Escalated Threat Levels

[pirana 0]

Good humor; got it from a friend and couldn't resist passing on.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued “A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's Get The Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly & Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress In Uniform & Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade A Neighbor" and "Lose".

Belgians on the other hand are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies "just in case".

Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

New Zealand has raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defense cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level of escalation, which is "Hope Australia Rescues Us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No Worries, Mate" to "She'll Be Alright, Mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "We May Need To Cancel The Barbie This Weekend" and "The Barbie Is Cancelled". So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Happy Thanksgiving. If you do not celebrate Thanksgiving, then just Happy.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[pirana 0]

Criminy, just realized I posted this to Bonfire, not Speaker's Corner.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[kasch 0]

glad you did cause i never would have looked there and this was amusing

Sex with sith is like sex with a stripper. A lot of flashing lights and waving of glowing sabers, but in the end you end up with something dark and wrinkely.

DPH# "-13"
TSK# "-13"

[skyrider 0]

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Criminy, just realized I posted this to Bonfire, not Speaker's Corner.

not to worry, it will magically be transported in a few minutes!

[ZigZagMarquis 9]

Yeah, especially if anyone mentions body scanners...

[Kennedy 0]

Poof the magic Greenie has struck again.

witty subliminal message
Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards.
1*

[firemedic 7]

Happy Thanksgiving. If you do not celebrate Thanksgiving, then just Happy.

[futuredivot 0]

Didn't see anything SC worthy in the post-They were probably just judging the potential thread direction from title.

That's profiling, and profiling is wrong.

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[skyrider 0]

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Didn't see anything SC worthy in the post-They were probably just judging the potential thread direction from title.

That's profiling, and profiling is wrong.

Not that there is anything wrong with that!

[ZigZagMarquis 9]

And don't let the green weenie get you this Thanksgiving!

[piisfish 140]

and what do the Swiss do ?

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[Andy9o8 2]

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and what do the Swiss do ?

Raise their threat level from "apathy" to "indifference".

[pirana 0]

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Didn't see anything SC worthy in the post-They were probably just judging the potential thread direction from title.

That's profiling, and profiling is wrong.

That would make this my 1st profiling experience since the police gave me the business back in the 70's for my long hair; which is still the only time I was ever handcuffed (against my desires).

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley