You may be Taliban if...

[BillyVance 35]

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[CanuckInUSA 0]

13. You may be a Taliban if you think soccer stadiums were built for public executions.

Try not to worry about the things you have no control over

[BillyVance 35]

Quote

13. You may be a Taliban if you think soccer stadiums were built for public executions.

So true... it's a completely fucked up world they live in, all their values are out of whack.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[lawrocket 3]

You might be a Cracker if:

1. You cook meth for a living, but you have a moral objection to crack.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford child support.
3. You have more tattoos than teeth.
4. You scratch your ass with your bare left hand, to keep your right hand pure for packing a chaw
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and huntin'.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T rebuked in the name of Jesus.
7. You consider television dangerous, but accept the trip to Chicago to appear on Jerry Springer.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have text messaging, if you could figure out what "them letters mean."
9. You've ever uttered the phrase to your cousin, "I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should impregnate at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's sheep.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[vortexring 0]

You do make a valid point - but it's worthless. Like the Taliban.

'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'

[kallend 2,184]

Quote

You might be a Cracker if:

1. You cook meth for a living, but you have a moral objection to crack.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford child support.
3. You have more tattoos than teeth.
4. You scratch your ass with your bare left hand, to keep your right hand pure for packing a chaw
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and huntin'.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T rebuked in the name of Jesus.
7. You consider television dangerous, but accept the trip to Chicago to appear on Jerry Springer.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have text messaging, if you could figure out what "them letters mean."
9. You've ever uttered the phrase to your cousin, "I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should impregnate at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's sheep.

13. You divorce your wife but you still love her like she's your sister, because she is.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[lawrocket 3]

I covered the incest angle with No. 9. Perhaps the reference to "cave" was just a little too subtle.

My wife is hotter than your wife.