Dead Friends List

[GraficO 0]

As some of my closer friends know... every year on October 25th I go out for a nice dinner and a good bottle of scotch and toast all of the people (good and bad) that have influenced my life in one way or another.

Part of that list are the friends that are subject only to fond memories.

Just my way of thanking the people who have done me right and those who have done me wrong. It doesn't matter whether did something terrible or not... I just thank those people for the lessons learned.

My "list" grows and will continue to do so but I will keep jumping... it's not the loss of life it's the life lost in the process if you don't experience it and take hold. Time never stands still.

After doing work for the Rob Harris Foundation and talking with Bea (his mom) on a fairly regular basis, I am repeatedly reminded through her tears even to this day that we get nowhere without taking risk and regardless of consequence there is always someone out there that loves us regardless of what we choose to do and so very deeply.

I thank her and the rest of the Harris clan for teaching me that...

GraficO

GraficO

"A Mind is a terrible thing to taste."

[tbrown 26]

I'm appalled at mine, it's out over 25 names and I keeping remembering more people, "oh yeah, him/her too". Fortunately most of these people are from the old days and have been dead and gone for twenty years or more, so time has helped to let go of them, just like it's helped me let go of a brother who died of cancer. So far in the new days, nobody I really know in my circle of friends, though this awful week has been giving me a feeling like glass slivers in an old wound.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[Judit 0]

My list is far too long for the amount of time i've spent in this sport but as they say: "Everybody who lives will die but not everybody who dies lived". At least these people truly lived, were very much loved and will never be forgotten. Nowadays i have the shivers when i log on to dz.com and can just pray please NO MORE!!!!! But I know it's the nature of life...

Fly free my dear friends and all of you still here please be careful! xx

Take risks not to escape life but to prevent life from escaping

[ChasingBlueSky 0]

For me the list is already too long. You figure after a while you would learn how to deal with it; learn what is the best way to cope and heal.....but you don't. The helplessness of death has only left me with more questions and confusion than anything else. I try to remember the happy moments that made that person who they were. However, the bitter end of their journey tends to way too heavy on me. This has me wondering where my own journey is headed and the meaning of it.

Growth from death is something that happens by default, even if it isn't fully positive. You will be changed by the impact of it. But will you have control of it or will it control you? Since day one I knew the dangers of this sport and accepted it for myself. I just can't accept it for those that I consider friends.

I've done what I can. I don't let their memories die. If mistakes were made, I learn from it and teach it to others. We turned Team Funnel from a fun group of friends into something that promoted a culture of safety....and I've seen it continue even in my absence.

I miss skydiving even thou I've only been gone just over a year. Returning to the sport has been something I've wanted for a while now. Seeing my friends again and helping TF grow even more is something I think about almost on a daily basis. However, coming back to DZ.com this week has caused me to question if I want to do that or not....and if I want to pull the sale of my gear. But I can't knock the feeling that I am missing out on a huge part of my life.

_________________________________________
you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me....
I WILL fly again.....

[skybytch 273]

Thanks for posting your thoughts, everyone.

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The sport is still worth it though. I have too much family here to quit..

I'm with you on the too much family here bit. Me not jumping won't stop my friends from dying. I've accepted that. I'm wililng to take the risk of losing the friends I have now in exchange for the memories and the things they've taught me.

But I'm not sure that I'm willing to get close to any more jumpers. And I don't know that the sport is worth putting my family through the pain that would come if I die jumping.

I've always kinda scoffed at people who quit jumping after someone they knew died. Not anymore. I'm starting to think that maybe we can't really understand why they quit until we're at that point.

[SkyDivinRyan 0]

very well said

[apoil 0]

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Thanks for posting your thoughts, everyone.

But I'm not sure that I'm willing to get close to any more jumpers. And I don't know that the sport is worth putting my family through the pain that would come if I die jumping.

What you are talking about now has nothing to do with skydiving. It has to do with dealing with loss.

Many people stop getting close to other people after getting their heart broken, or losing a loved one to disease.

There's the deeper question of what it really means to be alive which ties to why we jump in the first place. The route you are contemplating might reduce the chance of pain in the future, but it also cuts off something. And that something is part of what makes life worth living.

As to the pain you might put others through if you die, here's two things:

1) Don't fucking die skydiving. Seriously. Stay sharp and do everything you can to not let it happen. Learn from every incident and don't repeat the mistakes of others.

2) While it will be painful, how do you want to be remembered? As that person that was so passionate about life that she lived it to the extreme and took risks or as that person who was always safe and nothing ever really happened to her. Most families of skydivers have already come to terms with the possibility. If not, they will. They are your family - they share some of your genetic traits - they WILL understand. If you are talking about your extended skydiving family, they know that the risk of pain and loss are part of the full spectrum of experiences in life.