blotdiva 0 #1 June 2, 2003 So you've done a few 8 ways and gone low on a 20 way or two. Now you want to know how to get on the cool dives - the big ways, the ones that end up as covers or centerfolds. Well, you're in luck today kids. I was once in your booties and now only a few years later I am a big way jumper. Today I'm gonna tell you how I did it. So sit back, grab a cold one, listen and learn. After I took out the base on my second 20 way I knew it was going to take extreme measures to get a slot on the upcoming 75 ways only two months away. Lucky me, the organizer was of the opposite sex. I hit on him hard. I'm incredibly good looking and well built; it was so easy. One weekend of attention and he was mine. Two weeks of insane passion and I had my slot on the 75 ways. So kids, lesson number one is to hit on the organizer and get in his/her pants if at all possible. Those 75 way attempts were a great learning experience. I was jumping with the big boys now, and that meant partying with the big boys too. I came armed with bottles of Patron and sacks of illegal substances. By Sunday morning everyone loved me. Even though I took out the base or docked hard enough to funnel the other side on every single attempt. Write this one down kids - lesson number two is "be the candyman." Sometimes it's hard to get an organizer to notice you. When I was doing some 100 ways I figured out the best way to make an organizer remember your name. I started by being late to every dirt dive. I know the organizer remembers my name since he had the other 98 people yelling it as I strolled up five minutes late sans jumpsuit. Messing around in the dirt dive is another fine way to get noticed - I like to dock in the wrong slot, then laugh hysterically when it's noticed. So there's lesson number three - get noticed on the ground. Lesson number four is possibly the most important one - getting noticed in the air. You may have heard some big way jumpers talk about being invisible. Well, they're full of it. An organizer isn't going to remember you if he doesn't see you! I find that red zone violations work well, as does docking with enough momentum to funnel the entire opposite side of the formation (this is especially effective toward the end of the skydive). I also wear bright colored jumpsuits and gear so I show up well on video. So there ya go, kids. That's the real deal, the secret stuff about big ways that no one ever tells you. Now you know. Keep the faith. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jceman 1 #2 June 2, 2003 So this is how it's going to be, huh? I don;t know if we will be able to survive the summer. Was the LO of that 75 way our good friend NipplBoy? Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diverdriver 7 #3 June 2, 2003 Troll, troll, troll your boat.....gently down the....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jceman 1 #4 June 2, 2003 QuoteTroll, troll, troll your boat.....gently down the....... Chris, I actually feel sorry for ********, this trolling expedition sure didn't net too many fish, did it? Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 273 #5 June 2, 2003 Quote I actually feel sorry for ********, this trolling expedition sure didn't net too many fish, did it? Sigh. You guys are no fun at all. I thought it was funny. Guess ya had to be there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #6 June 2, 2003 Lisa, I thought it was kind of funny too! maura Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ron 10 #7 June 2, 2003 Hell, I know people like this. They think if they sleep with the pros...It makes them good. These kind of people drop names like crazy...I was talking about this with JOEY JONES just last week. (sorry had to). But I really do know people like this...They use their phone book like a whos, who of skydiving, and insist on showing it to me...like I care. Oh well. Ron"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdctlc 0 #8 June 2, 2003 That was funny! A student of Nipplboy it sounds to me... Scott C."He who Hesitates Shall Inherit the Earth!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diverdriver 7 #9 June 2, 2003 QuoteQuote I actually feel sorry for ********, this trolling expedition sure didn't net too many fish, did it? Sigh. You guys are no fun at all. I thought it was funny. Guess ya had to be there. Sorry MODERATOR but I thought this was a topical forum and not TALK BAAAAAHHHHHHCK. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamsville 0 #10 June 2, 2003 You are forgetting that this is just the sort of thread that may degenerate in this way. |I don't drink during the day, so I don't know what it is about this airline. I keep falling out the door of the plane. Harry, FB #4143 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #11 June 2, 2003 QuoteThey think if they sleep with the pros...It makes them good. Sure...it's called skydiving experience by injection!---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 June 2, 2003 QuoteThey think if they sleep with the pros...It makes them good. This is the second rumor that I am spreading. The first rumor is that I am one of the pros. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #13 June 2, 2003 YOU'RE NOT? hahaha...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma 0 #14 June 3, 2003 Haaa...that one has me laughing at my (very dull) desk! Nice one Blotdiva..although it seems your highly refined sense of irony has been entirely bypassed by some. I thought the definition of a 'troll' was when it was *meant* to sound like she meant it? Emma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #15 June 3, 2003 usually in topical forums the definition of a troll is anyone that posts to provoke a response from the general reader base other than what is typical and desired by the moderators and/or owner of the board. In this case the poster, thought it would be timely to add some humor/off topic banter to the forum, and by doing so thus became a "troll". --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma 0 #16 June 3, 2003 'other than what is typical and desired by the moderators and/or owner of the board' Sorry, I thought a humorous and ironic post would be seen as desirable? 'Trolls' are usually disguised and intended to be taken seriously so as to wind people up. I don't think this was. Unless you have a very limited sense of humour and take everything VERY SERIOUSLY. No-one was actually wound up by this? Shouting 'troll' when something is obviously not meant to be serious is hardly a great coup, is it? Emma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #17 June 3, 2003 I think posting "TROLL!" is more an attempt to deflect the humor from destroying the "topicalness" of the entire forum. It's a veiled statement that in this board's case means, "keep that shit in talkback". --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma 0 #18 June 3, 2003 Sorry, did not realise 'General Skydiving Discussions' had such rigid topic criteria! Oops... My mistake... Mind you, makes a change from the days in the past where anyone said anything a little 'iffy' and they were besieged by cries of 'take that sh*t to .rec!' I think this post IS relevant for 'general skydiving discussions' myself - in fact, satire is an effective vehicle for raising salient and/ or disturbing issues, wouldn't you say? The salient issues here, are, of course, the covert politics which operate around major bigways. Doesn't that fit the topic interest of this forum rather well? I mean, every other specific 'skydiving' subject already has another forum - aint this fairly general? Real 'trolls' are supposed to get people wound up and this wasn't intended that way so you can't call it a troll... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #19 June 3, 2003 I agree, that's why I never called it a troll. I simply defined troll for you. I think the post was slightly silly, as well. --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma 0 #20 June 3, 2003 Hmmm...but I could swear you said, 'In this case the poster, thought it would be timely to add some humor/off topic banter to the forum, and by doing so thus became a "troll". ' ...er...ok, so you AREN'T saying this is a troll then? Or ARE you? Off-topic is not the same as a troll. And humour does not equal 'troll' either! Trolls are intended to deceive... Why do you think the post is silly anyway? Don't you think she makes some relevant points in the way she pokes fun at bigway BS politics? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #21 June 3, 2003 Although I hate this phrase, let me just say I was playing "devil's advocate" and went along with the original cries of TROLL. I disagree with you that a troll is restricted to decieving. Case in point, a forum I used to frequent would be "trolled" by a poster repeating, "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" dozens of posts in a row. This is not meant to decieve, this is meant to cause a stir. Further, I think the people that first stated that this poster was a troll misinterpreted her intentions. I think given the situation, we could all chuckle over this post, I know I did, and I don't have ANY big way experience! Anyways, I'm too bored, and should probably take my original advice to "take that shit to talkback"!!! --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma 0 #22 June 3, 2003 Ok, well, I wouldn't call that trolling, I'd call it flooding or spamming...but who cares about the semantics really eh? Looks like we are BOTH bored and have nothing better to do than argue the finer points of internet etiquette! LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
