The REAL Pond Swoop 2004 article

[KillerKimmy 0]

Yup, editing seems to involve taking words out of my original and adding
complete sentences that I didn't write. Even the title isn't mine, so I thought you'd like to see the real deal. Enjoy.


Where it all Began


Aaahhh, Picture a typical friday morning at the Ranch. . . Various skydivers picking up beer and water bottles strewn about. . Any fan that works is aimed at sopping wet canopies and rigs. . . And Sonic is pushing a lawn mower around the pond, keeping the wet blades of grass closely manicured for swoopers. Well, thats an exception, but no job is too small when your DZ is hosting the Ranch Pond Swooping meet of 2004.
Yes the Princess is back, and though a few competitors tried to avoid her grasp by coming up just shy of the water, she got them all wet in the end. A total of 44 skydivers registered for the event this year to place in 2 rounds of carving, 2 of inlane, freestyle, target, expression rounds, then finally the raft. The swoopers hailed from states all over the U.S., including Hawaii, and from Canada to test the waters in Gardiner, New York. Why? Because the Ranch is where it all began!
No "glacial hue" in our clear spring water this year. Swoopers were content to skim that dank, muddy liquid for points regardless of it's color, texture, or varying density. Pond rigs scattered across the grass to dry, left a rank odor in the heavy, humid air on Friday. The weather was sticky, but nonetheless, smiling faces were everywhere to be found. Getting a chance to swoop the Ranch's Pond for a shot at $10,000 in cash prizes was enough to keep big toothy grins on every competitors face.
Role call friday morning was scheduled for 8am. Thats 8:45 Ranch time. As tardy competitors made their way to the pond area, some forgetting their rigs, and some on "borrowed" bicycles they found lying about, they were jolted from sleep walking by the sound of the Otter starting up. "Pond Swoopers load A, you're on a 5 minute call."
During the pre-competition briefing, chief chow judge, Bruce Chapman stated sincerely to all swoopers that he hates to flag a chow. However as the first round of swoopers aimed at the pond, we feared he'd suffer wrist problems from all of that waiving. Luckily the competitors' performance increased as the early morning stiffness was rubbed out. Each of the onlookers and skydiver alike had no idea that some of the most exciting and original swoops were yet to come!
Gary Collingwood. . . Chow! Oren Peri. . . Chow! Clint Clawson. . . Chow?!? Well I guess Sonic's idea worked. That kryptonite he submerged in the pond did it's job and took out Clint. Clawson has won over $14,000 at Ranch competitions to date. He has owned that pond for 2 consecutive years. Finally it was time for some other swoopers to step into the limelight. Jay Moledski swooped a 39 out of 40 in round 2 of carving. Some of the up and comers used the inlane and carving rounds to establish themselves as contenders during the meet. Nick Boyd, swooping an Icarus Extreme VX had an impressive showing with 28 out of 40 points in his first carving round. Lars Margolies, tearing it up with his Katana also had a strong showing in that round scoring 26 points. Both held their own in their first pond swoop meet against some big time swoopers.
Mocking comments were spewed constantly through a scratchy sound system from a chubby guy in sunglasses and a blonde in a silly hat. Levent Bayrasli and Georgie Pullman broadcast the action to everyone within earshot. However the swoopers continued to execute moves with precision, despite the punches being taken at their egos. Jefro had 39 out of 40 points during round 1 of inlane swooping, and scored a perfect 40 out of 40 in round 2.
Saturday became a wash filled with low clouds, drizzle, and complaints about the choices for the freestyle round. The moves from the draw were as follows: A crane crossup (bending a knee like in Karate Kid, and then crossing your legs) that could earn you 2 difficulty points. A Lazyboy "T" (swooping in on your back, coming up, and forming a "T" with one leg horizontal) worth 6 difficulty points. Then finally the most "impossible" of moves, a wingover ghost rider (the canopy's stabilizer touches the water, and then the swooper continues without touching the controls) for 10 points. Even Clint Clawson, went on about how impossible that move was to execute. Competitors agreed with that statement, but a few made comments that a few years ago, the blind man (twisting the risers so you're flying backwards) couldn't be done. All anyone could do was wait and see what the swoopers would come up with.
The competitors took a leave until 12 that afternoon where they met under the Great Hall to discuss the continuation of the meet. Yet again it was decided to break until 4pm. The rain came down enough to fill the pond another 1-2 feet. The floating foam targets sunken with precision on friday by Leland Bendel, Oren Peri, Tigger, and Clint, were now submerged with no slack left in their attaching lines. No more verticals for swoopers like John Kieran and Pia McFarland. They commented that the pond was now coming to them and they'd swoop it with force. Anyone could swoop no matter where they were on the DZ. Jake Kilfoyle from Hawaii grabbed the surfboard and actually paddled from the pond to the P's across the grass! After the second break, more rain, and a slight draining of the pond, it was decided to call it a day. But of course a few minutes afterward, the clouds decided to clear. Even the pilots wondered why they stopped swooping. It was just as well since everyone was in need of some quiet time to think about the freestyle move they'd choose for tomorrow.
