Why Global Warming Really IS A Problem

[unformed 0]

As we all know, global warming is melting our ice caps. Well, who cares? Nobody lives in the ice caps. It's making our winters warmer, and soon enough Chicago will be tropical. How is this a bad thing?

Well, I'll tell you how. There's one person we forget about not living in the ice caps. And that, my friends, is Santa Claus.

Now, imagine you were Santa Claus, and every year you left home for Christmas to deliver gifts to little African kids with AIDS, but then one year, suddenly, it's not cold anymore up in the North Pole. No, sir, instead, it's nice and warm. There's rainbows in the sky and polar bears sunbathing and seals drinking margaritas. Now, you know there's African babies with AIDS that want gifts for Christmas, but they're so far away, and well, you could always give them gifts next year.

Santa is the same way. Of course, he would rather spend Christmas with Sandy and his elves out on a little canoe in the North Pole fishing, and so, all these African kids with AIDS wouldn't receive their gifts.

This is an of itself is not really a problem. However, because they don't receive their gifts, and because the don't have parents (they died earlier from AIDS), the kids won't have have anybody to remind them that Santa Claus exists.

Lastly, Santa lives in the hearts of little orphan children with AIDS. So, if he doesn't give them gifts, they will stop believing in him, and his home will go away.

It is our duty to not let Santa be able to fish instead of giving gifts, and therefore it is our duty to not let the icecaps melt.

This ad space for sale.

[rushmc 23]

Quote

As we all know, global warming is melting our ice caps. Well, who cares? Nobody lives in the ice caps. It's making our winters warmer, and soon enough Chicago will be tropical. How is this a bad thing?

Well, I'll tell you how. There's one person we forget about not living in the ice caps. And that, my friends, is Santa Claus.

Now, imagine you were Santa Claus, and every year you left home for Christmas to deliver gifts to little African kids with AIDS, but then one year, suddenly, it's not cold anymore up in the North Pole. No, sir, instead, it's nice and warm. There's rainbows in the sky and polar bears sunbathing and seals drinking margaritas. Now, you know there's African babies with AIDS that want gifts for Christmas, but they're so far away, and well, you could always give them gifts next year.

Santa is the same way. Of course, he would rather spend Christmas with Sandy and his elves out on a little canoe in the North Pole fishing, and so, all these African kids with AIDS wouldn't receive their gifts.

This is an of itself is not really a problem. However, because they don't receive their gifts, and because the don't have parents (they died earlier from AIDS), the kids won't have have anybody to remind them that Santa Claus exists.

Lastly, Santa lives in the hearts of little orphan children with AIDS. So, if he doesn't give them gifts, they will stop believing in him, and his home will go away.

It is our duty to not let Santa be able to fish instead of giving gifts, and therefore it is our duty to not let the icecaps melt.

The "deniers" usually are not saying that the planet is not warming. The "deniers" questions the alarmists position that man is the cause.

Now, the cap melting is another topic all together

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[billvon 3,092]

Actually that was a joke.

But here's some good news: George W. Bush says that he is committed to fighting global warming. Yeah, well, he nipped that in the bud, didn't he? In fact, he says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun.

President Bush has a plan. He says that if we need to, we can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius.

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown.

Has anybody seen the Al Gore movie about global warming and the environment? Well, the Bush administration has seen it and they are very annoyed about the whole thing. As a matter of fact, earlier today, Dick Cheney shot a projectionist.

According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House.

Global warming - can we live with it? It is time we did something, namely resign ourselves to doing nothing. For instance, when sea levels rise, we'll just build levees! Worked for New Orleans.

Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today, Al Gore agreed with him. That's so typical. Two cyborgs, 'Oh, let's blame the humans.'

Al Gore is coming out with a movie about global warming called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' It's described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming, 'Ice Age 2; The Meltdown.' He said, 'It's so much better than that boring Al Gore movie.'

According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we thought.

We estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric hunter-gatherers frozen up in those glaciers. Now, if they simply thaw and wander around, it's not a problem, but if they find a leader -- a Captain Caveman, if you will -- we'll be facing an even more serious problem.

Heating bills this winter are the highest they've been in five years, but President Bush has a plan to combat rising bills. It's called global warming.

(stolen from various late night sources)

[kallend 2,129]

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As a matter of fact, earlier today, Dick Cheney shot a projectionist.

What was he aiming at?

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[rushmc 23]

Some of those I had heard. As to the joke? I suspected but I could not help myself. Can you blame me?

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[Gawain 0]

Quote

Quote

As a matter of fact, earlier today, Dick Cheney shot a projectionist.

What was he aiming at?

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[JeepDiver 0]

Global Warming has been going on for 8,000 years.

GOD should put a stop to it.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,292793,00.html

[Zep 0]

But here's some good news: George W. Bush says that he is committed to fighting global warming. Yeah, well, he nipped that in the bud, didn't he? In fact, he says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun.



Obviously it would be a night attack, not even he would be daft enough to send them in during daylight.
also could your omnipotence please ask him to send some global warming to my mountain as it's bloody freezing here.

Gone fishing

[billvon 3,092]

>ask him to send some global warming to my mountain as it's bloody freezing here.

Jeanie's working on that!

[kschilk 0]

If you want the real facts about global warming....watch South Park. Now THERE is an "inconvenient truth"!

"T'was ever thus."

[mccallj 0]

If global warming makes it warmer at altitude, I'm all for it.

“Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.”

[billvon 3,092]

> If global warming makes it warmer at altitude, I'm all for it.

As long as you don't go higher than about 30,000 feet - then it will indeed make it warmer at altitude! Although here in Socal we often have the opposite problem. When it's 116F on the ground, it's miserable even if it is only 70F at altitude.

[mccallj 0]

The main problem with the current global warming craze is that everyone is focused on the wrong problem. CO2 is not what will be the problem, CO2 will come to be a precious resource as nearly every form of renewable energy requires large amounts of CO2 to grow. Nitrogen and Methane are the real problems because they have several times the effect of CO2 on the atmosphere. The climate also changes naturally over time, so don't buy into the "we are facing the end of the world" hype. While it is a large and important problem it is not going to extinguish all life on the planet in a decade.
I do this for a living when I'm not in school.

“Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.”

[billvon 3,092]

> The main problem with the current global warming craze is that everyone
>is focused on the wrong problem. CO2 is not what will be the problem, CO2
>will come to be a precious resource as nearly every form of renewable
>energy requires large amounts of CO2 to grow.

Right. Note, though, that they grow quite well with the levels of CO2 we have now, and there has never been a shortage. After all, we make CO2 every time we breathe out, as does every animal on the planet. Fires, volcanoes, marshes - they all produce CO2, and up until recently, that's maintained a fairly steady level of CO2 in the atmosphere.

>Nitrogen and Methane are the real problems because they have several
>times the effect of CO2 on the atmosphere.

Is that a joke? Seriously - some times I can't tell.

>The climate also changes naturally over time, so don't buy into the "we are
>facing the end of the world" hype. While it is a large and important
>problem it is not going to extinguish all life on the planet in a decade.

I agree 100%. The world is not going to end tomorrow, or in ten years. It will just be a bit warmer. If we like the consequences of the warming, or we don't mind them too much, then there's not much need to do anything. If we don't like the consequences of the warming, and/or the effects will be very costly to us, then it might make sense to spend less money now to avoid spending more money later. This is an important decision to make, and we should be able to arrive at this decision without the sort of hysterics that extremists on both sides are so fond of.

Unfortunately, climate change denial has become something of a political movement lately. These are people who either attempt to claim that the climate isn't changing, or that there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. (Often they do both at once!) They try to avoid discussing the problem and its solutions due to their political leanings; generally they fear that taking action on CO2 emissions will require greater international cooperation.

[kallend 2,129]

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> The main problem with the current global warming craze is that everyone
>is focused on the wrong problem. CO2 is not what will be the problem, CO2
>will come to be a precious resource as nearly every form of renewable
>energy requires large amounts of CO2 to grow.

