Funniest / most embarrassing first jump reaction

[pilatus_p 0]

When I originally started doing static line (before discovering AFF - phew) I was bricking myself for my first jump. I had once jumped off a cliff into the sea, and I'd done it by screaming at myself. Of course, I thought "this can work for parachuting".

Apparently I put the fear of god up the 4 other jumpers as my petrified wail rattled windows in the cessna. The jumpmaster nearly pissed his pants - at first in shock and then with laughter. The second time I accidentally slapped the JM. He shouted 'wanker' at me as my canopy opened.

Another girl froze in the door and had to go down with the plane, twice. The JM gave her one last chance. Here is a script of the attempt:

[after other jumpers have gone]

JM: "Number 5 - in the door"
Girl: " ......... "
JM "Number 5 - IN THE DOOR"
Girl: " ......... mmmphh wurble ..... "
JM: "This is your last chance - Don't make me come back there and chuck you out!"

JM moves towards number 5

Girl: "I'm not jumping!! Fu*k off you old c*nt!!"
JM: [reels in fear, then nods to himself] "(to pilot) take us down"

Fastest redline I ever saw on a DZ. Poor girl.

Must be some better stories than these though - any good recollections?

Ross

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

[councilman24 37]

Two sisters out to jump. Not the brightest bulbs but okay through course. Normal scared, nervous giggles. In 182 first is by the door and second is behind seat. I send the first one out. At this time we didn't hang from the strut but kept one foot one. I say "Go!" and she lets go with her hands, pinches her nose like she's jumping into a pool and pulls the fastest backloop I ever saw off the step. All's good but the pilot and I are laughing our heads off. I tell her sister she's fine, remind her to arch. I send her out. She does the exact same thing.

Almost laughing too hard to get the last student out.

I'm old for my age.
Terry Urban
D-8631
FAA DPRE

[piisfish 140]

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and she lets go with her hands, pinches her nose like she's jumping into a pool and pulls the fastest backloop I ever saw off the step. ..Almost laughing too hard to get the last student out.

but was that Static line ?? how does a bacloop go while staticlined , must be scary...

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[rushmc 23]

How about a tandem first jump story?

I am getting tandems students ready. 1st load is up. One lady on the ground (34 years old, two children and devorced) sees a tandem under canopy turning hard. She freaks, starts crying, won't look and completely looses it. I talk to her for a short while and I get her to look up again to see all is OK. Next tandem is now opening canopy. This pair has a camera flyer that keeps falling (of course) she looses it even worse this time. I talk to her the whole time while the Porter comes down. (by now I would have bet $100 she will not jump.

She gets in the plane, sticks her thumb in her mouth and twirls her hair all the way to altitude where, well lets just say I would have lost my money

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[councilman24 37]

Yep static line. Backloops were anything but rare for first jump students. Especially when we left them standing on the step. After about the mid 80's we had them hanging from handles on the strut. But even hanging if the student pushed off with their hands they could do a back loop.

Static line control and short lining if necessary took care of any issues most of the time. Some SL JM's would let go of the static line and let the plane pull it. I pulled them myself (still connected to approved plane anchor, of course). That way I could short line them if necessary. Most of the time the static line came off the side and the student just spun around it.

Just part of the fun of static line jumpmastering. There were a lot scarier things a student could do on a static line.

I'm old for my age.
Terry Urban
D-8631
FAA DPRE

[jtval 0]

anybody see Jimmy Halliday's AFV video?
Go check bonfire for the you tube link. (or jsutsearch you tube)

My photos

My Videos

[iowa 0]

So someone says, "Give her to Keith, he's good with the nervous ones."

I remember that one.

Keith

''Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.'' - Ernest Hemingway

[CSpenceFLY 1]

Mine is an after jump story.I was shooting video.The video was great,the jump went well and I was thinking this will be a good promotional video.I walk up right after they land and say "So,What did you think of that".The girl looks up and says,"I'm never doing that fucking shit again".


.

[Zing 2]

I remember that one. I flew the load and I'd have bet that she wouldn't jump (and lost the bet too). Landed the airplane, strolled over to get pictures of her landing and walked up just in time to see her toss her lunch and spit out that unforgetful line. Priceless.

Zing Lurks

[rushmc 23]

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So someone says, "Give her to Keith, he's good with the nervous ones."

I remember that one.

That is the one!!

How are you doing buddy?

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[Sockpuppet 0]

What I cant understand is why the instructor didnt jump?

If I was a TI/AFFi and a student refused to jump I'd say well its a shame to waste the altitude.

Bye.

------
Two of the three voices in my head agree with you. It might actually be unanimous but voice three only speaks Welsh.

[yardhippie 0]

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What I cant understand is why the instructor didnt jump?

If I was a TI/AFFi and a student refused to jump I'd say well its a shame to waste the altitude.

Bye.

What if only the pilot was left in the plane with that door wide open and the studen fell out or decided to exit of their own valition? its not like the pilot could drop the controls and drag the student back in.
its a responsibility thing. the instructor has a duty to ensure that student gets to the ground safely either by skydive or plane ride.

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[ladyskydiver 0]

When I was on student status, my instructors always told me that getting me to the ground safely was their priority and that even if I decided not to jump, they would land with me as their job wasn't complete until I was on the ground safely.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[Sockpuppet 0]

Quote

Quote

What I cant understand is why the instructor didnt jump?

If I was a TI/AFFi and a student refused to jump I'd say well its a shame to waste the altitude.

Bye.

What if only the pilot was left in the plane with that door wide open and the studen fell out or decided to exit of their own valition? its not like the pilot could drop the controls and drag the student back in.
its a responsibility thing. the instructor has a duty to ensure that student gets to the ground safely either by skydive or plane ride.

