Columbia Professor who teaches NYPD and FDNY how to ease heated situations, slugged her boyfriend while he slept

[BillyVance 35]

http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/columbia-professor-charged-assaulting-boyfriend-article-1.2119232

Wow... a lady who teaches firefighters and cops how to handle domestic violence and flare-ups between people, as well as being a staunch defender of women's rights and critic of domestic violence, punched her boyfriend in the fucking face while he slept.

Ouch.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[turtlespeed 226]

BillyVance

http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/columbia-professor-charged-assaulting-boyfriend-article-1.2119232

Wow... a lady who teaches firefighters and cops how to handle domestic violence and flare-ups between people, as well as being a staunch defender of women's rights and critic of domestic violence, punched her boyfriend in the fucking face while he slept.

Ouch.

do as I say not as I do. It's academia, buddy, resistance is futile.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Andy9o8 2]

I'll take "Blame The Victim" for $500, please, Alex.

So this is a tough guy who was fired suspended as an NYPD cop for harrassing a woman by telephone. Mind you, we're talking the NYPD, so for them to cashier suspend him, he had to have been beyond bad. (So, naturally, the US Navy then hires him as a counter-terrorism analyst. Makes sense to me). He then cheats on his GF. And when she (yes, unlawfully...probably) slugs him for being a pig, instead of sucking it up and just leaving... he calls the cops on her. Waaaaahh!! She hit me! Waaaaahh! What a fucking hero.

If she goes to trial (though as a first offender she just might avoid prosecution with a pretrial diversion program), I look forward to her testimony about their relationship. From his history, I'll lay odds she'll testify that he was an abusive personality. We'll see.

Not very lawyerly of me, and No, I don't approve of domestic violence by either gender, but whatever. As a dad of daughters myself, I look at her as some other dad's daughter who got herself hooked up with a douchebag.

(ETA: changed fired and cashiered to suspended.)

[grue 1]

BillyVance

http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/columbia-professor-charged-assaulting-boyfriend-article-1.2119232

Wow... a lady who teaches firefighters and cops how to handle domestic violence and flare-ups between people, as well as being a staunch defender of women's rights and critic of domestic violence, punched her boyfriend in the fucking face while he slept.

Ouch.

Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach.

cavete terrae.

[grue 1]

Andy9o8

I'll take "Blame The Victim" for $500, please, Alex.

So this is a tough guy who was fired as an NYPD cop for harrassing a woman by telephone. Mind you, we're talking the NYPD, so for them to cashier him, he had to have been beyond bad. (So, naturally, the US Navy then hires him as a counter-terrorism analyst. Makes sense to me). He then cheats on his GF. And when she (yes, unlawfully...probably) slugs him for being a pig, instead of sucking it up and just leaving... he calls the cops on her. Waaaaahh!! She hit me! Waaaaahh! What a fucking hero.

If she goes to trial (though as a first offender she just might avoid prosecution with a pretrial diversion program), I look forward to her testimony about their relationship. From his history, I'll lay odds she'll testify that he was an abusive personality. We'll see.

Not very lawyerly of me, and No, I don't approve of domestic violence by either gender, but whatever. As a dad of daughters myself, I look at her as some other dad's daughter who got herself hooked up with a douchebag.

I don't care if he was fucking her sister in her favorite chair and saying her mom is getting dicked next. Anyone who physically attacks someone because they're offended about something is a piece of shit.

He wasn't impinging on her health, freedom or property, she had no reason to be doing so to him. She could have taken the high ground and broke up with him and even shamed him publicly, but instead she decided to be no better than the idiots out there fighting over religion and attacked him.

It's a good thing he didn't defend himself because then he'd be the one in trouble in this ridiculous system of ours, I'm sure.

cavete terrae.

[rehmwa 2]

Andy9o8

Not very lawyerly of me, and No, I don't approve of domestic violence by either gender, but whatever.

I get you. But short answer - blind sided physical assault is bad. It's not optional based on gender, it's not optional based on PC social criteria. It's not optional for most any situation that isn't self defense or defense of another (from physical attack).

In this school, we don't hit.

Quote

he calls the cops on her. Waaaaahh!! She hit me! Waaaaahh! What a fucking hero.

and, frankly, him calling the cops instead of 'defending' himself, is the right thing to do - whether he's pond scum or an honorable guy.

Actually - when attacked by either a woman or a man, the tougher the guy, the more respect he gets for calling the authorities rather than 'take it' or 'deal with it' on his own.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[turtlespeed 226]

rehmwa

***Not very lawyerly of me, and No, I don't approve of domestic violence by either gender, but whatever.

I get you. But short answer - blind sided physical assault is bad. It's not optional based on gender, it's not optional based on PC social criteria. It's not optional for most any situation that isn't self defense or defense of another (from physical attack).

In this school, we don't hit.


and, frankly, him calling the cops instead of 'defending' himself, is the right thing to do - whether he's pond scum or an honorable guy

He needs to be careful here.
His old fashioned conservative values and gender bias is showing.
Nothing like a double standard to make everyone well balanced.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[grue 1]

rehmwa

and, frankly, him calling the cops instead of 'defending' himself, is the right thing to do - whether he's pond scum or an honorable guy.

One of the scariest hypothetical scenarios I can think of is a situation where I have to truly defend myself against a female who's attempting to do me serious harm (not just a "fuck you" punch or slap) because of how it could turn out later.

Let's say that for whatever reason (hell, let's keep it on topic and say I cheated on her) my girlfriend snapped and tried to really hurt me. She's about 5'9 or 5'10, a personal trainer, and in good shape. But that said, I've still got 5-6 inches and close to a hundred pounds on her. If I ever threw a full-strength punch and connected, there's a non-trivial chance that it could actually kill her or otherwise do a tremendous amount of damage.

How's that going to look when the cops show up? Big dude with a couple of bruises on him and a comparatively small woman with a shattered face. Doesn't matter what the story is, they're going to give her the benefit of the doubt in all likelihood.

cavete terrae.

[Andy9o8 2]

Life ain't fair, turtle. Fathers of daughters understand where I'm coming from.
That aside, we ain't heard her side of the story yet.

[rehmwa 2]

grue

Doesn't matter what the story is, they're going to give her the benefit of the doubt in all likelihood.

your best bet it to manufacture a back story right away

pre-emptively keep a log book full of dates and times documenting her attacking and hurting you - for example, if she leaves early tomorrow for work, you write in your logbook that she attacked you with a knife at breakfast over a discussion about whether grape or strawberry jelly is better

about every 3 days, call in a complaint of abuse by her to the cops - you could start with the jelly attack


just suck it up and do this for a couple months and don't give her reason to attack you until then, then you should be fine going forward

(I'm here to help)

smileys attached for the dense or obtuse crowd -

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Andy9o8 2]

"Logbooks". So 20th Century.

[rehmwa 2]

turtlespeed

He needs to be careful here.
His old fashioned conservative values and gender bias is showing.
Nothing like a double standard to make everyone well balanced.

I'm sympathetic with Andy's comments and won't hack on him like you do here. It's a lot easier to say what I wrote than to actually live it. But if we really want to get past ingrained biases and treat people like equal individuals, I still think it's worth saying on occasion. And doing our best to try and walk that talk.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[SkyDekker 1,465]

rehmwa

***
He needs to be careful here.
His old fashioned conservative values and gender bias is showing.
Nothing like a double standard to make everyone well balanced.

I'm sympathetic with Andy's comments and won't hack on him like you do here. It's a lot easier to say what I wrote than to actually live it. But if we really want to get past ingrained biases and treat people like equal individuals, I still think it's worth saying on occasion. And doing our best to try and walk that talk.

Plus we all have our double standards....

[rehmwa 2]

Andy9o8

"Logbooks". So 20th Century.

She might have questions if his Facebook posts read like "She hit me again last night.....I didn't get the right amount of butter on the popcorn again....What can I do right?" "She tried to cut me this morning, I locked myself in the bathroom until she left for work" "She just yells at me so much, my mighty heart is breaking"


but that works too.....

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[ryoder 1,590]

Andy9o8

So this is a tough guy who was fired as an NYPD cop for harrassing a woman by telephone. Mind you, we're talking the NYPD, so for them to cashier him, he had to have been beyond bad. (So, naturally, the US Navy then hires him as a counter-terrorism analyst.

Not sure where you got your info, but here is what I found from googlling news sites:

01/08/03 Charged with aggravated harassment for making harassing phone calls to female acquaintance.
12/02/10 Ordered to enter treatment for alcohol abuse.
02/02/11 retired from NYPD at salary of $98,072.00

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Andy9o8 2]

Quote

Not sure where you got your info

Strictly from the article linked in the OP:

Quote

Frey is no stranger to the criminal justice system himself.

His NYPD career was irreparably scuttled after he was arrested in 2003 for making harassing phone calls to a nurse in Suffolk County, sources said.

After retiring in 2011, he became an investigator and counter-terrorism analyst for the U.S. Navy, according to his Linkedin page.

I guess I was working off the reporter's choice of phrase "irreparably scuttled".
But yeah, I see now that he wasn't fired after the 2003 harassment arrest, he was only suspended.

[ryoder 1,590]

I also pulled up this: http://law.justia.com/cases/federal/district-courts/new-york/nysdce/1:2012cv02074/393637/19/

I can sympathize with his point.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

You know, I can really, really sympathize with Andy's point.

She may well have been "morally justified" in slugging him.
He sounds like a real piece of crap.

But legally, if she wasn't in danger, then she committed "assault" and probably "assault and battery." Both (or either, depending) are crimes.

And for him to not hit back and to call the cops was probably the smartest thing he possibly could have done.

Because when the cops show up, and the woman says "he hit me", the guy most often goes to jail. The woman may go too, but the guy almost always goes if the woman shows indications of being hit.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[Andy9o8 2]

ryoder

I also pulled up this: http://law.justia.com/cases/federal/district-courts/new-york/nysdce/1:2012cv02074/393637/19/

I can sympathize with his point.

This guy is clearly a piece of work. This is getting funny/sad. I'll see your thing & raise you 3 things:

https://www.facebook.com/109thPrecinctSgtWalterFrei
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/01/08/nyregion/metro-briefing-new-york-two-city-employees-arrested.html
http://nypost.com/2003/01/09/nypd-daily-blotter-83/

[ryoder 1,590]

Interesting. A search had pulled up the Walter "Frei" page, but I skipped over it, thinking it was unrelated.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Andy9o8 2]

I acknowledge your point. I'd still like to hear her side of the story re: whether she was in an abusive relationship. Given her age, I presume her dad is either deceased or elderly & frail, and thus can't kick this tool's ass. Pity.

[RMK 3]

Like that old Eddie Murphy monologue about scorned women:

woman in calm voice: "Oh that's OK, I'm sure I brought that on myself. I'll tell you what; you just go ahead to sleep. That's it, just get yourself some sleep"

- boyfriend now scared to close his eyes

"Pain is the best instructor, but no one wants to attend his classes"

[Andy9o8 2]

RMK

Like that old Eddie Murphy monologue about scorned women:

woman in calm voice: "Oh that's OK, I'm sure I brought that on myself. I'll tell you what; you just go ahead to sleep. That's it, just get yourself some sleep"

- boyfriend now scared to close his eyes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Burning_Bed

[BillyVance 35]

Just saw this earlier today. Pretty sickening. Lady's just dancing on stage behind the singer when all of a sudden he throws a haymaker right to her face POW!

http://www.al.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2015/02/rapper_afroman_knocks_out_fema.html#incart_river

Hard to believe his bail was only $330.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[grue 1]

BillyVance

Just saw this earlier today. Pretty sickening. Lady's just dancing on stage behind the singer when all of a sudden he throws a haymaker right to her face POW!

http://www.al.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2015/02/rapper_afroman_knocks_out_fema.html#incart_river

Hard to believe his bail was only $330.

Physical violence was not the right solution there, either.

That said, if you're not invited up there, you shouldn't be on stage, certainly not actually crowding the person that people are paying to see perform.

cavete terrae.