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CantJumpYetSNG

I need serious advice.

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Ok, I'm 16 and I can't jump yet but my dad does. He loves it. It gives him time to be himself and relieve stress. The problem is that he and my mom don't agree on it. You see she is very well educated about the sport, she even worked in the office of the drop zone dad and i go to. My father is so upset about some of the things she says about him and how he has been since he started jumping. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Do you have any advice for him or even me?

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I know this sounds awful to say, and you want to help, but this is really really something between your parents. It's awful, though, when your parents fight about something. I used to hate it. And it's just as bad when they're not fighting but not talking.

Jumpers can get consumed with jumping, and leave behind parts of their "old" lives -- that's hard on the people who are parts of their old lives. It doesn't always happen, though. And sometimes people really don't like change, and the way that people change when they release a piece of themselves from control. And so they fight that. They want the old life back.

So what am I saying? Still, mostly, that this is between your parents. Your mom probably feels as though she's given jumping an honest chance; your dad probably really does feel released when he jumps. Which means that the years before he wasn't getting a release that turned out to be important, but your mom had no way of knowing that most likely. It's not her fault, it's not his fault.

The one thing I'd do would be to make sure that you are part of the family -- don't let what you need (be it parents at sporting events you're part of, plays, shopping, whatever) get lost because you're trying to make it easy on them. They both love you, always.

If you want to talk offline, holler -- I'm just a mom, divorced, with a 19-year-old son who knows that both of his folks love him enough to work together on stuff. And he'll tell you that's really important. You deserve to have them work together in ways they can for you.

You can't ever change another person. You can only change yourself. But if you change yourself too much for someone else, then it's not you any more. And that's hard.

Wendy W.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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[QUOTE]The one thing I'd do would be to make sure that you are part of the family [/QUOTE]

Excellent advice!!! I would add try to sit down with your parents and have a serious discussion about it (maybe ask them when would be a good time to discuss it so theyre not distracted, etc?). If that doesn't work just wait a few years, parents usually slacken way up around 19-20. Good luck bro the sky will be waiting for you! :)

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let my inspiration flow,
in token rhyme suggesting rhythm...

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I wanted to add - if you dont already know how, why dont you go out to the DZ with your dad and learn how to pack/maintain parachutes. If your mom is dead set against you jumping maybe at least you can get a job packing sport parachutes and make some extra cash and get a lot of practical knowledge from a wide base of people. Anywho, good luck! :)

---------------------------------------------
let my inspiration flow,
in token rhyme suggesting rhythm...

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