It all makes sense now...ok if I was a vidiot...

------
Two of the three voices in my head agree with you. It might actually be unanimous but voice three only speaks Welsh.

[popsjumper 2]

Definitive blonde moment:
Yes, she was a blonde....

Pumped about doing first skydive. Went up, came down.
After getting unharnessed she said, "I don't understand what just happened."

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[Revillusion 0]

Two young ladies were doing tandems, both on video. After the first girl landed, the video guy was getting the post jump interview, she was all full of excitement and giggles. While getting the interview, he directs attention to her friend who was preparing to land. Without skipping a beat she points at the other tandem pair and says "is that us?" Totally straight faced, the instructor replied "No, we already landed"

VIRTUS JUNXIT MORS NON SEPARABIT

[Zipp0 1]

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Quote

What I cant understand is why the instructor didnt jump?

If I was a TI/AFFi and a student refused to jump I'd say well its a shame to waste the altitude.

Bye.

What if only the pilot was left in the plane with that door wide open and the studen fell out or decided to exit of their own valition? its not like the pilot could drop the controls and drag the student back in.
its a responsibility thing. the instructor has a duty to ensure that student gets to the ground safely either by skydive or plane ride.

About 6 months before my first jump I did an observation flight in a 182 with a 3 way, sat in the student position wearing a parachute for emergency use only, watched them jump, and landed with the pilot. He was even nice enough to take me on a short flight to show me some cool ice formations on the river on the way back.

What is the difference in what I did and a student riding the plane down with the pilot? I knew that if I jumped or fell out of the plane I had a 99% chance of dying, so I was careful. I didn't feel abandoned, and had a nice chat with the pilot.

We are all adults with waivers on file. I say wave goodbye and jump.

--------------------------
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.

[pilatus_p 0]

hahaha

Are you sure she wasnt just boss-eyed?

Ross

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

[brianfry713 0]

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What is the difference in what I did and a student riding the plane down with the pilot? I knew that if I jumped or fell out of the plane I had a 99% chance of dying, so I was careful. I didn't feel abandoned, and had a nice chat with the pilot.

We are all adults with waivers on file. I say wave goodbye and jump.

Dude, 99% chance of dying, wearing a PEP? I think even an untrained person has better odds than that. Lots of non-skydiver pilots have survived bailing out of disabled aircraft. The mortality rate for those that bail out is much lower than 99%.

If the plane is going down, quickly weigh your odds of jumping, pulling a ripcord, and landing a round without killing yourself versus crashing in a metal coffin.

BASE 1224, Senior Parachute Rigger, CPL ASEL IA, AGI, IGI
USPA Coach & UPT Tandem Instructor, PRO, Altimaster Field Support Representative

[Zipp0 1]

Quote

Quote

What is the difference in what I did and a student riding the plane down with the pilot? I knew that if I jumped or fell out of the plane I had a 99% chance of dying, so I was careful. I didn't feel abandoned, and had a nice chat with the pilot.

We are all adults with waivers on file. I say wave goodbye and jump.

Dude, 99% chance of dying, wearing a PEP? I think even an untrained person has better odds than that. Lots of non-skydiver pilots have survived bailing out of disabled aircraft. The mortality rate for those that bail out is much lower than 99%.

If the plane is going down, quickly weigh your odds of jumping, pulling a ripcord, and landing a round without killing yourself versus crashing in a metal coffin.

OK, 20%. Whatever. I was not trying to state an exact statistic, but rather emphasizing my understanding that falling out or jumping from a functioning aircraft would be a very bad idea.

--------------------------
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.

[pilotdave 0]

I agree with you that leaving a student isn't usually a big risk, but it's very unprofessional. The instructor is there ONLY for the student, from gearing up to landing.

Plus, when they land, they're geared up and ready to take another student or get on another jump.

Also, I don't think instructors are allowed to jump without the supervision of a student. At least ya rarely see it happen...

Dave

[CSpenceFLY 1]

Quote

Quote

Quote

What I cant understand is why the instructor didnt jump?

If I was a TI/AFFi and a student refused to jump I'd say well its a shame to waste the altitude.

Bye.

What if only the pilot was left in the plane with that door wide open and the studen fell out or decided to exit of their own valition? its not like the pilot could drop the controls and drag the student back in.
its a responsibility thing. the instructor has a duty to ensure that student gets to the ground safely either by skydive or plane ride.

About 6 months before my first jump I did an observation flight in a 182 with a 3 way, sat in the student position wearing a parachute for emergency use only, watched them jump, and landed with the pilot. He was even nice enough to take me on a short flight to show me some cool ice formations on the river on the way back.

What is the difference in what I did and a student riding the plane down with the pilot? I knew that if I jumped or fell out of the plane I had a 99% chance of dying, so I was careful. I didn't feel abandoned, and had a nice chat with the pilot.

We are all adults with waivers on file. I say wave goodbye and jump.

When you are an instructor I guess you can do whatever you want till you get fired from the DZ.


.

[aykay 0]

On the way to height I was sitting at the back of the XL facing forward so I could see everyone face to face.

Now every now and then some one lets on rip in the plane. Fair enough. Except this time the smell lingered for a little bit too long.

Looking forward to the tandem master sitting up on the step making crazy eyes at his passenger who had dropped his entire load on the way to height.

Now thats ALL bad...

[pilatus_p 0]

hahaha this is one for the 'farting thread' - Flatulence at altitude!

Ewww poo in freefall ... must go up the trouser

Ross

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

[Orange1 0]

One of the funnier things I saw not too long ago was a FJ student land... then get out of his harness and leave the rig in the middle of the DZ while he waltzed back in! Don't know who he expected to go "clean up after him"!

Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.