Very enetertaining Email copy and paste

[turtlespeed 226]

I don't care if you don't like it - It is probably a good start.

Unfortunately.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[BIGUN 1,507]

They'll argue for alimony.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[turtlespeed 226]

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They'll argue for alimony.

Yeah - but the venue will be here - since they have the industry in the states that they have . . . with the unions. Their average per person income will be much higher. We'd still get fucked, and have to pay child support though.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Amazon 7]

AS posted on most of the braindead fringe right regurgisphere....

Sorry but your fringe right wing Utopia just aint gonna happen in this country.. too bad the fringe right cant turn back time and head for El Salvador... they had really cool right wing death squads just a couple decades ago that would give a reason to live for some people here.

SOOO sorry they missed out on their wet dream.

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

AS posted on most of the braindead fringe right regurgisphere....

Sorry but your fringe right wing Utopia just aint gonna happen in this country.. too bad the fringe right cant turn back time and head for El Salvador... they had really cool right wing death squads just a couple decades ago that would give a reason to live for some people here.

SOOO sorry they missed out on their wet dream.

Didn't miss out - we just figured that you are all wanting what we have so much - you would rush in and try to take over first. That and there were already to many liberals like you there.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Amazon 7]

Quote

Quote

AS posted on most of the braindead fringe right regurgisphere....

Sorry but your fringe right wing Utopia just aint gonna happen in this country.. too bad the fringe right cant turn back time and head for El Salvador... they had really cool right wing death squads just a couple decades ago that would give a reason to live for some people here.

SOOO sorry they missed out on their wet dream.

Didn't miss out - we just figured that you are all wanting what we have so much - you would rush in and try to take over first. That and there were already to many liberals like you there.

AH.. more phalacies brought on by delusions...

You guys getting sores on the right side from all that leaning???

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

Quote

Quote

AS posted on most of the braindead fringe right regurgisphere....

Sorry but your fringe right wing Utopia just aint gonna happen in this country.. too bad the fringe right cant turn back time and head for El Salvador... they had really cool right wing death squads just a couple decades ago that would give a reason to live for some people here.

SOOO sorry they missed out on their wet dream.

Didn't miss out - we just figured that you are all wanting what we have so much - you would rush in and try to take over first. That and there were already to many liberals like you there.

AH.. more phalacies brought on by delusions...

You guys getting sores on the right side from all that leaning???

At least i can admit that I am right of center, as opposed to you and Lucky and Dreamdancer denying that they are even a little bit left.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Amazon 7]

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote

AS posted on most of the braindead fringe right regurgisphere....

Sorry but your fringe right wing Utopia just aint gonna happen in this country.. too bad the fringe right cant turn back time and head for El Salvador... they had really cool right wing death squads just a couple decades ago that would give a reason to live for some people here.

SOOO sorry they missed out on their wet dream.

Didn't miss out - we just figured that you are all wanting what we have so much - you would rush in and try to take over first. That and there were already to many liberals like you there.

AH.. more phalacies brought on by delusions...

You guys getting sores on the right side from all that leaning???

At least i can admit that I am right of center, as opposed to you and Lucky and Dreamdancer denying that they are even a little bit left.

Right of Center.. is laughable.. but accurate
|_______________________________________CENTER_________________________________TUR_|_TLE
.. but hanging out in the far fringe of the scale is more APT

[quade 4]

(touched for width issues)

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[Amazon 7]

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(touched for width issues)

I was making a point Paul

[quade 4]

I wonder when this was originally written?

The earliest I can find from a quick Google is Feb. 2009, but the references in it are clearly from before that. I mean, seriously, when was the last time anybody gave a rats ass about Shirley McClain?

Somebody has updated it to include "hot Alaskan hockey moms", but when was the last time people used that? Certainly that's not a reference from today.

Quote

We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

I find it hilarious somebody thinks they can somehow separate "greedy CEOs" from "Hollywood."

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[jakee 1,611]

I love how he couldn't remember the name of "The National Anthem."

Do you want to have an ideagasm?