CIHCS

[billvon 3,176]

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CIHCS Strikes as Healthcare Debate Continues

(CNS/Newswire) 10:11am September 22, 2009
UPDATED: 4:15pm September 22, 2009

WASHINGTON - As the debate over healthcare has raged in Congress, some political activists have been dealing with health problems of their own. CICHS, or catastrophic intracrainial hypertension syndrome, has begun to claim victims from Washington, DC to California.

"It's a serious problem," said Dr. Jack Florey, a neurosurgeon at Dade County Hospital in Miami. "It can be fatal unless the victim can be treated immediately."

Victims of CICHS risk serious neurologic damage and blood loss. The danger to people nearby is minimal, although some people have reported being hit by debris.

"Some people have used the word 'explosion' to describe CIHCS, but that's inaccurate," Florey explained. "It rarely gets to that stage, and even then it's more of a rapid disassembly event than an actual explosion." He added that immediate care is critical before the victim reaches that point.

Several victims have survived the ordeal. "It really did feel like my head was going to explode," said Marilyn Santos, a conservative activist and parent of three. "When my child told me they had to do a report on Barack Obama, all I could see was white, I heard a ringing in my ears, and my head began to feel like it was full of pressure. I recovered when she told me it could be either a report on his accomplishments or his failures."

Other victims have not been quite as lucky. Ted Marunder, a truck driver from Tempe, Arizona, described his brush with death on a highway outside Mobile, Alabama from his hospital bed.

"I'd been diagnosed with ODS - Obama Derangement Syndrome - and was taking medication for it," said the 49 year old trucker. "My doctor had warned me about right wing radio. Then, over the CB, I heard Big Hammer talk about how Obama was going to force me pay hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to support gay pregnant illegal immigrants. I saw red, started screaming, and drove my truck right into a tree."

Paramedics found Marunder in his truck with blood coming out of his ears and eyes. He is expected to recover fully.

Media coverage of this dangerous condition has increased since popular conservative pundit Michelle Malkin had a close call with CIHCS outside a hospital in Madison, Wisconsin. She went to the hospital to speak against the Obama health plan, and was asked a question about socialized Veteran's Administration hospitals.

"She was very fortunate," Dr. Florey explained. "She experienced some disassembly, but was right outside the hospital, and received care immediately. She lost some blood and some cerebral mass but her prognosis is good."

Fans say her postings on her blog, www.michellemalkin.com, have continued without interruption.

The CDC has posted an informational page on their website (www.cdc.org) to help people identify and treat CIHCS. It has been reprinted here with permission.


Identifying At-Risk Populations

The following may put you at risk for CICHS:
-More guns in your house than vegetables
-Frequent watching of NASCAR
-Frequent (more than once a week) listening to right wing political commentators
-Irrational fear of black politicians

Prevention

The following steps may help prevent CICHS in at-risk populations:
-Exercise
-A balanced diet heavy in vegetables and fruit
-Education
-Independent thought

Identification:

To identify someone who is at risk of being injured through CICHS, look for the following signs:
-Red and/or purple face
-Altered speech patterns, with frequent references to terms like "socialism" "death boards" and "kenyan birth certificates"
-Slurred and/or forced speech, emphasizing inappropriate words like "HUSSEIN"
-Bulging eyeballs
-Spittle flying from mouth
-Red and/or purple face

First Aid:
-Remove victim from any sources of right wing propaganda
-Disconnect victim's Internet connection
-Tell victim that Sarah Palin has been appointed as Vice President
-Have victim take liquids by mouth, especially beer and wine

[StreetScooby 5]

Reading this made my realize that I've actually never counted the vegetables in my house

We are all engines of karma