Wikileaks Humor

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Here's a thread for humorous leaks. Regardless of your feelings about WikiLeaks, the releases can provide some intersting and humorous info.

From April 2008:

FM AMEMBASSY ASTANA
TO RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC PRIORITY 2248

...This cable recounts several instances in which Embassy officers have learned of, or witnessed, the recreational habits of Kazakhstan's leaders.

President Nazarbayev, like many of his countrymen, has
a strong affinity for horses.....

Emboff toured the stable and saw
approximately forty horses from various parts of the world.

Emboff's companion told him that Nazarbayev visits the horse
farm on occasion, though not too frequently. She said that
Nazarbayev's wife -- Sara Nazarbayeva -- never accompanies
him, but claimed that sometimes his "second wife" comes to
the horse farm. (Comment: Most Kazakhstanis are familiar
with the rumor that Nazarbayev has a "second wife," a former
airline stewardess, who is said by some to reside in London.
More recently, there have been whispers that Nazarbayev has
yet a "third wife," a former beauty queen. We have no
concrete information about either relationship, although
Taszhargan, an opposition newspaper, printed a sympathetic
article about Sara Nazarbayeva which expounded on her status
as Nazarbayev's "co-wife."

Wait! There's more!

Kazakhstani oligarch Aleksandr
Mashkevich -- the co-founder of metals and mining giant
Eurasian Natural Resources Corporation and, according to Forbes magazine, the 334th wealthiest man in the world --
hosted a dinner at his house in Almaty for two visiting U.S.
congressmen. Only two Kazakhstanis attended the event.

It is not clear what Mashkevich is spending his
billions on, but it is certainly not culinary talent. On all
four occasions the Ambassador has eaten at one of his houses,
the menu has been similar and focused on beshparmak (boiled
meat and noodles) and plov. The wait staff appeared to be
graduates of a Soviet cafeteria training academy. The wine,
at least, was somewhat upscale with reasonably good French
vintage bottles uncorked for the guests.

Yep, it ain't over yet...

Kazakhstan's political elites also have recreational
tastes that are not so exotic. Some, in fact, prefer to
relax the old-fashioned way. Defense Minister Akhmetov, a
self-proclaimed workaholic, appears to enjoy loosening up in
the tried and true "homo sovieticus" style -- i.e., drinking oneself into a stupor.

While most of our accounts of
Akhmetov's indulgences with the bottle are hearsay, we do
have "eyes on" for one episode which supports the rumors. In
June 2007, Akhmetov showed up in grand form for a meeting
with a visiting senior U.S. Defense Department official.
Making no attempt to conceal his condition -- slouching back
in his chair and slurring all kinds of Russian participles -- Akhmetov explained to this very senior guest that he had just
been at a cadet graduation reception "toasting Kazakhstan's
newly-commissioned officers." Who was toasted more -- the
Defense Minister or the cadets -- is a matter of pure
speculation.

Gotta love it.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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Jan 2010

FM AMEMBASSY BAKU
TO RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC PRIORITY 2302


This cable is the first in a series that
will highlight the most powerful families in Azerbaijan, both
in terms of economic and political power. In this opening
issue, we profile the family of First Lady Mehriban Aliyeva
(born Mehriban Pashayeva)....

The Pashayev women are known to be fashion-conscious
and daring, far more so than the average woman in majority-
Muslim Azerbaijan. First Lady Mehriban Aliyeva appears to
have had substantial cosmetic surgery, presumably overseas,
and wears dresses that would be considered provocative even
in the Western world (reftel). On television, in photos, and
in person, she appears unable to show a full range of facial
expression. The First Lady and her two daughters hosted
Second Lady Lynne Cheney for dinner in September 2008. Prior
to the Second Lady's arrival, while the three ladies were
waiting for Mrs. Cheney's car, one Secret Service agent asked
"which one of those is the mother?" Emboffs and White House
staff studied the three for several moments, and then Emboff
said, "Well, logically the mother would probably stand in the
middle."

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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In the realm of "Tell Us How You Really Feel"...

Dec 2009

FM AMEMBASSY ASHGABAT
TO RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC PRIORITY 3934

SUBJECT: BERDIMUHAMEDOV AND TURKMENISTAN’S RULING FAMILY

Classified By: Charge d’Affaires Sylvia Reed Curran. Reasons 1.4 (B) a nd (D).

¶1. (C) SUMMARY: Turkmen President Berdimuhammedov is:
vain,
fastidious,
vindictive,
a micro-manager, and
a bit of an Ahal Teke “nationalist.”

The father, many in Turkmenistan think, is more intelligent than the son.

Berdimuhamedov reportedly has a Turkmen wife and a Russian mistress. He has two daughters and a son with his Turkmen spouse and a daughter with his Russian wife.


2. (C) Berdimuhamedov is:
vain,
suspicious,
guarded,
strict,
very conservative,
a practiced liar,
“a good actor,”
vindictive
never forgets, and
a micromanager.


¶3. (C) Our source said Berdimuhamedov is
very clean and neat and
requires all around him to be the same.

