hairyjuan 0 #1 August 25, 2006 This one is enjoyable: I wasraptured by accident, but then I broke the fuck out excerpt: I was walking down by Fenway Park today, and came across the dude with the boards over his torso that tell me I'm going to Hell if I don't take the greasy little flyer he's handing out. I decided to take one-not because I want it, but because it'll be one less piece of crap someone else has to read, kind of my good deed for the day - and my hand touched his for a second. At that second, that exact second, there was this eruption of white light around us. "It's time," I heard the guy whisper, and then FOOM!!! we were flying through space like that scene out of the movie 2001. "Hang on," I yelled, "wait, what, how..." " You must be one of the 144,000," the guy told me. Before I could explain how incredibly dubious that was, we were suddenly standing in a white room with 143,999 others. I was the extra, the doofus who accidently got sucked up in the rapture wake of a guy who spends his days telling women they are going to hell for not being home with the kids. UGH. Imagine the absolute worst party you've ever been to, and then multiply that a billionfold. What a pack of insufferable asshats. I watched Pat Robertson high-fiving Ronald Reagan, watched the two of them link arms and dance around like drunken monkeys. All these rapture ready fools were unutterably self-satisfied down on earth; up there it was almost blinding. Suddenly, there was a roar, and a rumbling. The clouds parted, and all heads turned. We saw Jesus leading a large group of white-clad men and women. There were the apostles, and the angels, and the martyrs. Strangely, they were all carrying violin cases... Read the whole tale here: www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=1961273&mesg_id=1961273 Quite hilariouswe are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively wishers never choose, choosers never wish Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christelsabine 1 #2 August 25, 2006 WOW! Dear! For a second I thought you were talking about someone else - it was you! How's Jesus looking like? Blue eyed, blond hair? dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hairyjuan 0 #3 August 27, 2006 the sun is not blue eyed, blond haired. Hitler was there, though.we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively wishers never choose, choosers never wish Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
idrankwhat 0 #4 August 28, 2006 Quote WOW! Dear! For a second I thought you were talking about someone else - it was you! How's Jesus looking like? Blue eyed, blond hair? More of a dirty blond with a late 70's, early 80's southern rock perm. Not that Nightranger or Cinderella crap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christelsabine 1 #5 August 28, 2006 Naturally curled? dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hairyjuan 0 #6 August 29, 2006 heretics ,all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!evn them!!!!!!!!!!!! HA!we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively wishers never choose, choosers never wish Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
