School day, neo-con style

[billvon 3,132]

8:00AM - pledge of allegiance and optional school prayer. All those wishing to not pray will report to the principal's office for optional janitorial duties.

8:15AM - Science.

The class will discuss issues surrounding disease in large populations, and how the evolution of antibiotic-resistant bacteria causes problems for societies.

An evangelical leader will present a counterpoint, that there is no such thing as evolution at all, and students will go to hell if they believe in such nonsense.

The class will also cover the issues surrounding global warming, and will discuss possible mitigation strategies and ways to plan for possible effects of the warming.

There will be three counterpoints to this debate, including that there is no such thing as global warming, there is such a thing but it's not our fault, and that it is our fault but it will be all good.

10:00AM - Geography.

A videotape will be shown on how pilots navigate the globe using technologies such as GPS, radio navigation and radar. Discussion of how they avoid mountains, and how we measure the heights of mountains for such navigation.

An alternative videotape from the Flat Earth society will be shown to give the students both sides of the story. It will demonstrate how global navigation is not possible, and that students risk falling off the edge of the earth if they do not use common sense and avoid the edges.

12:00 - Lunch.

1:00PM - History.

The class will read about the Apollo space program and its relevance to the US-USSR arms race, and its effects on US society.

An alternative viewpoint will be expressed by a guest speaker, who will explain that the Apollo space program was an elaborate hoax, and that man could never have gotten to the moon or survived the trip.

2:00PM - Current events.

The class will discuss the events leading up to the 9/11 attacks and how the US has responded to this attack. Concentration will be on how evil and bad terrorists are, and how much we should fear them.

An alternative will be presented as well. The class will be shown a documentary on how 9/11 was all the Bush administration's fault, and how the buildings were blown up by american agents.

2:45PM - Daily quiz. Students will be quizzed on the day's topics. Extra credit for those who make up their own conspiracy-based or religion-based alternative explanation for the day's issues.

3PM - Dismissal.

[Butters 0]

Do you understand the values of a neoconservatist?

"That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch

[NCclimber 0]

Quote

Do you understand the values of a neoconservatist?

Shhh! He's on a roll.

[steveorino 7]

Pretty funny. How about LIBERAL school agenda

8:15 Burn the flag

8:30 Math -- everybody use calculators, if you are wrong we will put the right answer in there for you so you won't feel bad about yourself

9:30 History -- It is whitey's fault

10:30 Spelin -- nat thot it madderz

11:30 Lunch -- free granola and wheat germ for everyone.

1:00 Women's studies -- it is male whitey's fault

2:00 co-ed sports -- Come and get your trophy for showing up

3:00 class dismissed -- Progress reports go out today -- Everybody got an "S" for satisfactory

steveOrino

[TypicalFish 0]

Quote

Pretty funny. How about LIBERAL school agenda

8:15 Burn the flag

8:30 Math -- everybody use calculators, if you are wrong we will put the right answer in there for you so you won't feel bad about yourself

9:30 History -- It is whitey's fault

10:30 Spelin -- nat thot it madderz

11:30 Lunch -- free granola and wheat germ for everyone.

1:00 Women's studies -- it is male whitey's fault

2:00 co-ed sports -- Come and get your trophy for showing up

3:00 class dismissed -- Progress reports go out today -- Everybody got an "S" for satisfactory

OK, I AM a self-described liberal and have to admit this is pretty damned funny.

"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET

[Gawain 0]

That's funny stuff...

Bill, yours too...

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[azdav 0]

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Pretty funny. How about LIBERAL school agenda

It would be funny if it wasn't true

and you forgot the free breakfast

Noooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!! M.P.F.C.

[narcimund 0]

Quote

It would be funny if it wasn't true

I think you've lost track of the meaning of the word "true".

