Is buying your child birth control supporting/encouraging sex?

[Conundrum 1]

Just reading a discussion about this sort of thing on another board. Wanted to see what you guys had to say about it.

[FIREFLYR 0]

Only if you spring for the hotel and the six-pack too.
~J

"One flew East,and one flew West..............one flew over the cuckoo's nest"
"There's absolutely no excuse for the way I'm about to act"

[Hambone 0]

I think that kids are going to have sex. Kids make bad decisions, thats what makes them kids. Hell Adults make bad decisions. Getting birthcontrol isn't encouraging its safe guarding against the event that a momentary lapse in judgement becoming an 18+ year event.

Yeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama

[gontleman 0]

I can't even think of how you could give them the birth control and discuss it without essentially supporting the decision.

Because inevitably what it brings across, more often than not, is: "I don't want you to have sex, but I suppose/know you're likely to engage in sexual activity. So take this for when/if the situation arises."

It's like giving them to keys to the car and telling them not to drive while you're away on vacation.

I think the better choice of words is that you're "enabling" the child to feel more secure in their decision to be sexually active. I guess that counts as "supporting" it.

[chaoskitty 0]

Agreed. While protecting kids from the results of a bad decision, its also taking away the "scare" of any consequences... making the decision to make the wrong decision a lot easier.

[wmw999 2,588]

In the same manner that telling your child to go find a policeman if he's lost is encouraging wandering around alone.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Thanatos340 1]

This is something that I have given alot of thought to lately (Having a 15 year old daughter that lives in the county that once had the highest per capita teen pregnancy rate in the state).

I still dont have an answer to this although I do know that if she ASKED I would either Lock her in her room for the next 5 years or take her to the doc immediately and make sure the prescriptions were paid for. Not sure which.

(Something tells me that she would go to one of her Aunts first as asking me would assure that every male under 20 that she ever met suddenly end up missing never to be heard from again)

[narcimund 0]

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It's like giving them to keys to the car and telling them not to drive while you're away on vacation.

If kids in general couldn't be stopped from breaking into their parents' cars to take them for drives, it might be a good idea to do exactly this. Either that or don't have kids. It's better to bend to the inevitable than to break your head against it.

Luckily kids mostly don't break into cars, but they mostly DO have sex.

And by and large they're not going to stop. So getting used to that and addressing it so the consequences of the nearly-inevitable aren't life-destroying sounds like a pretty good idea to me.

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[Lindercles 0]

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In the same manner that telling your child to go find a policeman if he's lost is encouraging wandering around alone.

Wendy W.

To be fair, it would only be equivalent if you actually gave your child a police officer and then told them to talk to him if they were out wandering around alone.

[sharimcm 0]

When I was younger, after missing days from school from incapacitating cramps, my mother took me took the doctor. The doctor suggested putting me on birth control to help with the pain, etc. At that time, I was taking the prescription to feel better, not to feel better about having sex. In fact, at that time, I will still a virgin, and stayed that way for about a year. I don't think buying pills is encouraging kids if they're brought up with morals they can live by. Just my two cents if it's worth anything.

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[misskriss 0]

I have three teenaged daughters and we have had an open forum about sex in our household for as long as I can remember. I wanted them to feel completely comfortable talking with me about sex or anything else. Sometimes they ask me questions I'm not sure I want to answer...LOL We have talked at length about the complications that go with having sex not only physically but emotionally. We've talked about STD's and unplanned pregnancy. We've talked about why waiting is important. I would not put my daughters on birth control "just in case" they decided to have sex, however, if they came to me and asked for it I would most probably do it. That would be of course, after we talked more about how they were feeling, what was going on in their lives, how old they are when they asked etc. They know that they can ask me for this because I have made it safe for them to do so. They know that they can come to me with ANYTHING. It's very tricky because as much as I want them to wait forever I do realize that one day they probably will have sex and I want them to be protected. So with all of that I believe that if I just put them on birth control and provided them with condoms then I would be giving them permission to go have sex. By making them come to me and ask me for birth control then it opens up more discussion.

[Conundrum 1]

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In the same manner that telling your child to go find a policeman if he's lost is encouraging wandering around alone.

Wendy W.

I don't really see how that's the same at all.

[Butters 0]

Does it really matter what the adults think? Ask the kids. When I was in highschool I don't believe the kids thought it was supporting or encouraging sex. However, the kids whose parents put them on birth control tended to have sex shortly after. Just food for thought.

"That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch

[Conundrum 1]

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When I was younger, after missing days from school from incapacitating cramps, my mother took me took the doctor. The doctor suggested putting me on birth control to help with the pain, etc. At that time, I was taking the prescription to feel better, not to feel better about having sex. In fact, at that time, I will still a virgin, and stayed that way for about a year. I don't think buying pills is encouraging kids if they're brought up with morals they can live by. Just my two cents if it's worth anything.

