Feminists Make the Best Lovers

[nerdgirl 0]

New study finds “Feminism and romance go hand in hand.”

Major finding: "men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction."

Researchers also found that “feminist women were more likely to be in a heterosexual romantic relationship than non-feminist women,” and "unflattering feminist stereotypes, that tend to stigmatize feminists as unattractive and sexually unappealing, are unsupported."

Synopsis here: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071015102856.htm.
Primary data here: http://www.springerlink.com/content/6163700x51t5r169/ (PM with an email addy for a pdf copy of the peer-reviewed paper if you are unable to access it from the Springer site.)

Among the men participating in the study, whether they tended to hold feminist attitudes or not, greater sexual satisfaction was found to correlate positively with their wife or female partner’s tendency to feminist attitudes.

To some folks (women and men) the study’s findings are kind of like an announcement from the US Dept of “Duh.”
You mean sex is better when the woman asks for what she wants (rather than expecting the guy to use his ‘psychic powers’ to guess), better when a woman is comfortable enough to respond genuinely (rather than dutifully pretending), and better when a woman is equally empowered to initiate sex. [sarcasm]Dang, the horror - why would any man want that![/sarcasm]

/Marg

p.s. now back to my usual foreign policy/national security/international affairs/CBRN-wonk/macroeconomics-oriented persona

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying

[rushmc 23]

You know some need proof to believe anything

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[1969912 0]

File under "No Shit, Sherlock".

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[rehmwa 2]

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Major finding: "men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction."

That's what they were told to report.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[kallend 2,147]

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Major finding: "men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction."

That's what they were told to report.

Yes Ma'am!

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[rushmc 23]

That's what they were told to report.

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[livendive 8]

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Major finding: "men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction."

That's because they were afraid to answer otherwise.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[livendive 8]

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Major finding: "men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction."

That's what they were told to report.

Shit, Ed beat me to it.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[lawrocket 3]

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"men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction."

There are pluses and minuses. Feminists make great girlfriends and lovers until a breakup. See, there is, from the male perspective, a series of pluses and minuses to the equation. Here are some of my observations from my own personal history:

She Listens to Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill
Plus side
- she is reasonably into important music.
- she is into empowerment and exploring herself
- she'll go down on you in a theater and is not hesitant about trying new things.
Negative side:
- "You Oughtta Know" may be her anthem, and any dude should be scared shitless at that;
- The whole album is about her lousy breakup with Dave Coulier - if alanis is that mad at the Non-Stamos sidekick from Full House, well, imagine how this gal will feel about you should things go wrong.

She wants to read you her poetry
Plus side:
- she lets you into her head to figure it out
- she'll describe her thoughts and feelings of being used
- you may discover the intersting sexual experiences she's into
Negative side:
- you'll know how many guys have dumped her
- you may become acutely aware of the stuff the last dude was able to do to her and lose respect for her
- you may find out that the dude she was talking about in one chapter of poems was your buddy, who upon realizing she talked about her past relationships decided to REALLY mess up all future partners.

Now, I always liked older women because they were comfortable with themselves and knew what they liked and wanted. Indeed, they were always able to teach me new things.

A feminist is, by nature, someone who is trying to believe in her power. And those things that empower a woman are, to me, the sexiest dang things EVER. The thing that attracted me to my wife was what was between her ears. She's ambitious, motivated and intelligent.

Frankly, I am happy with a woman with expectations. I am happy with a woman who has the confidence to go with her convictions.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[PLFXpert 0]

I'm a feminist unless it suits me to be otherwise.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[1969912 0]

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Major finding: "men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction."

That's what they were told to report.

Thanks guys. This thread had the potential to become graphically sexual, possibly even filthy, and it's now been wrecked.

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[jenfly00 0]

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You know some need proof to believe anything

If you know any men who have had beautiful, strong, free and independant partners ...just ask them.

-----------------------
"O brave new world that has such people in it".

[tbrown 26]

This is news ? We figured this out on campus thirty years ago.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[1969912 0]

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You know some need proof to believe anything

If you know any men who have had beautiful, strong, free and independant partners ...just ask them.

What many don't realize is how rare those kind of women are. Sure, "You've come a long way, baby," but not enough of you. Keep up the good work!

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[rushmc 23]

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You know some need proof to believe anything

If you know any men who have had beautiful, strong, free and independant partners ...just ask them.

I do! I have been married to one for 27 years

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[jenfly00 0]

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You know some need proof to believe anything

If you know any men who have had beautiful, strong, free and independant partners ...just ask them.

I do! I have been married to one for 27 years

Wow! Never thought I would see an uber right Republican out himself on an internet forum.

I take back my previous comment ...you really don't like bush, do you?

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"O brave new world that has such people in it".

[rushmc 23]

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You know some need proof to believe anything

If you know any men who have had beautiful, strong, free and independant partners ...just ask them.

I do! I have been married to one for 27 years

Wow! Never thought I would see an uber right Republican out himself on an internet forum.

I take back my previous comment ...you really don't like bush, do you?

Really, I just ask myself about a beautiful, strong, free and independant partners and she puts up with me! that is the crazy part

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[rushmc 23]

By the way, I like less about Bush than you might believe but, I belive dam near nothing that is said about him from perspectives like yours

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[Darius11 12]

I’ll be part of the dah group, but I’ll explain why.

