Entertaining Read...

[Kris 0]

26 Reasons You should Tandem Jump at SLV

1. Since 1991 SLV's "State of the Art" SkyDiving Environment has defined Quality, & Professionalism, therefore SLV has No Competition by comparison.
2. Only SLV has a "First Timers" Complete Satisfaction Money Back Guarantee.
3. SLV is the Number #1 SkyDive School in the U.S. , averaging 15,000 Jumps annually.
4. SLV is the Oldest SkyDiving School in NV, celebrating our 12th Anniversary.
5. SLV is the Closest SkyDive School to Las Vegas, 18-mile, 25-minute drive South-East.
6. Only SLV Lands Parachutes on Airport Property, not 5-miles away in the desert
7. Only SLV has an Awesome Spectacular View including Hoover Dam, the Colorado River, Lake Mead, the Strip Casinos, Mt. Charleston, Red Rock Canyon, Valley of Fire, & 4 States.
8. Only SLV has the Fastest Climbing Jump Airplane in the Country, a Cessna Super-Turbine Caravan.
9. Only SLV has the option of taking your complete group of 7 Jumpers on the same Airplane.
10. Only SLV's Airplanes have Newer, Bigger, & Up-Graded Engines & Propellers to ensure "Top Floor" Jump Altitudes are reached.
11. Only SLV can take you to 15,000’msl, for the highest exit altitude in the United States, where you’ll freefall for 60 seconds at 120mph..
12. Only SLV guarantees Your Exit Altitude. If you Pay for 15,000'msl, you get 15,000'msl.
13. Only SLV offers FREE Ground Training, and a FREE Shuttle Van.
14. Only SLV's Shuttle Van returns you to your Hotel when your Group has Jumped, not at the End of the Work Day.
15. Only SLV has the Most Experienced Staff, with a history of 150,000 great Student Jumps.
16. Only SLV has 12 Licensed Jump Masters, over 40 Tandem Rigs, and multiple Airplanes.
17. Only SLV uses FAA Master Parachute Riggers to maintain SkyDiving Equipment.
18. Only SLV is open Full Time, 8am until 3pm, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.
19. Only SLV's Airplanes use FAA TRACON for Flight Monitoring & Radar Guidance.
20. Only SLV has a Custom-Built 7,000' sq. Air-Conditioned Office/Hangar Complex.
21. Only SLV offers Customers more Options of Price, Altitude, Transportation, and Cameraman.
22. Only SLV is 10-minutes away from the Lake Mead National Recreation Area, Jet-Skiing, River-Rafting, Speed Boat Rentals, Natural Hot Springs, and many other Touristy Attractions.
23. Only SLV has Never had any Student Fatality or Major Injuries.
24. Only SLV doesn't charge your Credit Card Deposit unless you don't give timely notice of Cancellation.
25. The US ARMY & USAF Special Forces choose to Train only at SLV.
26. Only SLV has the Best Weather Conditions of any Airport in Southern Nevada.

I particularly like the following:

#3 - Umm, doesn't SDC have this one beat?
#8 - Mullins' has offered to race him for pink slips.
#9 - Can you say Otter, Casa, or Skyvan? I thought you could.
#11 - There's a DZ in CA that does 18K tandems.
#15 - I can think of several other DZ's with more expereinced I's.
#16 - This is just asinine.
#17 - Nope, not true either.
#18 - Neither is this one.
#21 - sigh....Kids these days.
#25 - Now this one pisses me off...Skydive Raeford anyone?

I thought someone else might get some chuckles from these gross inaccuracies.

Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and
Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™

[piisfish 140]

Quote

6. Only SLV Lands Parachutes on Airport Property, not 5-miles away in the desert

I didn't know that all US DZ's were only 5 miles away from teh desert

27. Only SLV is in Boulder
28. Only SLV will not accept skydivers from other places

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[bozo 0]

Quote

Quote

6. Only SLV Lands Parachutes on Airport Property, not 5-miles away in the desert

I didn't know that all US DZ's were only 5 miles away from teh desert

27. Only SLV is in Boulder
28. Only SLV will not accept skydivers from other places

You guys are forgetting the most important thing.

Only SLV has Mikey Hawkes.


bozo

bozo
Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars.

[ChrisL 2]

How about

"Only SLV has legal prostitution so close to the DZ"

__

My mighty steed