SCS422 33 #1 Posted August 18 WASHINGTON, D.C. — The bloody years-long conflict between Ukraine and Russia was finally brought to an end this week, as President Donald Trump successfully negotiated a ceasefire between the countries by agreeing to give Vladimir Putin California. The deal was struck after several months of stop-and-start negotiations between the two sides mediated by Trump, with Russia finally agreeing to bring the hostilities to an end after being gifted the entire state of California as a substitute for the territory it coveted from Ukraine. "It's a great deal for every party involved," Trump told reporters when announcing the agreement. "I told everyone before that there would be some land changing hands as part of a ceasefire. Putin wanted something, and it needed to be good, so I said, ‘How about California? It's not what it once was, but it's not bad,' and he said he'd think about it. He called back later and said he'd take it. We're signing the papers tomorrow, believe it or not. Great deal. Ukraine gets peace, Russia gets California, and we don't have to deal with Governor Gavin Newscum anymore. Now he's Putin's problem." A spokesman for the Russian government confirmed the agreement. "It is good deal," the representative said. "We have need for land. We wanted Crimea and the Donbas, but California is ok. We hear the beach is nice. There are many tacos. We like tacos." At publishing time, Putin had reportedly ordered Russian military units to begin the process of clearing celebrities out of Hollywood to make California more inhabitable. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JerryBaumchen 1,489 #2 August 18 34 minutes ago, SCS422 said: WASHINGTON, D.C. — The bloody years-long conflict between Ukraine and Russia was finally brought to an end this week, as President Donald Trump successfully negotiated a ceasefire between the countries by agreeing to give Vladimir Putin California. The deal was struck after several months of stop-and-start negotiations between the two sides mediated by Trump, with Russia finally agreeing to bring the hostilities to an end after being gifted the entire state of California as a substitute for the territory it coveted from Ukraine. "It's a great deal for every party involved," Trump told reporters when announcing the agreement. "I told everyone before that there would be some land changing hands as part of a ceasefire. Putin wanted something, and it needed to be good, so I said, ‘How about California? It's not what it once was, but it's not bad,' and he said he'd think about it. He called back later and said he'd take it. We're signing the papers tomorrow, believe it or not. Great deal. Ukraine gets peace, Russia gets California, and we don't have to deal with Governor Gavin Newscum anymore. Now he's Putin's problem." A spokesman for the Russian government confirmed the agreement. "It is good deal," the representative said. "We have need for land. We wanted Crimea and the Donbas, but California is ok. We hear the beach is nice. There are many tacos. We like tacos." At publishing time, Putin had reportedly ordered Russian military units to begin the process of clearing celebrities out of Hollywood to make California more inhabitable. Hi Larry, That'll quiet the naysayers. I'm thinking the clincher to the deal must have been that letter that Melania wrote to Vladi. Jerry Baumchen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCS422 33 #3 August 18 (edited) I was laughing so hard when I saw this I just had to post it. Edited August 18 by SCS422 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCS422 33 #4 September 9 another little tidbit.... Navy Airdrops Public Defender Onto Drug Boat to Give Cartel Members Due Process “We’ve heard the outrage and we’re taking steps to do what’s right.” PRINTLISTEN THE BABYLON BEE MORE BY THIS AUTHOR GULF OF AMERICA — In a compromise intended to silence critics of the Trump Administration’s aggressive stance against drug traffickers, the U.S. Navy airdropped a public defender onto a drug boat to give cartel members due process. After a previous strike on a boat of Venezuelan drug runners ignited a furious debate over the legality of such an action without a fair trial, orders were given for the Navy to go the extra mile and allow a defense attorney to parachute onto a suspected cartel vessel to provide legal representation. “We’ve heard the outrage and we’re taking steps to do what’s right,” said Admiral Joseph Sternberger in a statement from the Navy. “To alleviate all of these arguments about foreign narcoterrorists being executed without ‘due process,’ we’ve adopted a policy of airdropping a public defender onto their drug trafficking boats to make sure we comply with whatever rights they are supposed to have. Or something like that. Whatever.” One public defender who was pressed into service expressed mixed emotions about the job. “I understand the need for people to have their voices heard from a legal standpoint,” said attorney Richard Lantz. “But, I don’t know… what are the chances of a drone strike happening while I’m on the boat? That’s not likely, right?” At publishing time, sources tied to the drug cartel said that the drug runners hoped that the legal representation would at least buy them enough time to make it to their destination so they could unload their cargo. From our friends at The Babylon Bee. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 916 #5 September 9 I could have sworn murdering civilians of another nation NOT at war with the attacker was considered a full out war crime. Good to see AmeriKKKa is in with the most violent, murdering, and hated nations on the planet. Impressive accomplishment from the Pedo POTUS. Might be the fast decimation of a nation in history. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
