Performance Anxiety

[Michele 1]

I had an interesting time this last friday, when I went to go jump. Good friends, perfect weather, utter angst. Not quite airweenie status, thank god, but still, jittery and nervous. I was jumping my new suit that had booties, and it was really bothering me because I didn't know what to expect. Two jumps later, no injuries or funnels or crashes at all... but vaguely dissatisfied with myself. Actually, not vaguely at all. Quite dissatisfied. And also quite frustrated.

A dear friend pointed out that I am holding myself to a standard that, in reality, is impossible at 60 jumps...which is, of course, perfection. I actually expect me to somehow take a brand new experience (booties) and not have an adjustment period at all...or be able to get into a tracking dive and not experience complications there. Both scenarios are unrealistic, I know. And yet, that's the rational part. The other part is this personal expectation of perfection....and the huge fear that people jumping with me will get bored or frustrated with me, and not want to come with me again.

So I guess my question is do you put pressure on yourself like that? Or is it something that will go away in time? Or what? I am not alone, I don't think, but I'd be interested in hearing your views. For those who do have this performance anxiety, how do you deal with it? For those who see it in others, how do you suggest they deal with it?

Sigh...thanks in advance.

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[eddytheeagle 0]

I think this is pretty common. Quite a lot of skydivers are perfectionalists, and put pressure on themselves. Having some pressure is a good thing imo, it makes you perform better. Of course, too much pressure won't do any good.

One way to deal with pressure is preparation. Especially for the challenging dives (on every level, one can have challeging dives!), a good dirt dive is essential. Make sure you know what to do, and go over this in the plane. Just a couple of times, and think about something else during the rest of the time. Knowing what to do makes people more relaxed. Also, have faith in yourself, positive thinking helps!

Back to the too much pressure situation. If somebody is on a multi-point 16 way, with only 60 jumps, and jumping a suit with booties for the first time (oeps, i'm getting a little unrealistic here), pressure can build up, to such an amount that it gets dangerous. What I'm getting to is, if you think the dive is way over your head, don't do it. Push your limits a little every time, and don't change to much things (preferably only one) at the time.

I think it isn't a good idea to do challenging dives all the time, cause you find yourself 'walking on your toes' continuously. Then, if things don't go according plan, frustration easily kicks in. And remember, not every dive can be perfect, if that would be the case, skydiving would become boring very quickly.

So, push your limits slowly (to fast can be dangerous!), don't be to harsh for yourself if you don't succeed the first time (though this might be hard for a perfectionalist), and don't forget why we jump out airplaines in the first place: have fun!

Just some thoughts....

Don't underestimate your ability to screw up!

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

Oh Michele, how I love you! I am sooo happy to have met you on Friday. You are so sweet and supportive in every way. Your presence alone made me happy to be on the same load as you, even though we have not jumped together...yet.

God, talk about feeling dissatisfied...while I am feeling strong about my freefall skills, my landings could use work! This is because I am too anxious about my landings and embarrassed to death about not standing them in front of you & others. However, I know that you are my friend and that you will understand that this happens sometimes and that I am still learning. Therefore, remember that we all feel the same towards you when/if you are not having such an "on" day.

We are here to help each other. If you need a little support from your friends, it's OK. I am sure that they still all love you and think very highly of you. I know that I do. People will want to jump with you ALWAYS, Michele. I have no doubt about that. You are just too hard on yourself. Meanwhile...you were inspiring me.

Did you even know how much of a positive effect you had on me? You were passing on your wealth of knowledge to me about your experiences, and you made me feel sooo calm on the plane. You rock hard, Michele, just for being the amazing (yes, amazing!) woman that you are.

By the way, I took that 2-way camp today, and it was fabulous. Michael (MJ -What a great instructor!) & I jumped four 2-ways. His critiques were soooo positive. He made me feel like a future skyqueen in the making with all his positivity. Thank you for recommending this camp, and I hope to see you there with me soon. (((((((((((((((HUGS!))))))))))))))))))
ROSA
P.S. Eddytheeagle has some wonderful point, doesn't he? It's all about the fun!

[ladyskydiver 0]

Hey, hon!

Something that might help you - get video of one (or more) of your jumps. And then ask one of the JM's you trust to critique it. You'd be surprised at the number of good things you do and how well you do them.

It's hard not to do but don't compare yourself to others. It's not fair to you. There will always be people who are better than us - no matter what their jump numbers. Too often, we compare ourselves to those that have so many more jumps than us or expect perfection out of ourselves. Remember, you're skydiving because you love it. And, if you get frustrated, do what I do - go do a "F#%K IT!" dive. Grab a friend's hand, summersalt out of the plane, and whatever happens - happens. Throw your friend around the sky - chase each other - laugh - and remember the love you have of the sky.

There will always be people who will jump with you. Guaranteed.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[skybytch 273]

Quote

So I guess my question is do you put pressure on yourself like that?

Ohhhh yeeeaaaahhhh.....

It's bad enough when it's learning a new thing that sets it off. It's worse when for some inexplicable reason my flying begins to suck (as happened to me last year). The upside is if you hang with the frustration and keep working on whatever is frustrating you, a breakthrough will come.

