Art Buchwald on skydiving

[howardwhite 6]

Art Buchwald, the syndicated columnist, died yesterday.
While best known recently for his political humor, he lived for many years in France and wrote on a variety of subjects.

Here (from the dusty archives) is a column he wrote in 1955, syndicated by the New York Herald Tribune and published all across the U.S. While probably not at the time intended to be funny, it is.

HW

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The United States will compete against Russia in the International Parachute Jumping Contests which will be held in Moscow next July. This fact, as well as many others, was brought to us by Jacques Andre Istel and Ray Young, who were the American delegation to the International Parachute Jumpers' Convention which was just held in Vienna.
"This is the first time America will compete internationally," Mr. Istel said. "The United States Is entering a new era in the parachute sport. We have to change our whole way of thinking. In the United States competitive jumping was based on somersaulting. But in order to compete we are going to have to learn how to sky dive — that is, to dive toward the earth with our arms outstretched like a swan. The French have offered to teach us the method and we hope to have a team ready for the competition. We don't want to go to Moscow and make asses of ourselves."
Mr. Young told us: "I've been jumping with the French for five years. The Russians and the French are the best jumpers in the world. There is a fantastic interest in the sport over there. The French provide training centers and encourage the sport."
"In America," said Mr. Istel, "they've discouraged it. Almost every state has laws against jumping for sport. But I think it's loosening up a little. Vice-President Nixon said he was concerned about the health and stamina of American youth. Parachuting is a sport that will give youngsters stamina, self-confidence and a sense of responsibility. It is the answer to juvenile delinquency. Kids will be so tired from parachute jumping that they won't want to do anything else."
"But American parents will have to be educated toward the sport," said Mr. Young. "As it stands now, most parents would probably rather have a delinquent child than a parachuting one."
"I know this is a siliy question," we said, "but is parachuting safe?"
"It's twice as safe as skiing," said Mr. Young, "and ten times as safe as motorcycling. The only deaths we've had in France were caused by parachutists on motorcycles going to and from the fields."
"I now understand why our guys were being killed in America" said Mr. Istel. It was because we were somersaulting and the guys were misjudging how near they were to the ground. In sky diving you're always watching the ground and you know when to pull the chute."
Mr. Istel is the third ranking parachutist in the United States. He said there are about 200 professional jumpers in America,
"The Russians say they have a thousand, but we were told they have 800,000. There will be competitions for women as well as men at Moscow, but the United States won't enter any women. We don't have any yet. But once they hear about the sport I think they'll come flocking. The American woman is a natural sportswoman."
As in all international conferences, said Mr. Istel, "the Russians tried to stack the decks against us. In the style jumping we wanted to judge by camera and they wanted to judge by sight. They said they had no one in Russia to judge by film. We told them that if we were going to learn an entirely new method of parachute jumping by July, they can learn how to judge films. Then they said they didn't have the cameras, and I told them I was a great admirer of Russian films and I was sure they could do a good filming job. They finally gave in on it and many other things that would have been advantageous to them. They want to win this thing badly. They keep their team in training 12 months out of the year. We have to practice in our spare time, usually only on weekends."
Before leaving, Mr. Istel reiterated: "Once Americans realize that parachuting is a safe, exciting sport, the juvenile delinquency problem will be over."
We told him we thought it was worth trying anyway.

[zoobrothertom 5]

It's funny, because in a way it came true. Ask yourselves guys & gals, are you a better person because of skydiving or not?

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I'm back in the USA!!

[howardwhite 6]

Well, I'm a better person because I don't somersault when I skydive. And the world is a better place because of the end of juvenile delinquency and because those Russkies have been put in their place.

HW

[airdvr 210]

That is a good read. My personal experience was heavily laiden with drugs and alcohol prior to learning to jump. I can honestly say that jumping straightened my dumb ass out...at least the drug part

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne