My plan for eliminating the US National Debt

[riddler 0]

I have a great idea for getting rid of the national debt. Every taxpayer just has to pay an additional $70,000 to the federal government on this year's taxes (due April 15, 2009). So save your pennies for the next few months and chip in.

Here's how I came up with my plan. The current US debt is about 9.65 trillion dollars. There are roughly 138 million taxpayers in the US. So I used a new math concept called "division", and I had to find a calculator that had space for a lot of trailing zeros. By using "division", I was able to figure out that if every taxpayer paid the government an extra $70,000, in addition to their normal taxes for the year, we can pay back all that debt, and have a little left over to spend on cool things like tanks.

Spread the word. If this idea really takes off, I'll suggest the idea to President Bush. Oh yeah, we will have to tack on an extra $5,000 from each of us to bail out the corporations that have all that yucky mortgage debt, but that's the sort of earmark spending we can live with, I think.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[billvon 3,112]

>So I used a new math concept called "division" . . .

I checked your numbers, and discovered that if the government drastically cuts taxes on the rich, we will actually solve all our budget problems.

Now I know what you're going to say - "I did the math, and that doesn't work." Well, that's because you don't go from your gut, like our leaders do today. I bet you looked that "division" thing up in an elitist book in some smart-person-only library! Look it up in your gut instead; you'll see that lower taxes will do much more to balance the budget than a bunch of brainiacs on the nerd patrol, flashing their elitist calculators and claiming there's a "consensus" when it comes to math.

(PS. that $70,000 number - I noticed you wrote it in ARABIC numerals. I bet Osama bin Laden would love to see you succeed with your anti-American, pro-Arab computations!)

[kallend 2,147]

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>So I used a new math concept called "division" . . .

I checked your numbers, and discovered that if the government drastically cuts taxes on the rich, we will actually solve all our budget problems.

Now I know what you're going to say - "I did the math, and that doesn't work." Well, that's because you don't go from your gut, like our leaders do today. I bet you looked that "division" thing up in an elitist book in some smart-person-only library! Look it up in your gut instead; you'll see that lower taxes will do much more to balance the budget than a bunch of brainiacs on the nerd patrol, flashing their elitist calculators and claiming there's a "consensus" when it comes to math.

(PS. that $70,000 number - I noticed you wrote it in ARABIC numerals. I bet Osama bin Laden would love to see you succeed with your anti-American, pro-Arab computations!)

"Division" - what a joke! He's wrong because he didn't use calculus. The whiz kids on Wall Street have proved that you can create wealth out of nothing by taking derivatives. In fact, it's so much better than actually working that any money made that way is taxed at a lower rate.

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The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[riddler 0]

I guess we have sort of become a forum of whiners.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[NoShitThereIWas 0]

Please don't give Bush anymore "ingenious" ideas. I wouldn't put it past him to put your plan into effect.

Roy Bacon: "Elvises, light your fires."

Sting: "Be yourself no matter what they say."

[Amazon 7]

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Please don't give Bush anymore "ingenious" ideas. I wouldn't put it past him to put your plan into effect.

Hey at least his family and Cheneys family can buy their way our of indentured servitude. They have done just fine with their policies.

[miked10270 0]

I think I may have a simpler idea.

Since ALL this money that's "lost" is actually only theoretical stuff that exists in computers.... Couldn't somebody just sort of "Put-It-Back"? You know, type in a number starting with $ and ending in lots of ,000s... And then say something like: "Well, that's what OUR records show! If you don't like, then take it up with the muzzle of our M1A2 Abrams!"

In effect, it's the proven Enron Tactic, improved with the addition of military hardware.
Mike.

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[riddler 0]

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Couldn't somebody just sort of "Put-It-Back"? You know, type in a number starting with $ and ending in lots of ,000s... And then say something like: "Well, that's what OUR records show! If you don't like, then take it up with the muzzle of our M1A2 Abrams!"

That's not a bad plan considering the Chinese now have a country-wide site license for Microsoft. We could ask Bill G. to program the Chinese computers for automatically deleting their one trillion of our debt. If the Chinese discover it, we'll call it a "feature" of the operating system.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD