Corporal Punishment

[airdvr 210]

I just spent the 4th with an extremely disrespectful, spoiled 7 year old grandson.  Had it been my kid he would have had his butt warmed on several occasions.  I understand that spanking is politically incorrect.  Interested to hear everyone's thoughts.

[gowlerk 2,259]

I never did and I don't believe it is effective. It is a hold over from the days of larger families when it would have been harder to keep them in line. Also too easy to go overboard once started.

[GeorgiaDon 379]

"Politically incorrect" is one way to put it.  That kind of glosses over the fact that part of the "lesson" is the idea that it's appropriate to use physical force and pain to compel someone to do your bidding.

Anyway I never had to beat my 3 kids and somehow they all turned out to be people I've very proud of.  They did have to be disciplined on occasion, but somehow we always found ways to impose consequences for bad behavior that didn't involve beating.

When I was a kid, discipline was often enforced by "spanking" with a wooden spoon, paddle, or other instrument.  I can't remember learning much from that, other than "don't get mom or dad mad".  Mostly mom, when dad got home from work he would be handed the paddle to administer the punishment, usually without much idea why.  I guess that was "normal" in those days.

[JoeWeber 2,857]

1 hour ago, airdvr said:

I just spent the 4th with an extremely disrespectful, spoiled 7 year old grandson.  Had it been my kid he would have had his butt warmed on several occasions.  I understand that spanking is politically incorrect.  Interested to hear everyone's thoughts.

It depends. Was he a liberal or conservative kid?

[wmw999 2,557]

I didn't answer, because I believe my son got 2 swats in his life. We used counting (which gave him time to reconsider his actions), and removing from the situation when he was too small to reason with. He, too, has turned out to be someone I'm very proud of.

I don't know what we would have resorted to if he had been a very oppositional child. I'd like to hope that it wouldn't have been spankings, but that's in the imaginary past.

Wendy P.

[airdvr 210]

I don't know where the line is drawn between discipline and outright beating.  I don't think I ever beat my kids.  A well time thunder hand to the backside to make sure they got the message.  And I don't think the message was don't piss me off but even if it was, it was don't do rude and disrepectful or you'll piss of dad.

[airdvr 210]

48 minutes ago, JoeWeber said:

It depends. Was he a liberal or conservative kid?

Hehe...liberal parents.

[JerryBaumchen 1,451]

7 minutes ago, airdvr said:

I don't know where the line is drawn between discipline and outright beating.  I don't think I ever beat my kids.  A well time thunder hand to the backside to make sure they got the message.  And I don't think the message was don't piss me off but even if it was, it was don't do rude and disrepectful or you'll piss of dad.

Hi airdvr,

Having been the subject of numerous beatings while growing up, I think I do.

My two kids never got more than one spank when, IMO it was deserved.

Before we had children, I read an article on child discipline that said to never spank a child with your hand as it makes the child fear you.  It said to always use an object [rolled up newspaper as one example], then the child fears that object.

I always used a wooden 12" ruler.  Eventually, I only had to say, 'I'm getting the ruler,' and they became good citizens.

Jerry Baumchen

[JoeWeber 2,857]

1 hour ago, airdvr said:

Hehe...liberal parents.

I knew it. I'll bet the little bastard was woke, too. You should have cuffed him.

[jakee 1,568]

3 hours ago, airdvr said:

I just spent the 4th with an extremely disrespectful, spoiled 7 year old grandson.  Had it been my kid he would have had his butt warmed on several occasions.  I understand that spanking is politically incorrect.  Interested to hear everyone's thoughts.

Spanking vs not spanking is clearly not the issue here.

[JoeWeber 2,857]

1 hour ago, JerryBaumchen said:

Hi airdvr,

Having been the subject of numerous beatings while growing up, I think I do.

My two kids never got more than one spank when, IMO it was deserved.

Before we had children, I read an article on child discipline that said to never spank a child with your hand as it makes the child fear you.  It said to always use an object [rolled up newspaper as one example], then the child fears that object.

I always used a wooden 12" ruler.  Eventually, I only had to say, 'I'm getting the ruler,' and they became good citizens.

Jerry Baumchen

I just hope the subject gets enough attention that we can start talking reparations.