Right. Note, though, that they grow quite well with the levels of CO2 we have now, and there has never been a shortage. After all, we make CO2 every time we breathe out, as does every animal on the planet. Fires, volcanoes, marshes - they all produce CO2, and up until recently, that's maintained a fairly steady level of CO2 in the atmosphere.

>Nitrogen and Methane are the real problems because they have several
>times the effect of CO2 on the atmosphere.

Is that a joke? Seriously - some times I can't tell.

.

Surely we should cut down the N2 levels in the atmosphere!

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[billvon 3,092]

>Surely we should cut down the N2 levels in the atmosphere!

And ban dihydrogen monoxide. DHMO will kill you.

[speedy 0]

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Surely we should cut down the N2 levels in the atmosphere!

Percentage wise we are already doing that! With the increase in CO2 in our atmosphere we have less N2 per cubic meter of air.

But I think both you and Bill know what the OP meant to say. It is no different than all the headlines that scream we need to reduce the amount of carbon in the atmosphere.

Dave

Fallschirmsport Marl

[NCclimber 0]

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This is an important decision to make, and we should be able to arrive at this decision without the sort of hysterics that extremists on both sides are so fond of.

Unfortunately, climate change denial has become something of a political movement lately. These are people who either attempt to claim that the climate isn't changing, or that there's absolutely nothing we can do about it.

LOL You talk about the "hysterics that extremists" are fond of and go paint a dishonest picture of AGW skeptics.

Ironic.

[mccallj 0]

The problem with nitrogen is that once you start to get concentrations in the atmosphere above 80% it becomes dangerous because it does a far better job at insulating heat in the atmosphere than CO2 ever could. But only at concentrations exceeding 80% of the atmosphere.
Methane is extremely bad..... Don't get me wrong I love steak but the amount of methane just released from cows is far worse than CO2. Its funny as hell but its actually true.
As far as "it feels hotter", thats because you are paying more attention focusing on the heat, if all you think about while out in hot weather is "its soo hot because of global warming" the brain will naturally think its hotter.

“Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.”

[billvon 3,092]

>You talk about the "hysterics that extremists" are fond of and go
>paint a dishonest picture of AGW skeptics.

Both positions above have been taken by several denier organizations - so I am afraid it is quite accurate. (Needless to say, some people do not take such extremist positions; these people represent the majority.)

[NCclimber 0]

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>You talk about the "hysterics that extremists" are fond of and go
>paint a dishonest picture of AGW skeptics.

Both positions above have been taken by several denier organizations - so I am afraid it is quite accurate. (Needless to say, some most people do not take such extremist positions; these people represent the majority.)

There you go.

[speedy 0]

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>You talk about the "hysterics that extremists" are fond of and go
>paint a dishonest picture of AGW skeptics.

Both positions above have been taken by several denier organizations - so I am afraid it is quite accurate. (Needless to say, some people do not take such extremist positions; these people represent the majority.)

But you are one of those that takes an extremist position. Granted, not always, when on the defensive you mention things such as "moderate warming" or "slight increases in temperature". Then again in other posts you say things like "But do you want to take the risk that Greenland won't melt within 100 years?" or "Why make things worse than they are?"

I will stick with your "moderate warming" and "Slight increase in temperature" and say mans influence has only a moderate and slight influence on what is already a moderate and slight increase in global temperatures since .... well cherry pick your time scale.

Dave

Fallschirmsport Marl

[mccallj 0]

Oh, and don't listen to Al gore on global warming, he is a douche on the subject.

“Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.”

[billvon 3,092]

>Then again in other posts you say things like "But do you want to take
>the risk that Greenland won't melt within 100 years?"

That's a question, not a statement. If we want to take the risk, then fine - decide to take it. Just don't complain about it if and when it happens.

>or "Why make things worse than they are?"

Do moderates propose making things worse than they are? If so, I think you may have a different definition of moderate than I do!