The Newest Car

[wmw999 2,584]

(got this from my brother, the motorhead)
Congressional Motors Announces The First Car for 2012, The Pelosi

It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors.

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-elect ric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again -- with a vengeance.

We've subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you'll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2012 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that's a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn't skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you'll have the sec urity knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don't stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM's Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes -- even in the choppy waters of aCape Cod inlet. Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard.

Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you'll never miss a segment of NPR again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit's famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don't own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you're supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an MSRP starting at only $629,999.99, it's affordable too. Don't forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you'd choose it over the import brands, even if they were still legal.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[quade 4]

I find it fascinating that whoever wrote this seems to have no idea whatsoever what the issues surrounding the bailout are.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[wmw999 2,584]

True dat. It's just stupid fun.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[NewGuy2005 53]

Quote

I find it fascinating that whoever wrote this seems to have no idea whatsoever what the issues surrounding the bailout are.

Either that, or he's just trying to be funny.

[Ion01 2]

Thats hilarious! It was nice to come out of a long meeting at work and get to my desk to read this.

[rushmc 23]

Quote

True dat. It's just stupid fun.

Wendy W.

I have to wonder if the $629,999.99 price tag is because that is what it costs to make or because of what a dollar might be worth when the first one comes off the line

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[riddler 0]

Aren't the three men in the picture from that movie "Beer"?

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[kelpdiver 2]

Quote

I find it fascinating that whoever wrote this seems to have no idea whatsoever what the issues surrounding the bailout are.

You just like the right wingers who can't see the humor in Colbert.

It's only funny when it's about the other guys, right?

[kallend 2,146]

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I find it fascinating that whoever wrote this seems to have no idea whatsoever what the issues surrounding the bailout are.

You just like the right wingers who can't see the humor in Colbert.

It's only funny when it's about the other guys, right?

But no-one needs to fabricate jokes about Bush, Cheney or Palin. They ARE jokes.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[wmw999 2,584]

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. And that's not funny!


Note: I'm quite, quite liberal, and enough of a feminist to be proud to call myself one.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[micro 0]

thanks for a good laugh Wendy. your good sense of humor, which is absent in some others here is quite nice to see.

I miss Lee.
And JP.
And Chris. And...

[kelpdiver 2]

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You just like the right wingers who can't see the humor in Colbert.

It's only funny when it's about the other guys, right?

But no-one needs to fabricate jokes about Bush, Cheney or Palin. They ARE jokes.

It will be interesting to see how successful Stewart and Colbert remain with the Obama Administration. Based on local experience in SF, there's no shortage of funny material, but as I suggest, many people prefer political humor only when it involves the opposition.

[billvon 3,109]

It will never sell without more cupholders. Put those in and you got a winner.

[billvon 3,109]

>It will be interesting to see how successful Stewart and Colbert remain with
>the Obama Administration.

Stewart will have a little trouble, Colbert will do even better. Colbert's schtick is making fun of the more angry and outrageous right wing pundits, and they will likelt be angrier and more outrageous for the next 8 years or so.

[kelpdiver 2]

Quote

>It will be interesting to see how successful Stewart and Colbert remain with
>the Obama Administration.

Stewart will have a little trouble, Colbert will do even better. Colbert's schtick is making fun of the more angry and outrageous right wing pundits, and they will likelt be angrier and more outrageous for the next 8 years or so.

He makes fun of the left while doing the angry right wing schtick. With the GOP powerless, the majority of the zingers will be aimed left now.

Maybe that will gain some angry whiteys who don't realize it's schtick, think they're watching a younger Bill Reilly (papabear).

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

I think Stewart will do ok, he was pretty brutal toward Hillary Clinton during the primaries. As long as politicians (or anyone else) does stupid shit, he'll be there to make fun of them.

And that picture is of a '70's "Citycar" electric car. My neighbors had one. It was pretty useless.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[billvon 3,109]

>He makes fun of the left while doing the angry right wing schtick. With the
>GOP powerless, the majority of the zingers will be aimed left now.

I think a powerless GOP will result in much more angry right wingers, resulting in a lot of material for him. Rush Limbaugh as angry anti-Obamaite will be a lot more fruitful (in terms of comic material) as Rush Limbaugh as a Bush apologist.

>Maybe that will gain some angry whiteys who don't realize it's schtick,
>think they're watching a younger Bill Reilly . . .

I can think of one White House dinner planner who made that mistake!

[rushmc 23]

Quote

>He makes fun of the left while doing the angry right wing schtick. With the
>GOP powerless, the majority of the zingers will be aimed left now.

I think a powerless GOP will result in much more angry right wingers, resulting in a lot of material for him. Rush Limbaugh as angry anti-Obamaite will be a lot more fruitful (in terms of comic material) as Rush Limbaugh as a Bush apologist.

>Maybe that will gain some angry whiteys who don't realize it's schtick,
>think they're watching a younger Bill Reilly . . .

I can think of one White House dinner planner who made that mistake!

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[quade 4]

Quote

Quote

I find it fascinating that whoever wrote this seems to have no idea whatsoever what the issues surrounding the bailout are.

You just like the right wingers who can't see the humor in Colbert.

It's only funny when it's about the other guys, right?

No. It's funny when it's actually about the thing that is in question.

There is a ton of funny stuff about the auto bailout. To suggest that Pelosi and the rest of the left are the ones that have caused the problem and would naturally result in the things being talked about in that piece is off the mark. That's not what caused the problems. In fact, just the opposite, if Detroit had been a bit more competitive to begin with they may not have lost quite so much market share.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[rushmc 23]

Quote

Quote

Quote

I find it fascinating that whoever wrote this seems to have no idea whatsoever what the issues surrounding the bailout are.

You just like the right wingers who can't see the humor in Colbert.

It's only funny when it's about the other guys, right?

No. It's funny when it's actually about the thing that is in question.

There is a ton of funny stuff about the auto bailout. To suggest that Pelosi and the rest of the left are the ones that have caused the problem and would naturally result in the things being talked about in that piece is off the mark. That's not what caused the problems. In fact, just the opposite, if Detroit had been a bit more competitive to begin with they may not have lost quite so much market share.

The goverment has the largest piece of the blame pie if you really care to look into. I dont give a rats ass which party you want to hang it on.

The very ass holes that caused this mess now want to fix it.

Glad they are not riggers.......

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[quade 4]

Quote

The goverment has the largest piece of the blame pie if you really care to look into.

Only if you're talking about the commercial paper market and credit default swap oversight issues.

The SALES of US cars because of their slow witted attempts to constantly push bigger and bigger trucks and SUVs on the public . . . that's ALL on Detroit's shoulders.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[rushmc 23]

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Quote

The goverment has the largest piece of the blame pie if you really care to look into.

Only if you're talking about the commercial paper market and credit default swap oversight issues.

The SALES of US cars because of their slow witted attempts to constantly push bigger and bigger trucks and SUVs on the public . . . that's ALL on Detroit's shoulders.

Nope,
Where these companies are making cars, not in the US, they are making a fortune.
Also letting the unions suck em dry did not help. Gov regs have just as big a part to play.

Are they totally blamlless ? No, but it is not all thier fault by a long shot

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[idrankwhat 0]

As usual, Congressional Motors is already behind.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122928340145004821.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

When this becomes available in the US do you think that WalMart will be the distributor?

[pirana 0]

Quote

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. And that's not funny!


Note: I'm quite, quite liberal, and enough of a feminist to be proud to call myself one.

Wendy W.

I don't get it.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[kelpdiver 2]

Quote

Quote

Quote

I find it fascinating that whoever wrote this seems to have no idea whatsoever what the issues surrounding the bailout are.

You just like the right wingers who can't see the humor in Colbert.

It's only funny when it's about the other guys, right?

No. It's funny when it's actually about the thing that is in question.

There is a ton of funny stuff about the auto bailout. To suggest that Pelosi and the rest of the left are the ones that have caused the problem and would naturally result in the things being talked about in that piece is off the mark. That's not what caused the problems. In fact, just the opposite, if Detroit had been a bit more competitive to begin with they may not have lost quite so much market share.

Yes, my point stands. You can't take a joke. You won't enjoy the next few years.