That's a completely different situation, though. You weren't given birth control pills to have safer sex, you were given them to lessen the pain.

[pfloyd 0]

Is giving your kid a crack pipe encouraging them to smoke crack?

---Yes it is the same---

My drinking team has a skydiving problem

[floridadiver81 0]

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I don't think buying pills is encouraging kids if they're brought up with morals they can live by. Just my two cents if it's worth anything.

Teen pregnancy wouldnt be an issue if adults actually did that nowadays. I dont blame kids for having kids. i blame the adults for not teaching higer morals and values. Granted kids make mistakes..i know i made a few. Nothing to the extent of the thread topically luckily..but having a strong foundation as to the consequences is the best way to defend against it!

"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie
"Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye

[Conundrum 1]

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I don't think buying pills is encouraging kids if they're brought up with morals they can live by. Just my two cents if it's worth anything.

Teen pregnancy wouldnt be an issue if adults actually did that nowadays. I dont blame kids for having kids. i blame the adults for not teaching higer morals and values. Granted kids make mistakes..i know i made a few. Nothing to the extent of the thread topically luckily..but having a strong foundation as to the consequences is the best way to defend against it!

Unfortunetly, not a lot of adults even have morals and values anymore.

[misskriss 0]

I just asked my 14 year old daughter if I took her to get on birth control pills would she think I was giving her permission to have sex. She said "No, Mom, I would think it meant you didn't trust me. We've talked about it and you know I would come to you first to talk about it. " She then said.... "but if you just went ahead and put me on the pill when I'm not having sex then I might not tell you if I decide to because I would know I was safe." She then reassured me by saying... " don't worry. I am way afraid of having sex anyway and you know I want to wait."

[shermanator 4]

this poll is too vague for me to answer. you are talking on a strictly, parents knowing the kid is sexually active, right? but there are hundreds of cases where parents buy the child birth control, and it is not for sexual purposes. the poll leaves that out of the equation. many of the girls i know that are on it are on it for regulating irregular/very heavy periods. and those girls were not sexually active when on them, and being on them had nothing to do with them becoming sexually active.

CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
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[skymama 37]

My daughter is 18 and a HS Senior. Yesterday, she told me that a male friend of hers won a cruise vacation and said he wants her to go with him. My 15 year old son immediately said, "if you go, I'm buying you a box of condoms." I added, "and I'm putting you on the pill." She rolled her eyes at us and said we're disgusting.

I've had a lot of talks with my kids about sex. I don't just tell them not to have sex, I explain to them why waiting until they are older is a good idea physically, emotionally and financially. I find examples in everyday life to bring the discussion up.

If my daughter insisted that she was going to have sex, I feel I'd have no choice but to help her with her birth control choices. She'd have to listen to more lectures though and there would suddenly be less occasions where she'd have a lot of free time.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Squeak 17]

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Is giving your kid a crack pipe encouraging them to smoke crack?

---Yes it is the same---

That comment is so ridiculous it's laughable


Most kids (at least in my world) are not going to try crack at a young age, however most kids will explore sex at a young age, . just how many times do you need to have sex to get pregnant again???

OH thats' right only 1, so let me see, since most kids will explore sex at a young age, and it's probably better (unless your religion will punish you) to deal with taking the pill then taking dirty nappies out. I see no issue with responsible parents, Educating their kids properly, and instilling what they consider to be good moral values, and then trusting their kids to make good informed choices, but just incase their choices are not so good, the pill (or other birth control method) is generally favourable to an abortion or being a teen mother

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Squeak 17]

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Unfortunetly, not a lot of adults even have morals and values anymore.

Everyone has morals and values, they just maybe different to yours

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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[Armour666 0]

I think goal of raising children is giving then the common sense and knowledge common sense ability to make decisions and think of the consequences on there own. Just saying no! Not giving the reason and denying the inevitable is just setting up for defiance and failure. Burying birth control just sets up a bad scenario and doesn’t really help in the communication and life consequences department.

SO this one time at band camp.....

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most."

[IanHarrop 42]

Unfortunately none of us will be there when the moment of passion raises its ugly head and we have little control of whio our sons and daughters will be with at that moment, so a conversation may not take place in the 2 minutes the accelerator goes from 30 mph to 150 mph. All we can do in reality, no matter how much our kids tell us they will talk more before they do the actual deed, is hope that we've instilled enough responsibility in them that they won't have unprotected sex.

"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy

[Conundrum 1]

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this poll is too vague for me to answer. you are talking on a strictly, parents knowing the kid is sexually active, right? but there are hundreds of cases where parents buy the child birth control, and it is not for sexual purposes. the poll leaves that out of the equation. many of the girls i know that are on it are on it for regulating irregular/very heavy periods. and those girls were not sexually active when on them, and being on them had nothing to do with them becoming sexually active.

Well, I'm not talking about birth control for other purposes other than a pregnancy preventive.