The auction on saturday night was a riot. Relieving skydivers of the stress weighing down on their shoulders, and dollars weighing down in their pockets, Sonic raised $9638.22 that went towards the prize money. The Ranch Parachute Club kicked in for the rest. Among the items auctioned, Jefro donated a Pro-Track, Heidi Eklund gave hours of Shiatsu body work away, and Andy Farrington handed over a used sweatshirt. The shirt raised a ruckus that had the crowd in stitches. Turns out Sonic and his wife Donna fought tenaciously for the item that ended at $80.
Upon reaching the pond sunday morning, we were down to one Otter, then just the Cessna. Since the other planes that the Ranch owns were under repair, Billy Richards came home early from vacation to fly the competitors in his helicopter. During the freestyle round, Jason Eames surprised us all by completing the wingover ghost rider. Everyone ran scared at the idea of the most difficult compulsory move but he pulled it off. Out of 3 people attempting it, Jason, Scott Andrews, and Sonic, Jason was the only one to squeeze it out. Jeff Provenzano did quite well on sunday, but few know he enjoyed himself immensely during and after the BBQ saturday evening. He was up all night puking from food poisoning. Jeff pushed himself to feel better on sunday, however, and continued the meet. He filled the whole event with solid swoops on his part. Lets hope Jeff's stomach problem wasn't a reaction to the weenies and patties he glommed the previous night.
You thought firearms were illegal at the Drop Zone? Not at the Ranch. Andy Farrington of Team Chaos, expressed himself during his swoop by shooting other competitors with his revolvers. Francisco Neri, from the PD Factory Team and Clint Clawson of Icarus' Team Extreme were among the victims devastated by the attack. Way to terrorize the judges for points! Andy came away winning that round. Hans Paulson swam in a Superman Ghostrider that Sonic has deemed the Save The Manatee move. Shannon Pilcher got 39 points for executing the first quad-move ever seen! Performing a Lazyboy, Ghost Rider, Superman and Switchblade in that order, he left the audience in awe! Mr. "Thats Impossible" Clint Clawson swooped out a Blindman and landed it. . . Backwards! You did it, you name it! Clint entitled his move the "Boo Boo Kitty F*ck".
The raft round was the finale of the meet. In 2002, out of 72 people, only 2 scored points for landing on the raft. This year, 11 out of 44 scored for hitting the plastic pond lily. John Tagle would have had 3rd place going into the last round, but he bumped himself past Andy Farrington into 2nd because of the 30 points he gained on the raft. Dave Hebert was another swooper scoring on that raft with 30 out of 50 points. Pat Heaney's impressively dry landing was predicted by at least one competitor. When he was asked who he thought would hit the raft, Nick Boyd replied "Pat Heaney is just odd enough to do it." "He is tweaked in the head. . . In a good way" commented another skydiver. Being the last jumper from the plane, he stood on the floating rectangle, stowed his lines, and gathered his canopy in time to be escorted from the raft by canoe to dry land netting himself the highest score in that round.
By sunday evening, everyone was ready to hear the final placement scores. Pia McFarland came in dead last winning herself a free dinner with the 1st through 3rd place winners. Lars Margolies won the Warrior of the Water award. . . By the way, if anyone sees Tree, tell him to send the hat back to the Ranch for Lars. Gravity Pirates Paul O'Farrel and John Zuliani took the crowd with a nice pair swoop in the canopy expression round. These Canadian National Freefly champions have been accepted onto the Canadian National Swooping Team. Paul placed 8th along with Sonic in the Ranch meet this year. When asked what his thoughts were, Paul replied "Sonic has always been my hero. It's an honor to tie with him. " Finally the money was ready to be handed over. Andy Farrington took 3rd with $2,000, Jonathan Tagle won 2nd pocketing $3,000 in cash, and Jeff Provenzano earned first place and $5,000. Out of everyone left at the Ranch on Sunday, 100% said they had a great time and would come back again.
A big thanks goes to the competitors for sticking around and having fun until the end. Thanks to the Ranch for sponsoring the event along with companies like Velocity Sports Equipment, Aerodyne Research, The Ranch Pro Shop, Performance Designs, The Ranch Progressive Flight School, Flite Suit Company, Larson and Brusgaard, and Airtec. Our thanks to the many volunteers and competitors, most of which walked away with a shirt, a towel and some of the coolest paper wrist bands I've ever seen. The Punisher worked super hard setting up the swoop lanes without which, we would have quite a dull meet. Thanks to the angry lifeguards around the pond headed by Disgruntled Eric Finn. If they hadn't taken care of business, there'd be a lot less swoopers around. Dave Gifford (meet director), Tom Buchanan (chief judge), TJ Langran, Jack Tepper, and Dave Mattia worked hard as judges to score in favor of all competitors. Donna Marshall Bayrasli took it upon herself this year to do everything that needed doing for the meet. She definitely earned her free meal on Saturday night which was given by Miracle Mike and Julie McLean. Those all American hot dogs, hamburgers, and beans won't be forgotten. . . Especially by those swoopers who flew on load one sunday morning.
Send Vadims tiny pics and tell nancy that the pics are on the way via mail on a disk.

[diablopilot 2]

Cool, but it's "Team Xaos".......Don't always believe spell check.

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You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.