[billvon 3,086]

3 hours ago, wmw999 said:

I didn't answer, because I believe my son got 2 swats in his life. We used counting (which gave him time to reconsider his actions), and removing from the situation when he was too small to reason with. He, too, has turned out to be someone I'm very proud of.

I don't know what we would have resorted to if he had been a very oppositional child. I'd like to hope that it wouldn't have been spankings, but that's in the imaginary past.

Wendy P.

Me - nope.  I think corporal punishment harms far more often that it helps.

[gowlerk 2,259]

The only place for spanking is in the bedroom or dungeon between consenting adults.

[JoeWeber 2,857]

1 hour ago, billvon said:

Me - nope.  I think corporal punishment harms far more often that it helps.

Bollocks. My 'ol man took the belt to me 2 or 3 times a month and I turned out perfect.

[Stumpy 284]

4 hours ago, airdvr said:

I don't know where the line is drawn between discipline and outright beating

No one does, which basically means there isn't one, so its best not to do it.
I was spanked a couple times as a kid, and it never did me any harm, HOWEVER was i a less emotionally stable/ adjusted kid, that might have caused me real problems. These days we understand this stuff much better and there are a myriad of ways to discipline children without beating them.

[gowlerk 2,259]

15 minutes ago, Stumpy said:

These days we understand this stuff much better and there are a myriad of ways to discipline children without beating them.

Changing the wifi password and threatening to withhold it should suffice in most cases.

[airdvr 210]

What would you do if your 7 year old child kicked you at the airport? (just happened yesterday)

[ryoder 1,590]

I chose "never" because, (to the best of my knowledge), I don't have any kids.

[Stumpy 284]

5 minutes ago, airdvr said:

What would you do if your 7 year old child kicked you at the airport? (just happened yesterday)

Withdraw privileges (or threaten to - which in the case of my kids is often enough). In terms of my 8 year old (close enough) that would generally mean device time.

My little one (4yo) is my challenge - he resorts to punching (usually his brother) when he's frustrated. His brother is usually winding him up. This issue is actually pretty much hero worship - he actually wants to be his brother and is frustrated when he can't compete/ keep up. It leads to some fairly reprehensible behaviour at times but I can't envisage hitting either of them ever being of any benefit.

Gratuitous kid pic. Sorry! 

[gowlerk 2,259]

1 hour ago, airdvr said:

What would you do if your 7 year old child kicked you at the airport? (just happened yesterday)

There just isn’t enough context in your question to say. And it’s unlikely you could give it if you tried. Most likely the behaviour is something that didn’t just happen randomly. Everyone is different and every child is different.

[yoink 321]

I’ve never deliberately spanked my son, but I’ve swatted him a couple of times in the heat of the moment and have regretted it both times. That is me failing as a parent.

There are far far FAR more effective parenting methods imo, but it does take more effort.

I also think Jakee hit the nail on the head - the kids who are really spoiled are the ones who act out. And that’s on the parents. Spank them.

 

Edit - the measurement of patenting is tough. Our kid is 5 and we continually get told by strangers that he's polite and well behaved. I don't think that's soley down to how we discipline him, but also down to how we educate him and how he sees us treat each other and people around us. It's not a simple equation. 

Edited July 8, 2022 by yoink

[JoeWeber 2,857]

1 hour ago, airdvr said:

What would you do if your 7 year old child kicked you at the airport? (just happened yesterday)

Tell him do as I say not as I do?

[yoink 321]

3 hours ago, JoeWeber said:

Bollocks. My 'ol man took the belt to me 2 or 3 times a month and I turned out perfect.

We REALLY need a sarcasm font.

[headoverheels 333]

4 hours ago, JoeWeber said:

Bollocks. My 'ol man took the belt to me 2 or 3 times a month and I turned out perfect.

Well, you did turn out a bit too much right wing.

 

[Baksteen 84]

15 hours ago, wmw999 said:

I didn't answer, because I believe my son got 2 swats in his life. We used counting (which gave him time to reconsider his actions), and removing from the situation when he was too small to reason with. He, too, has turned out to be someone I'm very proud of.

I don't know what we would have resorted to if he had been a very oppositional child. I'd like to hope that it wouldn't have been spankings, but that's in the imaginary past.

Wendy P.

I got spanked only once, when I was about ten-ish. A single smack on the bottom, not even that hard, but all the more shocking for the fact that it happened at all.

I clearly remember that even at the time I had to admit to myself that I really, really deserved it.