If you can't beat them...

[kallend 2,182]

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for
becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the
Senate and
for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal
when I see
one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone
figures it
out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply
to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me
and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost
$10,000 a
year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have
college age
children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I
would be
most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[rushmc 23]

Gets to the heart of things don't you think?

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[steveorino 7]

Excellant and very funny, if only it wasn't so true.

steveOrino

[D22369 0]

love it!!!!

its so true

Roy

They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

[mnealtx 0]

Outstanding!

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706