History Lesson

[Lindsey 0]

Got this e-mail today....lol.

Thousands of years ago, humans existed as members of small bands of
nomadic hunters and gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains
during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and
lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2
distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives. Once beer was
discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting
for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's
how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what
is known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and
doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning
of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually
evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of
cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept
of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but
like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard
liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note about liberals: most of
their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most
social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in
Hollywood ,group therapists and people from Joisey are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't
"fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still
provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical
doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes
and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own
companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why
most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tame and
created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to
respond to the above before simply laughing and forwarding it. A
Conservative will be so convinced of the absolute truth of this
history that it will be forwarded immediately.

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[unformed 0]

Funny, and sorry for being a spelling nazi, but you have a minor typo.

Quote

Some of these liberal men eventually
evolved into women.

You forgot the 'd' before 'evolved'.

This ad space for sale.

[wmw999 2,584]

Will you marry me?



Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Lindsey 0]

Quote

Will you marry me?



Wendy W.

Do you believe in sex for recreational purposes only?

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[wmw999 2,584]

If it were me and you I'm not sure what the alternative would be .

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[SpeedRacer 1]

except that gun-loving American Thomas Jefferson was an EXTREME liberal for his time. The liberals you describe sound more like socialists.

Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

[Royd 0]

Quote

The liberals you describe sound more like socialists.

Exactly. Wake up and smell the coffee!

[Lindsey 0]

Quote

If it were me and you I'm not sure what the alternative would be .

Wendy W.

Then YES! I would love to be your wife....

Somebody break out the champagne

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[jakee 1,594]

Quote

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and
doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning
of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually
evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Hang on a minute, so before the libs evolved into women were all the conservatives gay?

Do you want to have an ideagasm?

[StreetScooby 5]

LOL!!!

We are all engines of karma