skydivings impact on your relationship

[fpritchett64 0]

I greatly appreciate all the advise and info I've received so far, you're all really helping out a bunch. It's a really confusing moment in life right now, it was mentioned earlier in the thread that it may be more of a jealousy issue. I believe you're right. I can barely hang out with friends without her getting upset about it. I have managed to balance it out somewhat with spending time with her and skydiving. I have to spend all day Saturday with her for the most part. Then I head to the DZ first thing Sunday morning, first load usually takes off around 9:30, it's about an hour drive for me. I have to promise her that I'll be back by 12:00, or I start getting yelled at. All of you know an hour and a half is barely enough at a dz to get 1 jump in, let alone 2 or 3. I don't know, I guess we've got some serious issues to work out.

[NewGuy2005 53]

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I have managed to balance it out somewhat with spending time with her and skydiving. I have to spend all day Saturday with her for the most part. Then I head to the DZ first thing Sunday morning, first load usually takes off around 9:30, it's about an hour drive for me. I have to promise her that I'll be back by 12:00, or I start getting yelled at.

You call that balancing it out??

[fpritchett64 0]

Not really, but you know what they say, if she aint happy, aint nobody happy.

[NewGuy2005 53]

I've been married 20 years and I can promise you it will never be easier to resolve this issue than it is right now. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.

[Richards 0]

My wife is terrified with the idea of me jumping. Since we married I have taken some time away from the sport due to the stress it causes her when I jump. Don't get me wrong, I am not one who subscribes to the old "You have a better chance of....than dying skydiving" propaganda....I realize that it is a risky sport but I feel that she has an overly inflated perspective on the risk particularly since I am a very safety conscious jumper. That said she is not a controlling person and will let me go if I really want to but it really upsets her so I am on a temporary hiatus until I can change her perspective.

Wish me luck.

Richards.

My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

[peregrinerose 0]

You can't change her perspective. Not a single thing you say will alter her perception of skydiving. I know... I was the same way, and my husband was the same as you... very rarely jumping. He never tried to talk me into it or change my views. But I also noticed how longingly he would look at a beautiful blue sky some days, so I decided to give it a whirl myself. After my first jump course, I was ok with him jumping, just because of the education I received during the course. I didn't plan on getting addicted to it myself... I planned on 'just that one jump to see what it's like...'

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[JohnMitchell 16]

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My wife once said "I have no interest in expensive and dangerous sports thank you very much". It just so happens that I love my wife more than I love skydiving, so no biggie!

So did you quit skydiving?

[JohnMitchell 16]

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for me. I have to promise her that I'll be back by 12:00, or I start getting yelled at. All of you know an hour and a half is barely enough at a dz to get 1 jump in, let alone 2 or 3. I don't know, I guess we've got some serious issues to work out.

Is this a girlfriend or wife?

If girlfriend, I'd find a new one.

If wife, I'd have to find a counselor.

Sounds like she's a little possesive or intense or controlling.

[MarianS 0]

I am glad my SO doesn't want to come to the DZ with me. I'ts my time alone with friends, kind of like the gym.
Last time I was there, I got hurt and if he had been there, all I would have heard was "I told you so." and he would have been freaking out.
Turns out I am OK...just have to heal. Chiropractors can really turn a sprained ankle around if you get to them in time....FYI. So, he doesn't know I am hurt, and I have been able to hide it from all wuffo friends and family. Thank God...
He likes the fact that I am happy and energetic.
We don't talk about my last AFF jump unless he asks,and he asks less and less.....That's OK with me. This has gotten to be a personal thing with me,
I rarely share my experiences with anyone now, and that is hard for me since I am just now getting into the really fun part of my AFF training and I love to talk about it. You all know what I mean, right?......barrel rolls and all...next come back amd frot loops... whoo hoo!!!!
I think we will be OK as long as I keep this low key and he thinks that he is LETTING me do it. LOL!!
Can you relate, girls???
Can't wait to get back to the DZ!!!

[ockers 0]

Biased point of view here from a bloke whose SO is also freestyle team partner.

You need to sort your stuff out ASAP. Personally I would tell her to sort out her attitude or fu(k off.

[tomvailco 0]

I'm a newbie too, but screw that giving up skydiving for your girl. That's crazy talk

[Joellercoaster 6]

It may be that black and white for some, but not others.

I gave up skydiving for two years, first because it was conflicting money-wise with my SO and I saving to travel, and then because she had other problems with it (some money-related as well).

It probably contributed some small amount to our breakup, but our breakup contributed to me getting back into jumping - which is where I realised my heart and mind had been the whole time.

A year later, she and I are still in touch, and she says that had she known what a profound effect it would have on me she never would have stood in the way of my skydiving. She's even come out to the DZ to hang out (leading of course to all my jumper mates thinking she's wonderful, trying to get her to do AFF/get back together with me/whatever).

I still don't know if I would unilaterally rule out leaving skydiving for a woman again, but I think it's pretty damn unlikely.

Dating jumper girls, though, that's a whole 'nother proposition and a whole 'nother thread...

[edit: Mostly 'cause I'm with BannanaGirl on the "Happy Place" thing. The DZ is mine too, and I need it to stay that way.]

--
"I'll tell you how all skydivers are judged, . They are judged by the laws of physics." - kkeenan

"You jump out, pull the string and either live or die. What's there to be good at?

[fpritchett64 0]

I feel that's exactly what's going on here, she's standing in the way of my skydiving.

Take this for example:
-Yesterday afternoon I discussed with her what her work schedule was this weekend. She has to work Saturday from 12 to 5, we only have one mode of transportation, so with that and her job being on the way to the DZ in mind, I would go to the DZ either Saturday from 12 to 5 or I wanted to spend all day Sunday at the DZ, which she is off that day, so she said hell no.

I would love more than anything to be able to spend all day at the DZ, this is what is paying for my jumping for the most part, I usually pack as much as possible for the DZO and the money I make is taken off of my jumps, still trying to get to my "A" I have 21 jumps and only need 4 or 5 more to get my proefficiency card finished up. However, at the rate I'm going with opportunities to jump, it will be another 2 months before I hit that mark.

[BannanaGirl 0]

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I still don't know if I would unilaterally rule out leaving skydiving for a woman again, but I think it's pretty damn unlikely.

Give me a break dude! You would never ever date someone who would expect you to give skydiving up. Done it once, learnt a lesson and you are way too smart for that BS.

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Dating jumper girls, though, that's a whole 'nother proposition and a whole 'nother thread...

Oh hunny....and you know how I feel about you don't you?

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[edit: Mostly 'cause I'm with BannanaGirl on the "Happy Place" thing. The DZ is mine too, and I need it to stay that way.]

It's only happy cause we make it that way. Start throwing in complicated realtionships and we're all screwed. Free love and beer is all we need!

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The DZ is mine too,

But you are a territorial little so and so Mr Coaster. The DZ is actually mine.