wmw999 2,589
It's not always culture. Some of it's individual. An acquaintance of mine used to be a police officer in one of Houston's suburban communities.
She said that about 80% of the kids in trouble came out of families with a lot of problems, and shitty parents. But about 20% of them came from the kind of families that made you go "WTF how did that happen?".
Same thing the other way around. About 80% of the kids who came out of those shitty families tended to either be trouble or be in trouble. But about 20% were those who made you go "WTF why can't everyone be like them and rise above their circumstances."
Some of it's the kid, some of it's the family, some of it's the surroundings. Sometimes the village does help to raise the child, and that can be a good thing.
Wendy P.
She said that about 80% of the kids in trouble came out of families with a lot of problems, and shitty parents. But about 20% of them came from the kind of families that made you go "WTF how did that happen?".
Same thing the other way around. About 80% of the kids who came out of those shitty families tended to either be trouble or be in trouble. But about 20% were those who made you go "WTF why can't everyone be like them and rise above their circumstances."
Some of it's the kid, some of it's the family, some of it's the surroundings. Sometimes the village does help to raise the child, and that can be a good thing.
Wendy P.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)
steve1 5
The sad thing about all of this is that it is generational. I've heard many people call it generational trauma. Kids grow up a lot like their own parents. Many parents don't have a clue how to be a quality mother or father. They parent usually just like their parents did. The cycle goes on and on, until someone decides they have had enough. Some times it takes a generation or two to break the cycle of abuse, neglect, or alcoholism.
As hard as I've tried I still hear my Dad's words coming out of my mouth at times. I look like him, talk like him....hell I even walk like him, but I think I've done a much better job of raising my kids, than he ever did.....
As hard as I've tried I still hear my Dad's words coming out of my mouth at times. I look like him, talk like him....hell I even walk like him, but I think I've done a much better job of raising my kids, than he ever did.....
Quote
They parent usually just like their parents did. The cycle goes on and on, until someone decides they have had enough. Some times it takes a generation or two to break the cycle of abuse, neglect, or alcoholism.
I was raised by an extremely religious, extraordinarily violent, mother. She liked to feel Jesus, and beating the shit out of her kids with a belt was a common way for her to do that. I've broken that cycle, as has my sister.
We are all engines of karma
QuoteQuoteQuoteFor 300 years, slave owners in our country and others would deliberately sell the mother and father away from their kids. Some familial lines are still struggling with this legacy.
this was the first mention of slavery...
Yes then I said you saidQuote
That may keep kids from getting to far down the family tree but i dont see its relivence here.
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it seems to be highly relevant - are you saying they shouldn't learn their history?
So no it is still not relevant.... Your wrong get over it!
i think it is relevant and you are wrong. why mention slavery in the first place if it is not relevant?
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billvon 3,120
.thumb.jpg.4bb795e2eaf21b8b300039a5e1ec7f92.jpg)
>The hip-hop culture, which is modeled after prison life, is the biggest
>deterrent of progress today in the black communities.
Every generation says that. The flappers were the reason the US was going down the drain. Rock and roll was rotting kid's brains and leading to drug use and crime. Video games cause violence.
It's not the culture, it's the people in it. Baggy pants, long hair, loud music and video games don't cause crime and prevent progress.
>deterrent of progress today in the black communities.
Every generation says that. The flappers were the reason the US was going down the drain. Rock and roll was rotting kid's brains and leading to drug use and crime. Video games cause violence.
It's not the culture, it's the people in it. Baggy pants, long hair, loud music and video games don't cause crime and prevent progress.
Quote
It's not the culture, it's the people in it.
Well said. I will be quoting that, for a long time to come...
We are all engines of karma
QuoteSome of it's the kid, some of it's the family, some of it's the surroundings. Sometimes the village does help to raise the child, and that can be a good thing.
That sums it up in a nut shell. Very well put!
Nothing opens like a Deere!
You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers!
You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers!
Quotei think it is relevant and you are wrong. why mention slavery in the first place if it is not relevant?
The OP brought it up but it is still not relevent!
Go back to your dream world!
Nothing opens like a Deere!
You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers!
You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers!
QuoteQuotei think it is relevant and you are wrong. why mention slavery in the first place if it is not relevant?
The OP brought it up but it is still not relevent!
Go back to your dream world!
so both the op and i think it is relevant...
(perhaps you should get back to reality)
stay away from moving propellers - they bite
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jgoose71 0
Quote>The hip-hop culture, which is modeled after prison life, is the biggest
>deterrent of progress today in the black communities.
Every generation says that. The flappers were the reason the US was going down the drain. Rock and roll was rotting kid's brains and leading to drug use and crime. Video games cause violence.
It's not the culture, it's the people in it. Baggy pants, long hair, loud music and video games don't cause crime and prevent progress.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming the baggy pants, long hair, loud music, or video games. I'm blaming the drugs, the wanting to bust-a-cap for any disrespect, lack of wanting to be a father figure, lack of respect of women, lack of wanting to get an education, and lack of a work ethic. It's all in the attitude.
