What do you get when you cross an atheist and a Jehovah's Witness?

[unformed 0]

Somebody knocking at your door for no reason.

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[rhys 0]

I would more likely have the time of day for the the Athiest missionary too..

would be a little more open minded wouldn't they.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[Mockingbird 0]

Blue skies & happy jitters ~Mockingbird
"Why is there something rather than nothing?"

[freeflir29 0]

What's the difference between a Jehovah's witness and a Yugo?


You can close the door on a Jehovah's witness.

[sweetmoose 0]

ha ha ha, I like it

We die only once, but for such a very long time.

I'll believe in ghosts when I catch one in my teeth.

[vortexring 0]

Hahaha - but not round my way - the other day they came round, and on saying 'no thanks' I found I couldn't close the door - they'd put their boot there. No shit!

'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'

[freeflir29 0]

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they'd put their boot there. No shit!

If you slam it hard enough..........it WILL close.

[tdog 0]

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Somebody knocking at your door for no reason.

Normally I am a polite person. But when people knocked on my parent's house door when I was growing up, trying to sell something material, I would just say, "no thank you." When they sold something religious, I would always become a brat...

The following were my top two replies:

1) No thank you, I just purchased the book of atheism from the guy who came yesterday.

2) Hold on, I have a copy of the book you are holding in your hand, that the guy gave me a few days ago.. I was reading it last night, I am really interested, and I have a few questions. Would you mind waiting a moment while I find it, because I really need you to help me, because only you can save me. (Close the door. Never come back)

[vortexring 0]

I have actually invited such people into my house in the past and their generally ok. A few months back some Mormons came round and we had a good laugh - only problem was, after that they decided to become my new best mate and were round constantly.

My Mrs reckons they're like vampires - invite them into your house and you lose all your powers. Or something.

'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'

[freeflir29 0]

I always wanted to come to the door wearing a long black hooded robe, pentagram necklace, and have a big bloody knife in my hand. Then ask them if they would like to come in for a moment.

[tdog 0]

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I have actually invited such people into my house in the past and their generally ok. A few months back some Mormons came round and we had a good laugh - only problem was, after that they decided to become my new best mate and were round constantly.

My Mrs reckons they're like vampires - invite them into your house and you lose all your powers. Or something.

Yes, I have a group of Mormons (well two) that are co-workers at one of my freelance jobs, and they are great people. They did their mission trip to South America and spent their year helping people with life saving aid - not traveling around the US knocking on doors. I respect them even more for that.

I have grown up a bit since I was a kid, but I still don't like traveling salesmen, regardless of what they are selling... It is not that I don't like them as people, just what they are employed to do.

[vortexring 0]

I'm sure that would go down like a concrete parachute!

There is an urban myth I heard once where some dickhead invited in some Mormons and put some LSD in their orange juice........a short while later the 2 missionaries were last seen sprinting up the street at arond Mach 1, as if all the demons from Hell were after them.

Terrible, yes, but no doubt untrue. I hope.

'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'

[happythoughts 0]

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I always wanted to come to the door wearing a long black hooded robe, pentagram necklace, and have a big bloody knife in my hand. Then ask them if they would like to come in for a moment.

A few years ago, my roommate and I were going to the beach at 9am. We had packed beer and sandwiches in a cooler. He saw the JWs coming up the road and slips an "educational video" in.

They knock and he invites them in. They sit down and he offers them a beer from the cooler. Then they figure it out.

They are sitting in a room with a guy who is drinking beer and watching porn at 9am.
Some people just don't have hobbies.

[unformed 0]

Man, I wonder what kinds of stories Jehovah's Witnesses have when they're sitting around the campfire.

"So, this one time this blonde bombshell opened the door completely naked."

"There was this guy watching porn and drinking beer at nine the morning."

"This guy had an altar in his living room where he sacrificed virgins."

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[akarunway 1]

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I always wanted to come to the door wearing a long black hooded robe, pentagram necklace, and have a big bloody knife in my hand. Then ask them if they would like to come in for a moment.

You have to do like an old hippie buddy of mine. He said "Com'n in. But if I have to listen to you then I get equal time" He sat quiely til his turn. Then he launched into sex, drugs and rock and roll. Lit a joint and his ole lady came out topless shakin her tits. NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[Amazon 7]

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I always wanted to come to the door wearing a long black hooded robe, pentagram necklace, and have a big bloody knife in my hand. Then ask them if they would like to come in for a moment

I was thinking about something similar....

EXCEPT...

There is a Christian Family Supply not too far from here.

I would take the outfit... don it.. and go into the store just before All Hallows Eve and see if they had a christian family in stock ... I would like to reserve one for sacrificial purposes on October 31st


This is Christian Family Supply right??

[StreetScooby 5]

The only problem with being an atheist is - there's no holidays in it

We are all engines of karma

[Andy9o8 2]

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The only problem with being an atheist is - there's no holidays in it

You never heard of Drink Christian Babies' Blood Day?





OK, well, it's not that well advertised.

[smiles 0]

The watch tower org in their 'timely but urgent' message...The Kingdom News...2006
The end of false religion is near!

How will false religion end?
God will make it end. God's going to take out all the people and religions, that meddle in war and politics, spread false doctine, and tolerate immoral sex. "In a stroke of perfect justice, he will use her [false religion's--the harlot sitting of the back of a fearsome beast] political paramours as his instrument of execution."

We must flee false religion, but
not into atheism, ......
where can wee fleee?
True religion, that's where!
but...does any religion meet these standards?
Yes, you'll be happy to know it's the
Jehovah's Witnesses.


SMiles

[happythoughts 0]

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The watch tower org in their 'timely but urgent' message...The Kingdom News...2006
The end of false religion is near!

Of course, the first time that they forecast that was in their publications just after WWI 1918.

Then, WW2...

Then, they told my friends that we didn't need to go to college because the "end was near" and we wouldn't need it.

Then, they told my sons friends the same thing 20 years later.

For 20 years...

I'm glad to see that things haven't changed. The end is just around the corner.

[pajarito 0]

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I'm glad to see that things haven't changed. The end is just around the corner.

I responded to the home of a 44 year old man yesterday. He was dead when we got there and apparently had been so for a while. His Mother was standing and crying hysterically at his bedside pleading with him to get up. Sparing you the details, he probably had a heart attack in his sleep. I'm 37 years old now. It really makes one reflect on how short life really is. You could die tomorrow. Then again, you may live for 50 more years. Who knows? The fact remains, however, that you will not escape death. The Bible says that if you've broken God's moral law (lied, stolen (value or time of occurrence is irrelevant), blasphemed (even in jest), committed adultery (even looked with lust at another woman), murdered (even hated someone without cause), etc.), you will be given justice and sent to God's place of punishment called Hell (you will be conscious and it will be eternal). What will you do when you have to stand in judgment for every thought and deed in this lifetime? The time is most assuredly near. Maybe or maybe not for the end of the world but it is for you (and me).

[unformed 0]

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I responded to the home of a 44 year old man yesterday. He was dead when we got there and apparently had been so for a while. His Mother was standing and crying hysterically at his bedside pleading with him to get up. Sparing you the details, he probably had a heart attack in his sleep. I'm 37 years old now. It really makes one reflect on how short life really is. You could die tomorrow.

A friend of mine at 24 was in a car crash and died. Another friend, at 22, woke up one morning to find out she had a rare form of cancer. In two weeks she, too, was dead. A cousin, at 20 or so, and in perfect health, dropped dead of a brain aneurysm while working out.

The world will still go on. Save for a nuclear war or an alien invasion, the world is not ending tomorrow. God is not going to come down one day and say "Okay, I've decided, today is Judgment Day. End of the world! Wala!"

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Then again, you may live for 50 more years. Who knows? The fact remains, however, that you will not escape death. The Bible says (yada, yada, yada).

Fortunately for us, the Bible is wrong.

After we die, we become maggot food, our friends and family remember us, but carry on with their lives, and the world goes on.

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[rhys 0]

>The time is most assuredly near. Maybe or maybe not for the end of the world but it is for you (and me).

Sheesh God Boy, Lay off it will ya!

The only thing that will end the world will be religous nutters fighting each other.

Chill out, have fun and breath....

All humans sin in one way or another. So we all go to hell?

do you recycle, ever thought an impure thought?

we are human, we are animals this world is not here for us.

And lighten up a little.

why don't I want to go to heaven?......

The place is full of fucking christians!

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[pajarito 0]

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The world will still go on. Save for a nuclear war or an alien invasion, the world is not ending tomorrow. God is not going to come down one day and say "Okay, I've decided, today is Judgment Day. End of the world! Wala!"

The time of the end of the world is debatable (no one knows). However, you will die and face judgment for everything you've done. If you had a special earpiece that recorded every thought that has gone through your head in your lifetime, would you be willing to let the world listen to it? God knows your every thought and everything you've done. The world aside, you're Judgment Day is coming soon.

[unformed 0]

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The world will still go on. Save for a nuclear war or an alien invasion, the world is not ending tomorrow. God is not going to come down one day and say "Okay, I've decided, today is Judgment Day. End of the world! Wala!"

The time of the end of the world is debatable (no one knows). However, you will die and face judgment for everything you've done. If you had a special earpiece that recorded every thought that has gone through your head in your lifetime, would you be willing to let the world listen to it? God knows your every thought and everything you've done. The world aside, you're Judgment Day is coming soon.

Nope. Sorry.

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