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[rehmwa 2]

You forgot:

the videos to teach 7 year olds how to put on condoms

gay awareness year

fund raisers

assemblies to teach the kids how to sell the latest local tax raise vote to their parents

counseling the children to find out if the parents voted yes on the last tax raise - if they didn't, call the social workers on them for abuse

'redistribution' of the A grades from the students that studied to those that didn't

more fund raisers

Math class - listen to the teacher rant about the Bush administration for 1 hour, then class adjourned

detention for any kid whose parents make more than $40,000 per year - they shouldn't be in class anyway

gym class prep with helmuts and bubblewrap prior to a rousing gym session of peek a boo - everyone wins


Billvon forgot:

automatic A's for parents that contributed to the 'new gym'

extra practices and high grades for the top jocks

cheerleader skirt shortening sessions (but not too short)

shop for the boys, home-ec for the girls

dodge ball in gym, all day every day

math and science for the boys, more home ec for the girls

nuns with rulers

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Richards 0]

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Quote

Pretty funny. How about LIBERAL school agenda

8:15 Burn the flag

8:30 Math -- everybody use calculators, if you are wrong we will put the right answer in there for you so you won't feel bad about yourself

9:30 History -- It is whitey's fault

10:30 Spelin -- nat thot it madderz

11:30 Lunch -- free granola and wheat germ for everyone.

1:00 Women's studies -- it is male whitey's fault

2:00 co-ed sports -- Come and get your trophy for showing up

3:00 class dismissed -- Progress reports go out today -- Everybody got an "S" for satisfactory

Just wait for it, it is not too far off.

My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

[kelpdiver 2]

the end conclusion - only nuts (from both ends) take the time to get involved with the school boards.

[Lucky... 0]

Quote

8:30 Math -- everybody use calculators, if you are wrong we will put the right answer in there for you so you won't feel bad about yourself


10:30 Spelin -- nat thot it madderz

Uh, kinda funny considering that Dems are academically more intelligent than Republicans.

[Lucky... 0]

Quote

8:00AM - pledge of allegiance and optional school prayer. All those wishing to not pray will report to the principal's office for optional janitorial duties.

8:15AM - Science.

The class will discuss issues surrounding disease in large populations, and how the evolution of antibiotic-resistant bacteria causes problems for societies.

An evangelical leader will present a counterpoint, that there is no such thing as evolution at all, and students will go to hell if they believe in such nonsense.

The class will also cover the issues surrounding global warming, and will discuss possible mitigation strategies and ways to plan for possible effects of the warming.

There will be three counterpoints to this debate, including that there is no such thing as global warming, there is such a thing but it's not our fault, and that it is our fault but it will be all good.

10:00AM - Geography.

A videotape will be shown on how pilots navigate the globe using technologies such as GPS, radio navigation and radar. Discussion of how they avoid mountains, and how we measure the heights of mountains for such navigation.

An alternative videotape from the Flat Earth society will be shown to give the students both sides of the story. It will demonstrate how global navigation is not possible, and that students risk falling off the edge of the earth if they do not use common sense and avoid the edges.

12:00 - Lunch.

12:45 - vaccinations for those who have medical coverage, the rest must be poor and can pick up garbage while the preferred get their shots

1:00PM - History.

The class will read about the Apollo space program and its relevance to the US-USSR arms race, and its effects on US society.

An alternative viewpoint will be expressed by a guest speaker, who will explain that the Apollo space program was an elaborate hoax, and that man could never have gotten to the moon or survived the trip.

2:00PM - Current events.

The class will discuss the events leading up to the 9/11 attacks and how the US has responded to this attack. Concentration will be on how evil and bad terrorists are, and how much we should fear them.

An alternative will be presented as well. The class will be shown a documentary on how 9/11 was all the Bush administration's fault, and how the buildings were blown up by american agents.

2:45PM - Daily quiz. Students will be quizzed on the day's topics. Extra credit for those who make up their own conspiracy-based or religion-based alternative explanation for the day's issues.

3PM - Dismissal.

There, fixxed it for ya.

[NCclimber 0]

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8:30 Math -- everybody use calculators, if you are wrong we will put the right answer in there for you so you won't feel bad about yourself


10:30 Spelin -- nat thot it madderz

Uh, kinda funny considering that Dems are academically more intelligent than Republicans.

Another moonbat myth.

[steveorino 7]

Quote

Quote

8:30 Math -- everybody use calculators, if you are wrong we will put the right answer in there for you so you won't feel bad about yourself


10:30 Spelin -- nat thot it madderz

Uh, kinda funny considering that Dems are academically more intelligent than Republicans.

I guess they like lowering the playing field.

steveOrino