Especially at your level, don't worry about people not wanting to jump with you because you make mistakes in the air. We all screw up, we all have bad jumps/days/weeks/months. Worry only if you are continously making the same mistakes in the air, or if the mistakes are threatening your or other jumper's survival.

I've stuck with skydiving this many years because it's hard. If it was easy I wouldn't still be doing it. The frustration of not being perfect at something sucks, but the feeling whe I finally "get" whatever I'm not perfect at...

You've got years and years of jumping ahead of you. You're going to get frustrated many times. Keep getting on the plane and in the end, you'll have a lifetime full of satisfying accomplishments to show for it.

[Michele 1]

Love to all of you!!! (And those who sent me pm's, you too!)

To know that a world record holder, to folks in the industry, to a 100 jump wonder () to a newbie like myself all have the same considerations is reassuring. Very reassuring.

I think that once I can get into the air more often, I will be able to relax more, put less pressure on myself, and manage to have more fun. I know this is fun, and I always smile and have a ball in the sky...it's just when I get down onto the ground that I get all pissy with myself...it's like I land, and shove my head right on up where the sun don't shine, and whack myself around. And only focus on what went wrong, not what went right. For instance, the first time doing a tracking dive, I managed to keep up with the other guys, and the exit went wonderfully, and the landing was superb...but I focus on why I couldn't get down to the guys (I ended up paralleling them from above). That's the only thing which was wrong, but that's what I focus on...

It's good to know that there are others who do this kind of thing, too...and that I'm not alone in it.

hugs, ladies...

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[ladyskydiver 0]

Quote

For instance, the first time doing a tracking dive, I managed to keep up with the other guys, and the exit went wonderfully, and the landing was superb

Ok...now pat yourself on the back for what went right. As for what was off...did you learn from it? Knowing you, I'd say the answer is yes.

You were challenged, did quite a few awesome things, and have an opportunity to learn more. What's so bad about that?

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[Michele 1]

Quote

You were challenged, did quite a few awesome things, and have an opportunity to learn more. What's so bad about that?

I was about a bazillion feet over them, and to the side. I couldn't tell if I was moving sideways or if they were (which leads to airspace creep...which could be dangerous). I did manage a speed of 117, which is the slowest I have ever gone...Hey! I could jump with you now!!! LOL! I floated on Vectorboy and Islandcool!

Did I learn? Yes, except I still haven't figured out how to get back DOWN to them in that situation. Nor how to prevent it from happening again in the future. And that's what concerns me. I mean, will they (or anyone) want to play tag with me again, if I can't stay in the game???

(And yes, "bazillion" is an estimate. There is some confusion as to how far I was above them. Glen thinks about 150 feet, I think far more than that...it just concerns me because of airspace creep...)

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[ladyskydiver 0]

LOL And, I'm buying weights so I could even sink down with you when I get them.

Have you been taught to "swoop" down to a formation, yet? If not, ask one of your instructors how to do it.

There are two ways that I've been taught to get to a formation. When there is a large distance, I've been taught to swoop to the formation - but you need to know how to put on brakes so you don't run people over. The other is to arch more to get to the same level as the formation and then drive forward into your slot.

And, yes, people will play tag with you. There are a ton of skydivers who are so very willing to teach you how to do stuff and have the patience of a saint while doing it. And, I for one would jump with you again - even if the only thing we do for the entire jump is to work on fall rate.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[tbrown 26]

If you're just not having a good day it can show up in your skydiving. Whether it's something about work, money, relationships, your car needing an expensive repair, or just not enough sleep, they can all affect the way you feel. Only difference is there's the added stress of your expecting yourself to perform and with your new jumpsuit, trying something new, plus we're always scared just a bit about the jumping part. It can all add up and just wreck your day if you let it. Just blow it off, "mama told you there'd be days like this".

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[Albatross 0]

Michele,
Try using the basic 4-way/8-way team debreif of your jumps. Come up with 2-3 things that were good about the jump before you go on to focus on what you can do to improve. Make the positive happen, even if it is just something like I was in the air with my friends or I landed and didn't die. There are positives on every jump, make sure that you see them. When you move to improvements make them constructive not bitching. Say I need to arch while tracking to help me get down not I was too high.
Remember that the mind only see pictures so if you think about what you did poorly and not what you will do to improve it you will repeat the mistakes and just get more frustrated.

BTW EVERYONE I know has some degree of this issue. That is everyone. if we weren't concerned about what we could do better we would not be driven to improve.

Chris

[jceman 1]

Quote

And that's what concerns me. I mean, will they (or anyone) want to play tag with me again, if I can't stay in the game???

Michele, I'll repeat what others have said, unless you have proven to be a hazard to yourself or others, people will jump with you. With your jump numbers and infrequency of jumpos, it seems from what has been reported that you are doing just fine.

I know I am not alone in saying that Lynn and I will jump with you and give you feedback. You may be disappointed in the feedback, though, because we will focus on what you did right in the post-jump discussion, and only after we have done that will we mention what went wrong (along with suggestions of how to prevent it).