I think there is nothing sexier and better for our society then woman who know what they want and are not afraid to ask for it. I have nothing but respect for strong woman. My SO is strong and speaks her mind and I love it. However I would not consider her a feminist and she would consider her self the anti-feminist.

When I hear the word feminist I think of annoying hypocritical fanatic woman who hate everything that has a penis. They’re so illogical that they can not admit fact and their whole life is navigated by their “cause” not any different then religious fanatics.

I think maybe I understood the term wrong but often the annoying ones are the ones you hear from. The fanatics always make more noise, and when I hear the term feminist that is what I think.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[juanesky 0]

And I agree with you.

"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon

[rehmwa 2]

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I think there is nothing sexier and better for our society then woman who know what they want and are not afraid to ask for it. I have nothing but respect for strong woman. My SO is strong and speaks her mind and I love it. However I would not consider her a feminist and she would consider her self the anti-feminist.

When I hear the word feminist I think of annoying hypocritical fanatic woman who hate everything that has a penis. They’re so illogical that they can not admit fact and their whole life is navigated by their “cause” not any different then religious fanatics.

nicely said

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[nerdgirl 0]

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When I hear the word feminist I think of annoying hypocritical fanatic woman who hate everything that has a penis. They’re so illogical that they can not admit fact and their whole life is navigated by their “cause” not any different then religious fanatics.

I think maybe I understood the term wrong but often the annoying ones are the ones you hear from. The fanatics always make more noise, and when I hear the term feminist that is what I think.

The study is important because it challenges and present data disproving those stereotypes. Assertions that keep being repeated can eventually – but not always – be taken as ‘truth.’

Feminism isn’t monolithic as it has sometimes been portrayed … in the harshest and most unflattering terms possible. The vast majority of feminists (we’re not a monolithic group) very much like men & love the one(s) with whom we choose to be intimate – from their brains to their toes and parts in between. I’d ‘questimate’ around 90-98%; the substantial majority of the remaining percentage being those who are lesbians.

It isn’t about hating (hopefully, as the study conclusions indicate & as my only semi-facetious original commentary elaborates); it’s about being valued as an autonomous member of the human species and having the access (or not being denied access) to opportunities to succeed (or to screw up!) that aren’t solely based on one’s chromosomes.

Who benefits from propagation/repetition of the stereotypes you described?

VR/Marg

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying

[Darius11 12]

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It isn’t about hating (hopefully, as the study conclusions indicate & as my only semi-facetious original commentary elaborates); it’s about being valued as an autonomous member of the human species and having the access (or not being denied access) to opportunities to succeed (or to screw up!) that aren’t solely based on one’s chromosomes.

I am an advocate of what you describe above.
All I was stating is what I think when I hear the word feminist.

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The study is important because it challenges and present data disproving those stereotypes. Assertions that keep being repeated can eventually – but not always – be taken as ‘truth.’

Unfortunately my personal experience is in agreement with the stereotype.

I just have seen a difference between woman who are empowered and independent and ones who consider them selves feminists. Just being a feminist insists that you are part of a group and have a cause. If you’re just a person then you are an individual no need for groups.

I also see a lot of hypocrisy with people I have met who consider them self’s feminist.


Again this is just my opinion on the word feminist.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[PLFXpert 0]

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Again this is just my opinion on the word feminist.

What are your thoughts on the word "road". It's a funny word, isn't it? Row-ad.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[nerdgirl 0]

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[Feminism] isn’t about hating (hopefully, as the study conclusions indicate & as my only semi-facetious original commentary elaborates); about being valued as an autonomous member of the human species and having the access (or not being denied access) to opportunities to succeed (or to screw up!) that aren’t solely based on one’s chromosomes.

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Just being a feminist insists that you are part of a group and have a cause. If you’re just a person then you are an individual no need for groups.

I’m not quite sure how to respond to that … ?

One doesn’t have to self-identify as a “feminist” to believe or to support feminist ideas, like the one with which you agreed! That’s about as close to a core feminist principle (or "cause" perhaps) as can be expressed. Thought experiment: If you support (A) and it’s a core tenet of (B), does that make you a supporter of (B)? (Even if you didn’t realize it? )

I'd be willing to bet that a substantial majority of the US population supports government by "rule of law" even if most couldn't tell you exactly what that phrase meant.

I’m a feminist and have many causes – the ones about which I am passionate are strong national defense, international security, and non-/counter-proliferation of CBRN weapons/terrorism. (Are those what immediately come to mind as strong feminist causes? (ya can take the girl our of the out-of-doors but ya can’t take the out-of-doors out the girl Which part(s) most heavily influenced the other(s)? Which self-identified group most affected which cause? What's the independent and dependent variable? Which direction is the vector?

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I just have seen a difference between woman who are empowered and independent and ones who consider themselves feminists.

Is there any chance that there is an age-factor at play? For most of us who came of age after the Berlin Wall fell, feminism has largely been dismissed/ridiculed/criticized/marginalized, and as you note, the word, has come to be associated with negative stereotypes, which were the kind of negative stereotypes refuted in the referenced study. When I was 16, if asked I probably would have labelled myself as "anti-feminist." Opinions -- like the connotations associated with words -- are great because they can change, evolve, and they don't have to be static!

VR/Marg

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying