Latest National Security Threat

[Jayruss 0]

The Department of Homeland Security announced today its latest threat to our national security. Due to the fact that California has legalized gay marriage the department believes the amount of “Homo Sex” will increase exponentially. Being that the month of June is often a time many homosexuals express their pride at various events throughout the country and world the department has elevated the national threat advisory level to Orange.

“The Department’s duty is to the security of the Nation, “ an anonymous DHS spokesperson mentioned, “as such we must maintain level Orange at least until the November election in California.”

Statistical models derived from the first experiment in gay marriage in the state of California in 2004 reveal that there will be a sharp decline in “homo sex” if the marriage initiative passes in November.

“Only then will the Department be able to reduce the threat level.” However, the Department’s spokes person was quick to point out the department’s stance on lesbian sex.

“The department is in favor of lesbian sex, and encourages it as long as one of the women’s legally married husbands’ is present.”

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"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

[1969912 0]

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[shropshire 0]

What a bunch of fucking arseholes

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[Rookie120 0]

That HAS to be from "The Onion"! Please tell me thats not real!

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck!

[shropshire 0]

It's bugs that are a threat to national security not buggers.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[Jayruss 0]

Quote

That HAS to be from "The Onion"! Please tell me thats not real!

Sadly no

__________________________________________________
"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

[1969912 0]

Quote

It's bugs that are a threat to national security not buggers.

Choked on my beer

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[billvon 3,116]

The underlying reason all of these problems are occurring:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rixkck8QnjY