Terrified

[Scottyb 0]

Hi Everyone,

Yesterday my husband and I took our 6th and 7th jumps.

My AFP1 (jump # 4) and AFP2 (jump # 5) were successful, but not great. During AFP1 I tumbled out the door and then went into a flat spin before getting stable. During my AFP2 I never got stable, didn't do any of the manuevers, and at 6000 ft, I started a left turn, without thinking. Needless to say, I pulled at 4500. When my canopy opened I had a sizeable line twist which I knew to kick myself out of thanks to Laurie - an instructor who had discussed this malfunction with me just a few weeks before. I ended up landing in a nearby golfcourse.

I passed AFP1, but failed AFP2. Everyone at Crosskeys was wonderful as they always are. They just kept telling me that it wasn't a perfect jump, but it was a successful jump. I jumped out of an airplane and landed safely, so that made it a successful jump. At that point, I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face (this reaction has happened each and every time I have jumped). I have to make a special mention of the whole crew at Crosskeys. They always make you feel like you belong there no matter whether you're new to the sport or a veteran. There's always someone to hug when you land safely and are so excited you feel like you're going to burst!

After a few months off, We were starting to go through what I call "skydiving withdraw." We were ready to get back up there and since we had gotten several gift certificates as presents for Christmas, we headed for the DZ yesterday.

We took our refresher course and Rick explained what he thought I had done wrong during my last two jumps. I was starting to feel a little more confident and thought I was ready to take another jump.

The key word here is "thought". After our training was over, we went to the cafe to get a bite to eat. Pancake came in and introduced himself to my husband and said they would be on the next load together. Needless to say, we immediately went to see who I was jumping with. When I found out I wasn't going on the same load, I started to get a little nervous. Actually, I became VERY nervous. I went out back to see my husband land and missed my name being called for the following load. When I went to check, Liz put me on the next load with Pancake. While I was waiting, my husband landed safely and came to find me. He was thrilled about his jump, but he could see immediately that something was wrong with me. When he asked what it was, I started crying. I was so scared that something else would go wrong. Actually, I was terrified. In my heart, I really WANT to skydive, but in my head, I keep asking "weren't these two problems enough of a warning?" I think Rick and Pancake knew I was upset too because they asked me what was going on. My husband kept saying I didn't have to do this and I kept telling him "I WANT TO DO THIS!!!" I decided I was going to jump and I got on the plane. As soon as I did, my heart started pounding so hard I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I sat right up front next to the pilot and pancake loaded in right behind me. He started talking and joking with me as soon as he got me buckled in. As a matter of fact, Pancake, the pilot (whose name I didn't get), Jason - my videographer (I decided to take a videographer just in case something went wrong again so I could see on the video what I was doing wrong), and Troy (the JM I was supposed to jump with on the load I missed) all started talking and joking with me. By the time we hit altitude, I was smiling, laughing, and relaxed thanks to these people and ready to skydive. I was still scared, but no longer terrified.

I am very proud to say that this was the BEST jump I have ever made. I had to work out a few glitches (going off course, etc.) along the way, but nothing major. I just kept trying to smile and stay relaxed. I am amazed at what a difference it makes.

I'm sorry this message is so long, but I just wanted to explain why I was so terrified. Rick even asked my husband if I was doing this for him (my husband...not Rick). He told Rick he didn't think so, but I thought it was interesting that Rick picked up on that because I want to do this with him and I want him to be proud of me for doing it.

Will this tumbling stomach and hard beating heart ever stop??? I want to be excited and not terrified about every jump I take. How long will it take before I am confident enough to get on the plane without hesitation?

Anyhow, after this jump we took another. I was lucky enough to have Pancake again and that jump was great too (althought I didn't feel it was as great as the first one - I panicked when I saw him in front of me in freefall instead of holding me at my side).

I've decided that the jumpmaster makes the jump. If they get you relaxed enough, you can really enjoy your jump.

I would like to send out a thank you to Troy, Jason, the pilot, and especially to Rick and Pancake at Crosskeys in Williamstown, New Jersey. Without them, I would have probably ridden the plane back down and never jumped again. Now I know that all it takes is a smile (along with everything else) and thanks to these guys, I have enough confidence to get back up there again! Thank you all so much!

Sincerely,
Teri Bryan

[Snowbird 0]

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Will this tumbling stomach and hard beating heart ever stop???

Yup!

Isn't it the most bizarre thing, to want something SO much, and yet be freaked out by it at the same time? From the things I've read in here and the people I've talked to, it's totally normal, but bizarre all the same.

And then, when you think you've got past it, you'll find yourself somewhere doing something new, and your gut will seize up again. Once you push through, all will be awesome. You shoulda seen me at Skydive Arizona in January! 60 jumps under my newbie belt, from a Cessna dz, suddenly finding myself in skydiving paradise. I used every possible excuse in the book to delay my first jump there, until Kiwi - my first and bestest jumpmaster - pushed me over to manifest. I was SO nervous, but all was awesome once I got my butterflies flying in formation.

And you can expect altitude withdrawl to be a common malady. Sucks to be out of the sky too long. (like a week or more )

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

[Michele 1]

Hi, Teri!

Guess what? You're normal! LOL! Let's see...

Belly jitters and knocking knees? Yep, still get them.

Standing at the plane wondering what the heck I think I'm doing? Why, just Saturday that happened...

Um....

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because I want to do this with him and I want him to be proud of me for doing it.

See, I want you to be proud of you for doing this. It's your experience, it's your flight, it's your challenge and your success. Yours. no-one else's.

You will have some hard times - of course you will. We are learning to fly, Teri, that totally "unnatural" thing. Our minds will protest and fight and scream. Our brains will forget the joy, or call it "not worth it" for the risk. Our hearts, though, our hearts and our souls call us back into the sky...and there we find out that our limits are self imposed, our choice to explore the universe differently than others perfect for ourselves. Up there, I find a freedom which I do not have on the ground....and it's worth the battle each and every time I jump.

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I've decided that the jumpmaster makes the jump. If they get you relaxed enough, you can really enjoy your jump.

Make another decision....how about it's you who make the jump? You who make yourself relaxed enough to enjoy yourself. You who allow yourself the incredible opportunity to taste the sky...you....you...you...not the JM...you.

I have battled and fought and struggled with the fear and anxiety. I understand...and I know that you are capable of conquering it without question. I am certain that you are fine, you just don't know that yet.

I'm here should you need to talk.

Ceils-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[weid14 0]

Well, first off, you're at an excellent DZ. (I imagine they're still flying the caravan(s) until the otter and van get home?) good staff and good vibes.

second you're normal... don't worry about it

third, there's an article in this month's skydiving about Marianne Kramer (I probably spelled her name wrong but I'm to lazy to run upstairs and look), read it, sounds similar and you may find some good info in it.

[payback462 0]

hey, dont worry about being scared, everybody is through AFP, they just dont admit it
in fact im pretty sure the only reason i passed AFP without any repeats was because i was so friggin scared id messup that my mind MADE my body do what i needed to do, cause it sure has hell wasnt natural ability.

and hey if i had johno as my pilot id be a bit scared too, i mean who lets packers fly planes?? did you see how far back he put that one guy who got out when he called door

[beemertec 0]

It is totally unnatural to jump out of a plane. We have within us an instinct for survival and I think that instinct kicks in every time I get on the plane to varying degrees. I think it is worse after a lengthy layoff. I hadn't jumped since before Christmas when I went to the DZ this weekend. Saturday I sat all day and looked at clouds, and Sunday when I got on the plane we had minor mechanical problems that delayed takeoff about 20 minutes. That gave me plenty of time to get even more nervous. Once I was in the air my training took over and the jump went smoothly. I believe if you focus on how much you enjoy jumping it will help alleviate some of the fear.( alleviate is my big word for the dayJust my 2 cents

Blue Skies
Steve
Ok, so it's pink, but I'm secure in my manhood, and I still look cool coming in under it!

[Iflyme 0]

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Will this tumbling stomach and hard beating heart ever stop???

Yup. I think it was about 20 or 30 jumps before my heart beat didn't escalate in the plane prior to each jump. And I guarantee that many - if not most of the people here had a few fears back in their student days. Hang in there ...

[KATO33 0]

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Laurie - an instructor who had discussed this malfunction with me just a few weeks before.

Would That be Laurie Clark If So tell her Chris from Millennium said Hello.

That tumbling in the stomach Will eventually go away.
Reading the description of your not so perfect jumps I wish a few of my not so perfect lvls went that well.

Don't tell any one but it took me 15 jumps to pass an 8 jump course

Blue Skies Black Death

[lawrocket 3]

Krikey! The pucker factor and, yes, stark terror still exists with me. Most don't see it. But I sure feel it.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[FallinAngel 0]

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"(althought I didn't feel it was as great as the first one - I panicked when I saw him in front of me in freefall instead of holding me at my side). "

Having some fear is a good thing. It can motivate you to pay attention to safety details and be cautious. However, for some people, it can also hinder your ability to react promptly and accurately. At no time should you ever "panic" during a skydive. If you are the type who tends to panic under stressful situations, you should seriously consider whether or not you can overcome that reaction.

I'm not trying to dissuade you from taking up skydiving. But there is no room for panic in this sport.


Jen

-Nothing worthwhile is easy-

[Scottyb 0]

Jen, I don't think panic is the right word (this is scott) but high anxiety is better. We watched the video and there was no panic involved just a great skydive that Teri nailed! I think what she was feeling was 3 months of not jumping and second guessing her problems with her last jumps. I think her "fear" not panic is what keeps us safe as students as we we are learning to fly.

Scott