Corporal Punishment - OK for kids?

[Shotgun 1]

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Five minutes in the corner was pretty painful for her. Both of my kids got really good at pushups at one point.

Just curious... If a kid is misbehaving and won't stop his behavior when you tell him to stop, why would he do push-ups or stand in the corner when you tell him to?

I never said they wouldn't listen. You made that up. I used punishment to shape behaviors so we would never get to the point that they ignored me.

Sorry, I didn't intend to make something up. What sort of things were you punishing them for?

I was just curious how that type of punishment works (without the threat of having an alternative punishment if they don't do the push-ups or stand in the corner), and I guess I was thinking of myself as a child who wouldn't always do what I was told. And of course, spanking only made me have less respect for authority.

[Gravitymaster 0]

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I'm curious how much this corporal punishment of children contributes to a violent society.
Cause we have one.
The punishments appear to not be working.
I mean we kill people for killing people yet they still kill people.
So that logic continues in children...we teach them not to hit by hitting them, not to bite by biting them...
It's just insane to expect it to work.

Worked for me. I've never killed anybody.

[davjohns 1]

I used pushups, timout and such for reminders. If I had reminded the child once not to do something, the pushups or timout acted as a reminder. The length of timeout or number of pushups, etc. increased as necessary. For instance, when told to do something, if the child came back with what they wanted to in place of what they were told, they were told to do ten pushups and then obey. If anything other than, 'yes, sir' (or yes, ma'am as appropriate) came from their mouth, additional pushups were given. It was just a reminder of who was the parrent and who was the child.

What you are describing is willful disobedience. I have seen it quite a few times. My son did it when he was 2. He was playing with a touch lamp. I finally told him to leave it turned off. He looked me straight in the eye, turned it back on, and ran. I scooped him up and swatted him. I placed him in front of the lamp and told him calmly to turn it off. He said, 'no'. It was clearly a battle of wills at this point. For the next few minutes, I told him calmly to turn it off and he refused. Each refusal brought a swat to his rear. Finally, he caved and turned it off. He came to me for a hug and it was there for him. We never again had to figure out who was the parent and who was the child.

I've gone through very similar scenarios with other people. Once you've overcome that battle of wills, you usually don't have to do it again.

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[wmw999 2,593]

In a similar situation with my son, I physically forced him to do whatever it was (put away the last toy or something like that), and then removed him from the room.

But the time that he dawdled getting dressed at 3 until I said "if you're not getting dressed by the time the egg timer ends (provided visual feedback), you're getting a swat" and he didn't, well, a swat ensued. And when he said in that 3-year-old singsongy voice "That didn't hurt" I'm afraid the next one was a little harder. Yeah, physically forcing him to get dressed would probably have been as effective, but wouldn't have proivided nearly as good a story.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[billvon 3,121]

>I'm curious how much this corporal punishment of children contributes to a
>violent society. Cause we have one. The punishments appear to not be working.

Given that violence is common across societies that use, and societies that outlaw, corporal punishment - there's probably not too much of a causal connection.

[kcjen24 0]

Is Tabasco considered a weapon? I got my mouth pried open and fed Tabasco when I was really bad. The few times it happened, it sucked. But looking back now, I deserved it, IMHO.

I think I turned out just fine... and I love Tabasco!!!

[blueblur 0]

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The punishments appear to not be working.
I mean we kill people for killing people yet they still kill people.

By definition... if "we" kill them in return for killing others, they therefore CANNOT still kill people. Others may kill people undeterred by that execution, but I believe that punishment is more to remove said offender from society and prevent them from doing it again than simply as a deterrant.

In every man's life he will be allotted one good woman and one good dog. That's all you get, so appreciate them while the time you have with them lasts.

- RiggerLee

[normiss 900]

I don't think that's the proper definition of deterrent.

[Andy9o8 2]

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Is Tabasco considered a weapon? I got my mouth pried open and fed Tabasco when I was really bad. The few times it happened, it sucked. But looking back now, I deserved it, IMHO.

And IMPO your parents should have been criminally prosecuted for that. If I'd been the DA, they would have.

