Christmas Present

[johnhking1 100]

My wife got me chocolates for Christmas.  She put them in my stocking and "hung it by the chimney with care".

You can guess the rest.

[TriGirl 341]

I presume the chimney was being used to vent the smoke from the fire on the hearth at the time?  Otherwise it would be difficult to "guess the rest."

[lippy 918]

My best Christmas present this year was shooting a lizard out of a tree with a Nerf gun in Puerto Rico.  I wouldn't intentionally hurt an animal never figured I'd hit it, I was just playing with my nephew and goofing off...but from the moment that lizard took flight, I was the coolest motherfucking uncle that kid had ever seen.  

[JoeWeber 2,866]

16 hours ago, lippy said:

My best Christmas present this year was shooting a lizard out of a tree with a Nerf gun in Puerto Rico.  I wouldn't intentionally hurt an animal never figured I'd hit it, I was just playing with my nephew and goofing off...but from the moment that lizard took flight, I was the coolest motherfucking uncle that kid had ever seen.  

And still may be. It's all good, for all you know the bastard had it coming.

[johnhking1 100]

19 hours ago, TriGirl said:

I presume the chimney was being used to vent the smoke from the fire on the hearth at the time?  Otherwise it would be difficult to "guess the rest."

All the chocolates melted then I had a chocolate glob when they cooled/