Corporal Punishment - OK for kids?

[airdvr 210]

I was raised with spankings and even occasional whippings with my father's belt. We got paddlings in school by the teachers. I can't recall ever having received this punishment in error.

My kids got the thunder hand to the butt when they needed it. Meh.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[kelpdiver 2]

what's the boobies answer entail? sounds like a good reason to be bad...

[wmw999 2,593]

Not going to vote, because "yes" leaves too much open, and "no" closes off too much.

I.e. -- a quick swat to get attention in a safety situation is OK in my book; it might not be the best way, but sometimes it's the one that's thought of.

I don't think implements are ever OK in spanking, and if it's used, it shouldn't be a way for the parent to let off steam. Kids do what their parents do.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[JerryBaumchen 1,469]

Hi Wendy,

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I don't think implements are ever OK in spanking

I kept a 12" wooden ruler in the desk. It only took one good swat and they new what it meant in the future. And I never gave either one of them more than one swat.

As time went on, I only had to say "I'm getting the ruler" and they would shape right now.

Then one day both of them were acting up & I said that I was getting the ruler. They said "Go ahead." When I went to the desk it was gone ( now, I wonder who might have hidden it ). I immediately went down to the basement where I had another one, came up & gave them both a good swat.

Never had that problem again.

A few years later I read an article that said to never use your hand to spank a child; use something else, such as a rolled up newspaper, etc. If you were to use your hand, the child then feared you; if you used something else, then the child feared the device.

Just my experience,

JerryBaumchen

PS) As children, both my brother and I would get beaten severely with both a belt and/ or a yardstick. I can still remember that pain.

[wmw999 2,593]

I hadn't thought about a ruler (never went to Catholic school ), but that makes sense. I used to work for the abuse team in Child Welfare, and implements weren't good -- but then people reported to Child Welfare tended not to use just a ruler for a swat.

I used to count to 10 instead of 3; that gave me a chance to think about whether the behavior was swat-worthy, and start counting funny (1-2-3-4-17-968-23...). That let him know that he'd gotten this close to going over the line.

Knowing the line is close and still in front of you is generally better than knowing it's behind you. At least to me.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[BIGUN 1,491]

My kid gets pushups.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[kelpdiver 2]

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My kid gets pushups.

burpees are even better!

[normiss 900]

All it ever taught me was to stay out of arm's reach of the abusive parent.
It teaches fear and disrespect.

I've never laid a hand on my kids. Never once were they any trouble. They talk to me about EVERYTHING. I avoided my parents.
We respect and love each other, why would I ever hit someone I feel that way about?

[skydiver30960 0]

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My kid gets pushups.

burpees are even better!

We used to get "the stick." As with most others here, the threat was usually enough to bring us back into line.

A fellow jumper was once marveling at the good behavior of a couple kids (maybe six years old or so) who were at the DZ. He said "now there are a couple kids who have been loved and beaten in the proper proportions." I liked that.

I don't plan to have kids but if I ever did then corporal punishment would surely be a part of the lesson plan.

But I must say: burpees and pushups for punishment? That may be the best idea I've heard in a long time.

Elvisio "Punishment for time: 3-2-1, go!" Rodriguez

[Andy9o8 2]

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All it ever taught me was to stay out of arm's reach of the abusive parent.
It teaches fear and disrespect.

I've never laid a hand on my kids. Never once were they any trouble. They talk to me about EVERYTHING. I avoided my parents.
We respect and love each other, why would I ever hit someone I feel that way about?

This.

No, people don't always do what their parents do; my kids never got hit. And they turned out quite well, because my wife and I used our heads and did the work. No coddling, but no violence.

[RonD1120 62]

On appropriate occasions, I was switched with switches I picked, a paddle I had made in shop class, my dad's hand and once with his belt.

I believe in spanking because my parents and I were taught how to spank in elementary school. Also, we only had one set of parents. We all lived with our behaviors. Our family values and rules came from the Bible.

It is not good now because we are not taught how to administer corporal punishment properly. Families are no longer stable and therefore consistency in corporal punishment cannot be be adequately established. The rules of parenting from the Bible are no longer universally taught.

Nowadays with the breakdown of family values children have multiple sets of parents and parents are placed in charge of children they really do not want and do not like. Parents tend to use mood altering chemicals to cope with stress which inhibits learning and developing wisdom. These conditions produce a prescription for violence.

The cycle of domestic violence is broken when fathers are taught nurturing concepts. A violent father will teach a violent son who will become a violent father. Nurturing concepts can be introduced and taught to fathers on the brink.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[BIGUN 1,491]

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My kid gets pushups.

burpees are even better!

She's not quite ready for squat thrusts.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[jimmytavino 16]

No.

should Not be necessary.

since it can easily be Mis-applied...or worse,,,selectively administered

i'm one of 4 brothers all kids of the 50s,,, in fact we were all born within a 5 year span.. My Dad felt differently than the position which i hold... and He wielded authority By using corp. punishment...The Belt... ( Mom preffered the early version of Time Out.... sitting in a corner...) We OFTEN Ran OUT of corners!!!!Our sister was born a year after my last brother,,,, and She never EVER needed to be the one to be spanked..!!!See what i mean about "selective" ??hahaha

It WAS effective,, and maybe even necessary in OUR situation.... We were a real handful,, VERY active,, VERY mischievious.....and somewhat hard-headed... But he Never over did it ... and it was never without just cause..
At school,, in those days the Sisters seemed to have "cart-blanche" in such matters,, and I learned real quick to steer clear of the Mean ones... (perfect example of Mis-applied discipline)

Today, nah...it should not be a part of the picture.. ESPECIALLY in schools,, public And private...and hopefully our homes are run with a kinder and more peaceful game plan...

