Financial Responsibility

[pirana 0]

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they will always be a victim

A victim of what ?

Hey Joedirt, ....a victim of WHAT????

They make it up as they go. Everything is somebody else's fault. All their bad circumstances are because somebody screwed them over. There are 10 pages of want ads and they can not find a job. They spend half their paycheck on drugs and alcohol but are about to get their electricity turned off. They get shitty grades but know every episode of every worthless TV show like the back of their hand.

Have you never met people like that?

It appears many on this board are just talking right past each other on this topic. One person says they shouldn't pay for the spinners and sub-woofer for some lazy fuck without a job.

The response asks if they don't think people with Down's and CP deserve help.

HUH?

Continuity folks, continuity.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[wmw999 2,603]

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One person says they shouldn't pay for the spinners and sub-woofer for some lazy fuck without a job.

The response asks if they don't think people with Down's and CP deserve help.

There is no way to cover all of the "deserving" without covering some "undeserving" as well. And there is no way to avoid covering the "undeserving" without ending up with stories (maybe in the newspaper) about "deserving" folks who now have to eat cat food.

It's kind of like arguing over how many innocent people is it OK to jail. There is no perfect system, and there's no way to make one.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Shotgun 1]

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Perhaps another way of looking at your sisters financial irresponsibility would be to compare it to an 'addiction' such as alcoholism or gambling.

In all cases the individuals know they shouldn't be doing what they're doing. But of course, does it stop them? Is it really just down to a lack of good old fashioned self discipline and common sense?

That's a good point. (Not saying that's the case in this situation, but something to consider.)

[warpedskydiver 0]

Indeed good luck to you Karen, I would hate to imagine how this would change your life if you were just some "working stiff" nurse again.

I know from first hand experience what happens when a sibling or loved ones personal problems become a drag on one, emotionally, and financially.

[loumeinhart 0]

Nice post dude. Personal responsiblity is a foreign language to some people. I'm proud to say that I am not or ever will be a 'victim'. Where there is a victim there is a crime. Let this type of people cry in their soup because they couldn't make a way for themselves. This is USA. You can become and do whatever the hell you want...but wait...it takes hard work! Want good med benifits? Get the right job. Want to retire with security? Put money away. Don't like the education system? Homeschool your kids. I want someone to tell me exactly specificly how they CaNNOT get ahead in the next 10 years of their life.

[mnealtx 0]

Because it CAN'T be THEIR fault!!!

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[kbordson 8]

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Because it CAN'T be THEIR fault!!!

You wouldn't believe how many times I have heard that....

And trying to explain action and effect doesn't work because "You just don't understand."

[pirana 0]

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Nice post dude. Personal responsiblity is a foreign language to some people. I'm proud to say that I am not or ever will be a 'victim'. Where there is a victim there is a crime. Let this type of people cry in their soup because they couldn't make a way for themselves. This is USA. You can become and do whatever the hell you want...but wait...it takes hard work! Want good med benifits? Get the right job. Want to retire with security? Put money away. Don't like the education system? Homeschool your kids. I want someone to tell me exactly specificly how they CaNNOT get ahead in the next 10 years of their life.

I'm a big fan and teacher of the DO IT NOW approach. Haven't done it for a while, but I used to do sessions with kids, some in regular schools and some in alternative learning centers. The thing I'd always wrap up with is DO IT NOW. Whatever is it you think you want to do (even acknowledging that it will almost certainly change over time), start NOW. Not after the Simpsons is over, not after you wrap up some trivial meaningless detail that is probably just so much noise, not after you finish coming up with the next excuse - NOW. Leave the room and do SOMETHING that moves you at least incrementally closer to where you want to go. Then do it again tomorrow.

Even if a step goes wrong, even if you have to repeat stuff, keep moving. If nothing else you start to build an attitude of taking charge. There is so much more to what I call Models for Effective Living (examining core beliefs - what you really believe to be true, visioning the future, defining needs, being really honest with yourself and others, and so on and so forth), but the bottom line is moving forward under your own terms. You are going to end up somewhere doing something; why not have as much say in it as possible?

There's an old saying: "When you don't know where you're going, any path will do."

It's fascinating to watch the different reactions. Some will shrink back, almost in terror. They have already been beaten down, probably by parents and teachers and other adults they have been modeling. Some are already there at the other end of the spectrum, again as the result of early coaching and modeling. In the late Elementary thru Middle School years most are near the middle, and still at least somewhat malleable. That's my target audience.

Very fun stuff. I do believe I make a difference, and I strongly encourage responsible adults everywhere to do what they will to contribute likewise.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[mnealtx 0]

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Because it CAN'T be THEIR fault!!!

You wouldn't believe how many times I have heard that....

And trying to explain action and effect doesn't work because "You just don't understand."

My little sister is the exact same way....

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[SkyDekker 1,465]

I agree with you on many levels, however, sometimes even those who have made bad decisions need a boost, specially when they have reached the end of that ladder....

I recently helped one of my employees. She was 47, worked one of the lower paying jobs in my organization and was about to be in a position where she would have to live in a shelter. There are verious reasons as to why, but some of them certainly had to do with her poor decision making. What didn't help was that if it wasn't for bad luck, this lady would not have had any luck at all.

I arranged for the company to pay her bonus early and I gave her $800 out of my own pocket, which she would slowly pay back over time. I also gave her a little "lecture" on the fact that it was time to look after herself and only herself.

She found a place a week later, put down first and last and got the keys. Two days later she dropped dead during our office Christmas party from a massive brain anuerism.

Eventhough her family knows that I gave her that money, they are so poor and greedy that I will never see that back. Who cares? The deed is what it was about. I was able to help somebody who was truly down and out (eventhough some of it was due to her own actions), specially at this time of year. That is what mattered to me....

And as Kallend pointed out in different words, I truly believe Noblesse Oblige....