How many Theists does it take to change a light bulb?

[br0k3n 0]

Q: How many Theists does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1
Their hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray for protection against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None
Candles only. Put a little something in the box.

Baptists: At least 15
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken next Sunday.

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it properly.

Unitarians: ?
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted – all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass around.

Scientologists: Tom Cruise
We may get lucky and he’ll fall off the ladder, or will be kidnapped by Xenu.

Nazarene: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish:
What’s a light bulb?

Courtesy of www.randi.org

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--+ There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.. --+

[Pubwoof 0]

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Scientologists: Tom Cruise
We may get lucky and he’ll fall off the ladder, or will be kidnapped by Xenu.

Wouldn't he just hold onto the bulb and let the world revolve around him?

The glass isn't always half-full OR half-empty. Sometimes, the glass is just too damn big.

[Pubwoof 0]

World Church of the Creator: Whoever does it the fastest (they're afraid of the dark).

The glass isn't always half-full OR half-empty. Sometimes, the glass is just too damn big.

[ExAFO 0]

Evangelicals: 1-Ted Haggard
"Hey Big boy---forget the light bulb. I need some meth and a 'happy ending.'

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[Zee 0]

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Evangelicals: 1-Ted Haggard
"Hey Big boy---forget the light bulb. I need some meth and a 'happy ending.'

But...but.....he tossed the drugs and settled for a massage

Action©Sports

[happythoughts 0]

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Baptists: At least 15
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken next Sunday.

There is just something wrong with a person who makes fun of something as serious as Fried Chicken. That's not an entree, that's a sacrament.

Telling a joke about Jesus and M&Ms will get you in trouble, but fried chicken jokes? Straight to Hell, no doubt.

Anyway...

Jehovahs Witnesses? None. Jesus is returning next week and the bulbs of all the anointed will be perfect once again.

Evangelicals? None. There is nothing to be done. The bulb must repent from its darkness.

[steveorino 7]

Change? Why my mother donated that light bulb, how dare you change it!

steveOrino

[wmw999 2,589]

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Change? Why my mother donated that light bulb, how dare you change it!

ROFLOL!!! Boy have I ever heard that one!

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)