And correct me if I'm wrong, but don't the people make up the culture? Can you show me how the wanna-be gangstas of the Hip-Hop Culture are progressing any cause?
"There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Life, the Universe, and Everything
Life, the Universe, and Everything
steve1 5
Generational trauma is an interesting thing to study. It can be tracked back over generations.
I look at my Dad and wonder why he was such an angry, dysfunctional, alcoholic parent. But then again, I realize it would have been difficult for him not to be like that. When he was a kid his Mom died when he was young. He was then farmed out to several other families who really didn't want him. That hurt never really left him.
He was a terrible parent who was drunk out of his mind every day. It had a huge affect on my brothers and I. I've got two brothers and one step brother. Guess what, they all became alcoholics. One of my younger brothers has already drank himself to death. There was no way to stop him. Luckily none of them married and they can't pass much down to anyone else.
I truly believe there is more to alcoholism than genetics.
My Dad had one brother. I lost track of him and his family over the years. I remember that family as being fairly normal. My two cousins seemed like normal, healthy kids when they were young.
Well I got the news the other day that they are all dead. My uncle died of a heart attack. His wife drank herself to death. Their son had alcohol problems and he killed himself. Their daughter drank herself to death this past Spring.
I wonder how much was passed on down to their kids.
This is depressing stuff. Nothing is easy about breaking out of this generational cycle of dysfunction....
People tend to marry someone who is mentally similiar to themselves. Ever hear of a woman who marries the same type of no good, over and over again. Many times he was just like her father.
Usually someone marries someone similiar to one of their own parents. So, this makes it even more likely that dysfunction will be passed on to their kids.
This is a sad thing to look at, if it is going on in your own family....
My wife is similiar to myself. We both grew up in abusive alcoholic families. We probably both suffer from PTSD. We have two daughters. We are all trying hard to break out of this. I know my own kids are carrying around garbage from the past. We've talked about this many times with them. Both of my daughters have depression problems at times. I can only hope for a brighter future.....
I look at my Dad and wonder why he was such an angry, dysfunctional, alcoholic parent. But then again, I realize it would have been difficult for him not to be like that. When he was a kid his Mom died when he was young. He was then farmed out to several other families who really didn't want him. That hurt never really left him.
He was a terrible parent who was drunk out of his mind every day. It had a huge affect on my brothers and I. I've got two brothers and one step brother. Guess what, they all became alcoholics. One of my younger brothers has already drank himself to death. There was no way to stop him. Luckily none of them married and they can't pass much down to anyone else.
I truly believe there is more to alcoholism than genetics.
My Dad had one brother. I lost track of him and his family over the years. I remember that family as being fairly normal. My two cousins seemed like normal, healthy kids when they were young.
Well I got the news the other day that they are all dead. My uncle died of a heart attack. His wife drank herself to death. Their son had alcohol problems and he killed himself. Their daughter drank herself to death this past Spring.
I wonder how much was passed on down to their kids.
This is depressing stuff. Nothing is easy about breaking out of this generational cycle of dysfunction....
People tend to marry someone who is mentally similiar to themselves. Ever hear of a woman who marries the same type of no good, over and over again. Many times he was just like her father.
Usually someone marries someone similiar to one of their own parents. So, this makes it even more likely that dysfunction will be passed on to their kids.
This is a sad thing to look at, if it is going on in your own family....
My wife is similiar to myself. We both grew up in abusive alcoholic families. We probably both suffer from PTSD. We have two daughters. We are all trying hard to break out of this. I know my own kids are carrying around garbage from the past. We've talked about this many times with them. Both of my daughters have depression problems at times. I can only hope for a brighter future.....
pirana 0
QuoteI think my teachers, at school, were my saving grace. Everyone of them was saying, "stay in school! If you want a future, that would be a smart thing to do."
I don't think I would have done any of that if it hadn't been for caring teachers who were good role models.
Thanks for listening! This is good therapy for me.....
Hallelujah! Seriously, thank goodness for the good teachers; it would probably be a very different world if they were all like the ones that can inspire kids and get them to see beyond their own current existence.
I had a really good one for 5th Grade, a couple more in Jr. High (English and Art), and most unfortunately, only 1 in all of High School. Don't know if they were burned out on it or just not that good, but my High School teachers left a lot to be desired.
" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley
rehmwa 2
QuoteDon't know if they were burned out on it or just not that good, but my High School teachers left a lot to be desired.
I'm sure they were fine. But I suspect by that time you were so obnoxious that they just didn't bother.
...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants
birdshit 0
slavery ended 150 years ago. time to pick a better excuse for being a scumbag, societal tick. How about the cycle of gang life in the inner city? Do you think any of these kids give a shit their great great grandparents were slaves? You havent been to the ghetto in a while.
Nowadays its about growing up to be in a gang. drug use is idolized. Guns are idolized. violent rap music is idolized. Bush and Cronies decided instead of real effort to stop teen pregnancy they were gonna push abstinence, which doesnt work. Pandering to the religious right. Now we have a teen pregnancy problem, a gang problem and many cultural issues such as idolization of the prison lifestyle, gangs, drugs, poverty, lack of education.
Slavery has nothing to do with it. Its a weak ass excuse pushed by somebody that doesnt know whats gong on in urban america. 
out and out slavery might have ended a while back - but institutional racism still continues and thrives...
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kallend 2,150
QuotePandering to the religious right. Now we have a teen pregnancy problem, a gang problem and many cultural issues such as idolization of the prison lifestyle, gangs, drugs, poverty, lack of education.
Indeed
www.churchexecutive.com/news.asp?N_ID=2113
What we need are more atheists.
...
The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.
The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.
Zach 0
Quoteout and out slavery might have ended a while back - but institutional racism still continues and thrives...
Your point has some validity, but so does this guy's:
"I believe that if he belts his pants up over his ass, studies hard in school, and stays off drugs, he can become president of the United States.
Institution versus personal responsibility. Who sounds racist here? You make the call."
I would agree that there still exist institutional racism, just like there still exists any other kind of racism. However, I don't think it is the huge problem you make it out to be. People will believe what they believe, and behave the way they'll behave. I think that racism is not so much built into the system as it is a part of RACIST PEOPLE'S beliefs.
I don't know if I'm making sense, but think of when the Supreme Court outlawed segregation in public schools. Just because it was against the law (i.e. "the system" wasn't stopping black kids from integrating anymore), that didn't stop lots of racist white people from continuing to enforce segregation.
These issues, in my opinion, prove to be less pertinent though than the fact that a large part of the population in question continue to make terrible decisions that lead nowhere good, for themselves or society at large. I work with these kids every day, and there are many who are damn near brilliant, and could do or be whatever they want, but choose to do anything except what would be beneficial for themselves.
Zach
QuoteI would agree that there still exist institutional racism, just like there still exists any other kind of racism. However, I don't think it is the huge problem you make it out to be.
QuoteA government sting operation targeting hundreds of employers across Britain has uncovered widespread racial discrimination against workers with African and Asian names.
Researchers sent nearly 3,000 job applications under false identities in an attempt to discover if employers were discriminating against jobseekers with foreign names. Using names recognisably from three different communities – Nazia Mahmood, Mariam Namagembe and Alison Taylor – false identities were created with similar experience and qualifications. Every false applicant had British education and work histories.
They found that an applicant who appeared to be white would send nine applications before receiving a positive response of either an invitation to an interview or an encouraging telephone call. Minority candidates with the same qualifications and experience had to send 16 applications before receiving a similar response.
The alarming results have prompted Jim Knight, the employment minister, to consider barring companies that have been found to have discriminated against employees from applying for government contracts.
"We suspected there was a problem. This uncovers the shocking scale of it," he said. "Candidates with an Asian or African name face real discrimination and this has exposed the fact that companies are missing out on real talent."
All the job vacancies were in the private, public and voluntary sectors and were based in Birmingham, Bradford, Bristol, Glasgow, Leeds, London and Manchester. The report, to be released tomorrow, concludes that there was no plausible explanation for the difference in treatment found between white British and ethnic minority applicants other than racial discrimination.
It also finds that public sector employers were less likely to have discriminated on the grounds of race than those in the private sector.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2009/oct/18/racism-discrimination-employment-undercover
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billvon 3,120
>"I believe that if he belts his pants up over his ass, studies hard in
>school, and stays off drugs, he can become president of the United
>States."
In the 50's, this would have been phrased as "If he stops listening to rock and roll, gets a haircut, studies hard and avoids marijuana, he could become president of the United States."
While hard work and determination are indeed critical to anyone's success, conforming to the current standards of societal respectability are not.
>school, and stays off drugs, he can become president of the United
>States."
In the 50's, this would have been phrased as "If he stops listening to rock and roll, gets a haircut, studies hard and avoids marijuana, he could become president of the United States."
While hard work and determination are indeed critical to anyone's success, conforming to the current standards of societal respectability are not.
Zach 0
Good point Bill. Right or wrong though we send messages everyday to potential employers, clients, or students in the way we walk, talk, dress, behave. I don't think of myself as a person who follows trends because its the socially acceptable thing, but right or wrong (and these are obviously two seperate issues that are being discussed simultaneously -institutional racism/choices people make) sometimes you have to go along to get along (I really hope no one takes that rediculcously out of context and starts quoting shit about how people went along in Nazi Germany, Rawanda, etc. Obviously that's not what I'm talking about or how I mean the phrase to be taken).
Dreamdancer, I never disagreed with you. I still don't. I'm just saying you're viewpoint seems (to me) one sided. I just think that there are many other things to take into account IN ADDITION TO institutional racism.
Zach
Dreamdancer, I never disagreed with you. I still don't. I'm just saying you're viewpoint seems (to me) one sided. I just think that there are many other things to take into account IN ADDITION TO institutional racism.
Zach
Thanks. Both my parents, and every one in their family worked hard (i.e., my uncles and aunts). It was expected in my culture. No excuses, nor reasons, were accepted for not working hard. It was uniformly applied.
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