The great matress jump

[patworks 5]

Ok, Ok, being IQ challenged does make for interesting skydives.

Short version . . . . Having failed at passing a watermelon, we move onward toward infamy.
. . . . . The plot until now.....
Passing a watermelon was akin to an ill-timed bowel movement for us Ace Skydivers.... . . . undaunted we cogitate that
. .Since the watermelon did not work out. We need a sure thing. Something that a sponsor would pay for. What?
. , A Mattress! Lovely Idea!
. . Genius! Oh, hold me back....
YO! A freakin Beauty Rest Mattress in free fall!
*. . . . a skydiver lightly lands to lay and snooze on air. . .*

Screaming we are gonna be famous… we are gonna be RICH!
We set off to plot and scheme.
- - - -- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - -
And that is this story:
Ok, our watermelon experience indicates that perhaps we should do a few proof-of-concept jumps first... Before we get the major networks involved…… These should even happen prior to having Time Magazine and ESPN on site.
. . . . . Agreed.
. . . . Thus, using that elegant reverse Darwin-logic, we started small. Just a pilot-concept test. … Just use things we have at hand. . . . . . .

VISION: On a stunningly bight and perfect day a beautiful skydiver shares a blue sky with lovely puffy clouds. Cut to action: There amongst the soft white clouds, floats a Beauty Rest Mattress. Today, its sleep numbers are two Sleep Sheep skydivers who provide assured satiability to the worlds best rest-mattress.
> . . . Ok. that is our VISION. Our Mission is to pull it on in a very few jumps (Jumps cost about $6.50).

For the pilot testing we use a military surplus Bunk bed (from like when I was in the Army) Mattress. . . . . These were a sleeping pad made of cotton batting in six-inch thick pads that grace an Army Barracks beds. You roll them up into about a 2.5 foot diameter when you get orders to move out.
. . . . . . Importantly, this means that they will fit into a Cessna 196 without havng to chainsaw the door.
....... The rest is pure simple physics and flying.
The mattress is the target-base. It exits first with a caretaker holding loops at each end. The purpose of this was to present an inviting bed for the third skydiver to alight upon, repose in a comfy pose, and yawn.
. . . .When captured on film, we would be both famous and wealthy. Sigh.

. . . OK, so load everybody in the 196 and stuff the mattress in. Take off. Climb. Exit. Camera. Action. SNAFU...

The mattress and holders get out with small drama. The mattress won’t open. It briefly breathers like a flower on Red Bull. The "Rester" alights. The mattress encloses Bill like a hot dog bun. He appears to be kicking and screaming...

Except for him, everyone else pulls high and lands soft.



* * *

Pat Works nee Madden Travis Works, Jr .B1575, C1798, D1813, Star Crest Solo#1, USPA#189,

[jumpwally 0]

Nice ...

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[zoobrothertom 5]

LOL

____________________________________
I'm back in the USA!!

[Niki1 2]

That's great!! Skydivers either disprove Darwin's theory of natural selection or "super-prove" it.

Did you ever hear about Leon Richie's refridgerator box jump? I asked him about once and he said it happened pretty much as it was related to me.

The story:
Leon thinks it would be cool to get pushed out of the cargo door of a Twin Beech in a large refridgertor box. This is back when P.C. meant Para Commander. So out he goes in the box. He thinks, "Wow, this is Cool. I wonder why my altimeter isn't working." He figures he better go ahead and get out before he loses track of time. He tries to jump up and out but the box seems to jump up with him. He tries to roll it over but somthing seems to be stopping it from rolling over. Finally, he pulls his ripcord, Insted of the pilot chute jumping into the air, the pilot chute and sleeved P.C. fall on the floor of the box. He picks up the spring loaded pilot chute and holds it out over the top of the box in the wind stream and it takes off like it's suppoed to do, takes the sleeved P.C. off the floor of the box and opens normally. The box floats sort of gently to the ground. I think Leon learned something about physics that day. But it might be said that he was the first modern skydive to use a Hand Deployed Pilot Chute.

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done.
Louis D Brandeis

Where are we going and why are we in this basket?

[DavidB 0]

ROTFLMAO!

Tears in my eyes from laughing!

Thank you both so much!

When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.