You are your own harshest critic here -- I know you have received criticism in the past from mean-spirited people. You have also received praise here from others who have jumped with you. It seems you need to take the praise to heart a bit harder and give the lumps a bit less weight.

It is obviuos from your taking canopy control classes and asking for help that you take your safety seriously. That attitude alone will go a long way in other people cutting you slack if you don;t perform "perfectly" on a jump.

Be safe, be confident and aware. I don't think we can ask much more from you.

Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money.

Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them?

[Islandcool 0]

Quote

I was about a bazillion feet over them, and to the side.

Ok maybe several hundred feet but gotta love the gal. Cora is right. Pat yourself on the back for the things that went right and for going in the first place. I was a little nervous myself as it was my first tracking dive and I didn't want to screw up. I've turned down quite a few opportunities to do some fun dives because I had too much anxiety about screwing it up. So the fact that you even went is great. Your exit was good and you you stayed with us even if it was at some distance. New suit, floating for the first time...all things considered you did great. Truthfully if you were a fuck-up I'd tell you and probably not want to jump with you. Most people would I think. That is not the case so think about that.

Ed

[Jessica 0]

Having booties is like having GIANT OARS tied to your feet. It's going to take time to get used to the different kinds of input you have to give.

Try some two-way drill dives, so you can figure out what happens when you move your legs around.

Flying in a jumpsuit is an awesome thing! I bet you'll end up loving it.

Skydiving is for cool people only

[Michele 1]

Quote

You have also received praise here from others who have jumped with you. It seems you need to take the praise to heart a bit harder and give the lumps a bit less weight.

Um, yes, well, you're right about that. Thanks for the gentle reminder, Jack. And when you and Lynn jump with me, I want whatever feedback I can get from you both...however it comes.

I have a bad tendency to take something and twist it around, and see how bad it was even if it wasn't; I think that may be showing up here. I've only had one mid-air clunk, and that was (I found out later) done on purpose to acclimate me to bodies in the air with me. So I suppose I'm pretty safe, and I do try to stay very aware of things, even when they're happening at 130 mph...

Jess, OARS is right, girl! I think 2way drill dives would be perfect for me.

Ed, thanks. I did have fun, even though I got lost in the sky. You did really well...you could'a grabbed Glen's foot from what I could see. I wanna do that!!!

Thanks, all. I do appreciate it. I think that frequency of jumps shall soon increase, and maybe then the performance anxiety will subside.

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

There are two ways that I've been taught to get to a formation. When there is a large distance, I've been taught to swoop to the formation. You need to know how to put on brakes so you don't run people over. The other is to arch more to get to the same level as the formation and then drive forward into your slot.

Hi Cora! Michele told me about you; hopefully, we'll meet someday! It's in all in the arch, baby!
By the way, Michele, it's obvious to me that Islandcool and Vectorboy love you and were happy to jump with you. If you're reading this ISLANDCOOL & VECTORBOY...HI GUYS!!!
I hope to jump with you two next time. Ask MJ in the 2-way camp how I did on Sunday!

[Islandcool 0]

Quote

Ed, thanks. I did have fun, even though I got lost in the sky. You did really well...you could'a grabbed Glen's foot from what I could see. I wanna do that!!!

I was gonna bite one of his toes but how unsanitary. Hey I'm used to having a foot in my mouth but of course it's usually mine.

Ed

[ladyskydiver 0]

Quote

Hi Cora! Michele told me about you; hopefully, we'll meet someday!

Looking forward to it.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[Islandcool 0]

Quote

ISLANDCOOL & VECTORBOY...HI GUYS!!!
I hope to jump with you two next time. Ask MJ in the 2-way camp how I did on Sunday!

Hell yeah we'll jump. Vectorboy is hella fun to jump with. zero pressure. The track dive and freefly jumps were great. 2-way camp is ultra neato. I did it a few weeks ago. Hopefully I'll do it again soon. Glad you liked it.

Ed

[Squeak 17]

Hey Chook,
This is my take on my inability to do good rel work consistantly.
I suffer the same anxiety as you and i constantly frustrate myself.
Then I remeber that even after 99 jumps I have been in the skydiving freefall game for 80 minutes in total.
How many sports in the world cna you master in 80 mintues.....Give UP

NONE, Nada Zip ZERO
So I tell myself, "hey dickhead, you been doing this for a little over an hour, your not supposed to be good at it yet." That helps me

I should on the other hand be a complete, friggin legend at packing, although I have only 99 jumps i seem to have about 7 days straight packing time, it takes me forever to pack my rigg and I never feel comfortable with it until it's open and flying right

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Tonto 1]

That pressure can be good, in that you want to be as good as you can be - or it can be bad when you overamp and muck up an otherwise good dive.

I still get it - last time on my 1st Birdman jump, but it went fine, as I thought it would. Sometimes, our fear is irrational, but still real. I had to do a full pre exit gear check on a fellow AFF I on jump run while the student looked on, as the I felt "something was wrong" I guess its what keeps us alive.

t

It's the year of the Pig.