Lot’s of contradictions in your posts.
First, your reserve is NOT 189 or 190, Decelerators come 180 or 210, so with a 180 your reserve wing loading is about 1.4.
Second, you say you have a small reserve because that’s the biggest that would fit your rig, then say you bought new gear, so you CHOSE to get something that small.
You consult with the elder because “ you don’t want to get on a shit list”, then complain that you got some grief when you bought your new gear. Maybe their disapproval was based on your gear choice (small reserve) rather than the fact that it was new.
You talk about your textbook flares, yet admit you sometimes “trip over your own feet”, your accuracy is bad, and you haven’t done a some very basic canopy drills.
You have one year in the sport, only did 60 jumps over that year, but now want to step outside the generally accepted guidelines.
Your ultimate reason for downsizing, easier front riser turns, makes no sense.
You come on a public forum looking for strangers to recommend what the locals apparently won’t.
I think it was Mark Twain that said “It is often better to remain silent when accused of stupidity than to speak and remove all doubt.”
Ultimately, you are a grown up skydiver with an A license. You can do what ever you choose.