones on the other side" and "decided our fate in a microsecond: extermination".

Bless your heart.

Simple. 1) Stop speaking and tweeting for the next two months. 2) Put Fauci in charge; he becomes the public face of our response to COVID-19.

But you don't admit it. You just denied a constant and repeated example of your bias that is as obvious as the nose on your face. You lie about recognising it, you lie about admitting it in any meaningful way. That is the difference.

How the hell is that relevant to the fact Trump said “anyone who wants a test can get a test”??? You would have us believe that a false promise can be defended by proving the promise was false??? What kind of logic is that???

If it's not Trump's fault, whose fault is it that he lied about the availability of tests on March 6th?

Well, we've already phoned a friend, used our lifeline and polled the audience. Time to ask our wives, I reckon.

Thank God you showed up!!

They said you just need to wear masks and gloves when you go out. They lied. Everyone else was wearing clothes

And Tandy Computers. And Atari. The computer revolution is a big dud. No one is going to invest in personal computers after those fiascos. And don't even get me started on the whole "online" thing. Remember America Online? The failure of AOL is all you need to know about any potential "future" for the Internet.

If Inhofe didn't, then it's clearly not associated with conservatism (he's generally ranked as the most conservative member of Congress), but instead an individual trait. Might be correlated with being a Republican, a capitalist, or just an entitled asshole. Wendy P.

Back to the original topic, another idea I would throw out is to buy a block of jump tickets right now. You're going to spend the money anyway, and the extra cash flow right now may be huge for some of the smaller DZs out there.

Both of you. Go to your rooms.

A Bad Day... > A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They > arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?" His wife > is puzzled and asks if he has been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. > "He's on my bowling team." > > When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual & brings > over a Heineken. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and > says,"How does she know what you drink" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling > League, honey - we share lanes with them." > > A sexy stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around > Dave, and says "Hi Davey - want your usual table dance, big boy?" Dave's > wife, now furious, grabs her handbag and storms out of the club. Dave > follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he > jumps in beside her. > > He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for > someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at > the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. > > The cab driver turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real > b*tch tonight, Davey."

25 Signs That You've Grown Up,,,,,, >1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. >2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. >3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. >4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. >5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. >6. You watch the Weather Channel. >7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup." >8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. >9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." >10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door >won't turn down the stereo. >11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. >12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. >13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. >14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. >15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. >16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM >17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. >18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather >than settle, your stomach. >19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not >condoms and pregnancy tests. >20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." >21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. >22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to >drink that much again." >23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. >24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. >25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't >apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

Covid - 19 Ribbon

A monastery opened up a fish and chips shop to raise money for their charities. The food was really good when I went there. So good that I went back to the counter and asked the fellow for more French fries. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but I’m the fish friar. Let me get the chip monk to help you.”

>There was once an Australian backwoodsman who had a son. The boy's mother >had died giving birth, and they had spent their entire lives in the >wilderness, so the boy had never seen a woman in his life. On the boy's >sixteenth birthday, the father decided it was time for the boy to learn >more about the ways of life. So they ventured forth into civilization, and >the father took the boy to a whorehouse. He explained the situation to the >madam, and she sent the boy to a room with one of her best girls. >When they were alone, the girl began taking off her blouse. When she did >so, the boy grabbed the end table and threw it out the window. The girls >shrugged it off and took off her pants. Then the boy grabbed the dresser >and threw it out the window. She still couldn't figure out what he was up >to, but she continued to remove her underwear, then stood in total >amazement as the boy pushed the bed out into the hall. "What on earth are >you doing?!?" the girl asked. >The boy replied, "I don't know what's about to happen here, mate, but if >it's anything like fucking a kangaroo, we're going to need all the room we >can get!"

And you don't appreciate either one until they go down on you.

language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English, these words were of neutral gender. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was composed of the women in the class, and the other of men Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model. The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure. After Duke published the study, The University of Missouri-Columbia = decided=20 to do their own study. After $250,000.00 and 3 years of research, they=20 concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. The University of Kansas, unsatisfied with these findings, spent $13.27 (for a Playboy, Penthouse, and a case of Old Milwaukee) and concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.

Moo skies, Lisa. We were better with you..

Skydiving Hall of Fame Class of 2020! https://skydivingmuseum.org/news/congratulations-hall-fame-class-2020