So I'm a Republican now.

[SpeedRacer 1]

I filled out the form to change my party affiliation when I renewed my driver's license. I just got the voter notification card back in the mail today, and there it is in black & white. "Party: REPUBLICAN" just above my name.

So do you think people can tell I'm a Republican now, just by looking at me? Like from across the street?

Speed Racer
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[warpedskydiver 0]

I changed myself into a black man once, just for giggles.

Forms are fun to fill out.

[SpeedRacer 1]

Quote

I changed myself into a black man once, just for giggles.

Forms are fun to fill out.

let me guess: you wanted to see if it would make your dick grow, right?

Speed Racer
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[1969912 0]

Quote

I changed myself into a black man once, just for giggles.

Forms are fun to fill out.

I did that on an FFL transfer form once. The clerk at the store was not impressed.

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[SpeedRacer 1]

We're All Republicans Now

Speed Racer
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[kallend 2,184]

Quote

So do you think people can tell I'm a Republican now, just by looking at me? Like from across the street?

Maybe. How well did the surgeons hide the lobotomy scar?

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[Lucky... 0]

Quote

I filled out the form to change my party affiliation when I renewed my driver's license. I just got the voter notification card back in the mail today, and there it is in black & white. "Party: REPUBLICAN" just above my name.

So do you think people can tell I'm a Republican now, just by looking at me? Like from across the street?

I dunno, is your Swastika showing?

[SpeedRacer 1]

So, do I need special equipment now that I'm a Republican?

Shit I don't even own a gun.

However, I am drinking gin & tonics tonight. Is that an acceptable Republican drink? It seemed kinda "Preppy."

Speed Racer
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[akarunway 1]

Quote

So, do I need special equipment now that I'm a Republican?

Shit I don't even own a gun.

However, I am drinking gin & tonics tonight. Is that an acceptable Republican drink? It seemed kinda "Preppy."

As long as it's GOOD gin w/ 3 limes.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[SpeedRacer 1]

Wasn't it Republicans who invented the "Three Martini Lunch"?

Speed Racer
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[Amazon 7]

Quote

So, do I need special equipment now that I'm a Republican?

Shit I don't even own a gun.

However, I am drinking gin & tonics tonight. Is that an acceptable Republican drink? It seemed kinda "Preppy."

You just need a large bankroll.... otherwise you will never get laid again.. at least by women.. Now you MIGHT be able to get a Congressman or Senator from Idaho to take real interest.

[1969912 0]

You should start by reading some early literature. P.J. O'Rourke (a liberal-hating Libertarian, actually) is a good author to start with. He wrote "Give War a Chance", "Peace Kills: America's Fun New Imperialism" and "Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government" in recent years. In the March 1979 issue of National Lampoon he wrote a pretty good six page story. The dowload link is a bit slow because it's on WayBack Machine. A pic of the title page is attached.

http://web.archive.org/web/20030124091317/http://www.nationallampoon.com/flashbacks/how2/how2.html

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[SpeedRacer 1]

OBVIOUSLY there are different elements to the Republican party.

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[1969912 0]

Quote

OBVIOUSLY there are different elements to the Republican party.

So you read it?

He was a Hippie Maoist in the 60's then sometime during the 70's he did a 180. In one of his books he said that while protesting the Vietnam war, a veteran walked up and punched him in the nose and started his conversion. He might have been joking.

His current writings are very witty and good. Definitely worth looking at.

A couple quotes:



The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
P. J. O'Rourke


The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free.
P. J. O'Rourke

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[Lucky... 0]

Quote

OBVIOUSLY there are different elements to the Republican party.

Yes:

1) Moral right -

- kills stem cell research

- hates gays

- wants to use tax money to further forced Christianity in schools (vouchers)

- Thinks the flag really matters

- wants to remove choice from all people in the direction of tehir ives, reduce it to some broad scripture to be determined by whichever dictatorial mollestor is in charge

- etc...

2) Fiscal right

- wants to claim fiscal conservatism and live off Eisenhower's principals from 50 years ago, uses the Cart admni to describe the contemporary dems, and claims all of Clinton's successes were the doing of the right or just plain ignore them

- wants to make your employers med insurance benefits taxable

- wants to eliminate inheritance taxes

- wants to deny kids in poverty any/most medical coverage

- wants to continue to throw 100's of billions at a so-called war of corporate profit

- wants to eliminate txes for the rich

- thinks the debt is just a number, the recent mega-crash of the US dollar is just a slight trend and not associated with the booming Republican debt

- thinks he commies are still a threat

- thinks the voctims of Katrina were "lucky" so there is no need to help them too much

- etc........





So exactly which element of the Republican Party do you find appealing? Honestly, err, I mean which relative do you adore so much that you would go Republican?

[SpeedRacer 1]

Quote

So exactly which element of the Republican Party do you find appealing? Honestly, err, I mean which relative do you adore so much that you would go Republican?

I switched to the Republican party so that I could vote for Ron Paul in the Republican primaries.

The day after the primaries I will switch back to Libertarian.

Speed Racer
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[nerdgirl 0]

Quote

The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free.
P. J. O'Rourke

That's a fantastic quote ... love the latter part!

Amazing and humbling document!

VR/Marg

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying

[NWFlyer 2]

PJ's all about equal-opportunity mockery. Pretty much everyone ends up on some kind of skewer at some point or another. It's funny writing, and if you can look past whether or not you agree with him, you can laugh your ass off whether you agree with it or not. That's why I've always enjoyed him. (Though I'll never forget being told by a limousine liberal biotch that I worked with years ago that I couldn't possibly be enjoying the collection of Anna Quindlen's columns that I was reading at the time and also enjoy PJ O'Rourke.)

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[1969912 0]

Yeah, PJ is an equal opportunity kinda guy. I gave SeedRacer one of his early National Lampoon articles because I figured he was messing with us. He wrote some crazy stuff for National Lampoon. Fortunately he has retained his sense of humor.

Have you read "How to Explain Conservatism to Your Squishy Liberal Friends: Individualism 'R' Us"?

Here's a link:

http://www.buildfreedom.com/tribute/o'rourke/explain.html



Here is a link to pdf's of one of his NatLamp articles that might be considered "culturally insensitive" today. He didn't mean any harm, I'm sure. NatLamp was pretty much on the cutting edge of humor/parody during a period of big change. I remember reading it as a kid and just cracking up, but have not had time to re-read it yet.

http://www.olimu.com/Notes/Foreigners/Foreigners.htm

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[1969912 0]

A good one from Weekly Standard:

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Utilities/printer_preview.asp?idArticle=5644

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[SpeedRacer 1]

Quote

Have you read "How to Explain Conservatism to Your Squishy Liberal Friends: Individualism 'R' Us"?

good article. I agree with him, and I call it "liberalism" I'm a small-government liberal.

However, he's only telling one side. The definition of conservative is : 1. disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change. (from dictionary.com)

Unfortunately, many who call themselves conservatives will use big government to enforce those ideals. That's why so many conservatives want the government to police our bedrooms and other aspects of our personal lives, and to do so using expensive and aggressive government-run programs.

One of the old institutions that SOME conservatives also want to preserve is the old principle of eternal warfare and imperialism. In fact, it seems that in the minds of many Conservatives, militarism and patriotism are the same thing.
War is the most expensive big government program of all, and imperialism is big government on steroids.

That's why I call myself a liberal, not a conservative. And yes, I would gladly do away with many of the big government economic safety nets if it would mean we could also do away with this whole World Policeman trip we're on.

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[tbrown 26]

So do you think people can tell I'm a Republican now, just by looking at me? Like from across the street?

Well, actually the horns on your head are a dead giveaway from a good hundred yards.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[kallend 2,184]

Quote

Quote

The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free.
P. J. O'Rourke

That's a fantastic quote ... love the latter part!

Amazing and humbling document!

VR/Marg

I disagree; it's superficially clever but incorrect. O'R has completely forgotten about the US Code. Title 26 ALONE runs to 9,471 pages and over 7 million words. There are 49 other Titles and then some appendices. THEN there are the State documents.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[1969912 0]

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
P.J. O'Rourke


Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P.J. O'Rourke



The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
P.J. O'Rourke



France is like a great compass, which ever way they point to, go the complete opposite direction and you'll be fine.
P.J. O'Rourke



The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
P.J. O'Rourke

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[kallend 2,184]

Quote

France is like a great compass, which ever way they point to, go the complete opposite direction and you'll be fine.
P.J. O'Rourke

We tried that in 2003, and look what a quagmire THAT landed us in.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.