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I think I turned out just fine... and I love Tabasco!!!

Utterly irrelevant.

[blueblur 0]

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I don't think that's the proper definition of deterrent.

Then by your words of "we kill people for killing people but they still kill people" what were you referring to? Revenge? If I read it wrong that you didn't mean execution as a deterrent, let me know.

In every man's life he will be allotted one good woman and one good dog. That's all you get, so appreciate them while the time you have with them lasts.

- RiggerLee

[oldwomanc6 60]

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With a hand, a swat? Sure, no issue.
The minute you pick up a weapon and strike a child with it, it's battery.
If I see someone hitting a child with an object? I'm dropping a dime on your ass. (although I think it's actually a quarter now days, IF you can even find a payphone)

I've never known a single human that required physical abuse.

You and I are on the same page with this. I think your distinction of using a hand vs. an implement/weapon is a good one. It is a world of difference to swat with the intention of getting a small child's attention and intent to damage the poor kid.

And as children grow and can understand more, the discipline that is needed should be changed to best fit the child and the situation. Not all children respond to the same discipline, either, at any given age. I called my son and daughter "Blanc and Noir", both for their outlook on life and what was effective in dealing with them.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[normiss 900]

Adittedly I used a poor example.
In the case of the DP, it's revenge to the convicted, a deterrent to others.
Works just as well as physically assaulting a child in an effort to get them to behave in a desired way.

[davjohns 1]

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Adittedly I used a poor example.
In the case of the DP, it's revenge to the convicted, a deterrent to others.
Works just as well as physically assaulting a child in an effort to get them to behave in a desired way.

While it MAY act as a deterrent, I really don't care. I consider the primary purpose of captial punishment the removal from the gene pool of a proven bad apple without the expense of housing them ad infinitum.

As to the use of an object, I nver recall thinking my father's use of a belt was abusive. Even the Vice Principal who used a paddle on me knew how to use one. Obviously, that is not the case with everyone. And I didn't see that as a skill I needed to acquire. My hand worked fine. But I would not call any use of a paddle or belt assault.

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[normiss 900]

The legal system does in some cases.
Rightly so IMO.

You're a grown man, hitting a defenseless child.

[Fast 0]

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The legal system does in some cases.
Rightly so IMO.

You're a grown man, hitting a defenseless child.

And the world is only full of puppies and candy. At some point, some form of punishment ends up being used that someone doesn't tolerate.

Time Outs and groundings and the like don't sound much different than imprisonment to me. What gives someone the right to lock up their own kids, the kid is a free person with rights as long as they aren't breaking the law.

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[Andy9o8 2]

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The legal system does in some cases.
Rightly so IMO.

You're a grown man, hitting a defenseless child.

This.
(Although not directed at any one person in particular.)

Corporal punishment, at least of boys, generally ends around the time they're able to start seriously fighting back, and that's usually prior to when the need to discipline them ends. Funny how the two factors so often seem to coincide.

A lot fewer children would be corporally punished if they were physically capable of administering an ass-kicking upon an adult from day one.

[billvon 3,121]

>A lot fewer children would be corporally punished if they were physically capable of
>administering an ass-kicking upon an adult from day one.

A lot of parents would also be dead. Tantrums are pretty common among kids, and most kids will dislike something their parents are doing at some point.

[Andy9o8 2]

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>A lot fewer children would be corporally punished if they were physically capable of
>administering an ass-kicking upon an adult from day one.

A lot of parents would also be dead. Tantrums are pretty common among kids, and most kids will dislike something their parents are doing at some point.

No doubt. It was, of course, a hypothetical, not to be taken literally, but to illustrate my point - which I stand by.

[blueblur 0]

My wife was punished/borderline abused as a child and teen. She still has it in her mind to swat a butt of an unruly child when other means don't work. The biggest thing in both of our minds is not to use physical punishment out of anger. That's when things get out of hand. Both of my parents separately would spank me with a hand or belt, but after we both calmed down. Anger magnifies things and turns punishment into violence.

In every man's life he will be allotted one good woman and one good dog. That's all you get, so appreciate them while the time you have with them lasts.

- RiggerLee