I like biguns Approach... Drop and give me 20 !!!!!

[blueblur 0]

I still like the punishment for the American guy that was spraypainting graffiti on cars in Singapore I think it was. They convicted him in court and publicly caned him. That was in the '90's I think... how many times has it happened since?

In every man's life he will be allotted one good woman and one good dog. That's all you get, so appreciate them while the time you have with them lasts.

- RiggerLee

[jclalor 12]

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Our family values and rules came from the Bible.

Just when their convenient.

[davjohns 1]

To a certain age, it is about the only way to quickly and efficiently make the connection between unwanted behavior and unwanted consequences. Both of mine got swatted when necessary. However, my parents used a belt. I tried that once. I couldn't tell if it was too little pain to get the job done or too much. So, I went back to using my hand. I wanted to know exactly what level of discomfort I was using.

Once they were older, I found other ways to make the points. For instance, my daughter was very active. Five minutes in the corner was pretty painful for her. Both of my kids got really good at pushups at one point.

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[Shotgun 1]

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Five minutes in the corner was pretty painful for her. Both of my kids got really good at pushups at one point.

Just curious... If a kid is misbehaving and won't stop his behavior when you tell him to stop, why would he do push-ups or stand in the corner when you tell him to?

[Southern_Man 0]

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Our family values and rules came from the Bible.

Just when their convenient.

Yes, they don't tend to follow this one:

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

21:18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

21:19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

21:21And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

[oldwomanc6 60]

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Five minutes in the corner was pretty painful for her. Both of my kids got really good at pushups at one point.

Just curious... If a kid is misbehaving and won't stop his behavior when you tell him to stop, why would he do push-ups or stand in the corner when you tell him to?

Quit making sense!

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[normiss 900]

I cannot believe some of your are openly admitting that you have repeatedly battered your OWN children.
What you are admitting to is a serious criminal act.

What would happen if you treated an adult like this in public?

I find this to be a sad statement on the way we 'lovingly' treat our fellow humans, much less our own flesh and blood.

ETA - I just spent the last 2 hours getting a grandson to sleep.
Talk about trying your patience.

whew!

[oldwomanc6 60]

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I cannot believe some of your are openly admitting that you have repeatedly battered your OWN children.
What you are admitting to is a serious criminal act.

Three different issues here.

1) Who admitted to battering (repeatedly) their kids? I think battering is a term that is open to interpretation.

2) Swatting on the butt, is in no way battering.

3) It's not a criminal act if the swatting probably happened before a law criminalizing said swatting was enacted. There are a lot of us who are older( with grown children) posting. Are there laws that say you cannot swat your kids on the butt now, and if so, where?

BTW, I'm glad that your children didn't require any swatting or smacking of hands. What did you do before they were able to understand what you were saying and the potential consequences of whatever they were doing wrong or dangerous?

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[normiss 900]

With a hand, a swat? Sure, no issue.
The minute you pick up a weapon and strike a child with it, it's battery.
If I see someone hitting a child with an object? I'm dropping a dime on your ass. (although I think it's actually a quarter now days, IF you can even find a payphone)

I've never known a single human that required physical abuse.

[christelsabine 1]

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....
What did you do before they were able to understand what you were saying and the potential consequences of whatever they were doing wrong or dangerous?

Before .... ? Means before which age? Means, perhaps, beating very small or small kids?

Jesus Christ, beating a little one is indictable here. Just to imagine (f.e.) a father of 1.80 m, 85 kg, beating, slapping a little one into the face or on a mini butt makes my blood boil.

It seems, several persons on this site forgot one simple thing: Kids learn the most by showing them, teaching them, until they are able to understand by themselves. Until then, it's parents' obligation to watch over them.

A 2 y/o will not understand why it's not allowed to climb into the lion cage. Who with a brain between the ears really could believe, kiddies understand better if you beat them??

I know that our laws will not stop child abuse, it only can help to protect our kids a bit more.

*A good treshing* is utter BS and just an excuse, used by unapt parents.

dudeist skydiver # 3105

[davjohns 1]

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Five minutes in the corner was pretty painful for her. Both of my kids got really good at pushups at one point.

Just curious... If a kid is misbehaving and won't stop his behavior when you tell him to stop, why would he do push-ups or stand in the corner when you tell him to?

I never said they wouldn't listen. You made that up. I used punishment to shape behaviors so we would never get to the point that they ignored me.

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[normiss 900]

I'm curious how much this corporal punishment of children contributes to a violent society.
Cause we have one.
The punishments appear to not be working.
I mean we kill people for killing people yet they still kill people.
So that logic continues in children...we teach them not to hit by hitting them, not to bite by biting them...
It's just insane to expect it to work.