When Berdimuhamedov became the head of a dental clinic, he insisted that the other men who worked there had creases in their pants.

About 30 years ago, when Berdimuhamedov owned an old Russian car, he would leave it at home if it rained and take a taxi instead.


¶5. (C) Berdimuhamedov does not like people who are smarter than he is. Since he’s not a very bright guy, our source offered, he is suspicious of a lot of people.


I think we got the point, eh?

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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You gotta hand it to the Brits..they got balls.
Not to be outdone by others, the Brits contribute to the thread:

Mar 2008

FM AMEMBASSY LONDON
TO RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC PRIORITY 7753


It didn’t help that,..... the Guardian published a quote [Nick] Clegg [Liberal Democrat Party] made prior to the 2005 election, in which he said,

“The real reason, of course, why the government does not want to hold a referendum is the fear that it may lose... Nothing will do more damage to the pro-European movement than giving room to the suspicion that we have something to hide, that we do not have the ‘cojones’ to carry out our argument to the people.”

¶5. (SBU) The use of the word “cojones” - not wide-spread in Britain as it is in the U.S. - came back to bite Clegg in the, er, nether regions at the March 5 session of Prime Minister’s Questions.

Rising to address the Commons, Clegg nervously shook a crease out of his trousers, unwittingly bringing the cojones remark back to the fore and causing the House of Commons to erupt in jeers and laughter, drowning out Clegg’s question and forcing the Speaker of the House to call for order.

Tory Foreign Affairs Spokesman William Hague raised the subject yet again in the debate on the Lisbon Treaty referendum later that day. “Any explanation of why the Liberal Democrat leadership’s protests in the debates have become ever more shrill,” Hague said, “is that, at some point in recent months, they have become separated from their cojones. Those unfortunate objects are now to be found impaled on a distant fence.” More jeers and laughter followed.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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Mar 2008

FM AMEMBASSY LONDON
TO RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC PRIORITY 7659

SUBJECT: UK LABOUR SPRING CONFERENCE: GOOD INTENTIONS BUT
FEW GOOD VIBRATIONS



Summary: The Labour Party Spring Conference, held February 27 - March 2 in Birmingham, was characterized by low energy, poor attendance, and a lack of charismatic leadership, despite serving as a kick-off to the party’s campaign for the May 1 local elections in England and Wales.


The lack of energy that hung like a pall over the keynote speech was evident elsewhere, either because of low attendance or the party’s financial woes.

Labour members groused that conference organizers had chosen a bad weekend -
- Welsh members stayed away to attend the March 1 St. David’s Day festivities back home (St. David is the patron saint of Wales and his feast day is a Welsh nationalist obligation).

- And the March 2 observance of Mother’s Day in Britain put many prospective attendees in the position of choosing between the Labour Party and their “mums.”

Judging by the turnout, Mum won in many cases.



Mum's the word, Assange.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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Under the banner of sensationalism and responsible reporting, we have this from UK's The Guardian

Headline:
US embassy cables: Tom Cruise and scientology have trouble in Hamburg

Text (the only mention of Tom) buried waaaaay down deep:

...On August 7 at the press release of Caberta's "Black Book Scientology" Nagel announced that he would propose discussing banning Scientology at the December 7 state interior ministers meeting. In a conversation with Pol/Econ Specialist on August 13, Hamburg Interior Ministry Spokesman Marco Haase suggested that the announcement was the result of several unrelated occurrences, such as the recent publication of Caberta's book, the case of the Berlin girl and her brother seeking refuge in Hamburg (Ref.), the attention to Scientology generated during the filming of the movie "Valkyrie" in Berlin, in which Tom Cruise stars, and the summer media slump. According to Haase, Nagel believes that a ban alone is not the answer.

Ya gotta laugh.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[mnealtx 0]

Karma

Quote

LAWYERS for Julian Assange have expressed anger about an alleged smear campaign against the Australian WikiLeaks founder.
Incriminating police files were published in the British newspaper that has used him as its source for hundreds of leaked US embassy cables.

In a move that surprised many of Mr Assange's closest supporters on Saturday, The Guardian newspaper published previously unseen police documents that accused Mr Assange in graphic detail of sexually assaulting two Swedish women. One witness is said to have stated: "Not only had it been the world's worst screw, it had also been violent."

Bjorn Hurtig, Mr Assange's Swedish lawyer, said he would lodge a formal complaint to the authorities and ask them to investigate how such sensitive police material leaked into the public domain. "It is with great concern that I hear about this because it puts Julian and his defence in a bad position," he told a colleague.

"I do not like the idea that Julian may be forced into a trial in the media. And I feel especially concerned that he will be presented with the evidence in his own language for the first time when reading the newspaper. I do not know who has given these documents to the media, but the purpose can only be one thing - trying to make Julian look bad."

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

I do not know who has given these documents to the media, but the purpose can only be one thing - trying to make Julian look bad.

According to JA, the truth will not make you look bad - well... except if it looks bad.
JA, the new champion of privacy.