Note to Republicans:

[SpeedRacer 1]

NOTE TO REPUBLICANS: THE PARTY'S OVER

By Garrison Keillor

Tribune Media Services

People who live in mud huts should not throw mud, especially if it comes from their own roofs. As Scripture says, don't point to the speck in your neighbor's eye when you have a piece of kindling in your own.

I see by the papers that the Republicans want to make an issue of Nancy Pelosi in the congressional races this fall: Would you want a San Francisco woman to be Speaker of the House? Will the podium be repainted in lavender stripes with a disco ball overhead? Will she be borne into the chamber by male dancers with glistening torsos and wearing pink tutus? After all, in the unique worldview of old elephants, San Francisco is a code word for g-a-y, and after assembling a record of government lies, incompetence and disaster, the party in power hopes that the fear of g-a-y-s will pull it through in November.

Running against Nancy Pelosi, a woman who comes from a district where there are known gay persons, is a nice trick, but it does draw attention to the large shambling galoot who is Speaker now, Tom DeLay's enabler for years, a man who, judging by his public mutterances, is about as smart as most high school wrestling coaches. For the past year, Dennis Hastert has been two heartbeats from the presidency. He is a man who seems content just to have a car and driver and three square meals a day. He has no apparent vision beyond the urge to hang onto power. He has succeeded in turning Congress into a branch of the executive branch. If Mr. Hastert becomes the poster boy for the Republican Party, this does not speak well for them as the Party of Ideas.

People who want to take a swing at San Francisco should think twice. Yes, the Irish coffee at Fisherman's Wharf is overpriced, and the bus tour of Haight-Ashbury is disappointing (where are the hippies?), but the Bay Area is the cradle of the computer and software industry, which continues to create jobs for our children. The iPod was not developed by Baptists in Waco. There may be a reason for this. Creative people thrive in a climate of openness and tolerance, since some great ideas start out sounding ridiculous. Creativity is a key to economic progress. Authoritarianism is stifling. I don't believe that Mr. Hewlett and Mr. Packard were gay, but what's important is: In San Francisco, it doesn't matter so much. When the cultural Sturmbannfuhrers try to marshal everyone into straight lines, it has consequences for the economic future of this country.

Meanwhile, the Current Occupant goes on impersonating a president. Somewhere in the quiet leafy recesses of the Bush family, somebody is thinking, "Wrong son. Should've tried the smart one." This one's eyes don't quite focus. Five years in office and he doesn't have a grip on it yet. You stand him up next to Tony Blair at a press conference and the comparison is not kind to Our Guy. Historians are starting to place him at or near the bottom of the list. And one of the basic assumptions of American culture is falling apart: the competence of Republicans.

You might not have always liked Republicans, but you could count on them to manage the bank. They might be lousy tippers, act snooty, talk through their noses, wear spats and splash mud on you as they race their Pierce-Arrows through the village, but you knew they could do the math. To see them produce a ninny and then follow him loyally into the swamp for five years is disconcerting, like seeing the Rolling Stones take up lite jazz. So here we are at an uneasy point in our history, mired in a costly war and getting nowhere, a supine Congress granting absolute power to a president who seems to get smaller and dimmer, and the best the Republicans can offer is San Franciscophobia? This is beyond pitiful. This is violently stupid.

It is painful to look at your father and realize the old man should not be allowed to manage his own money anymore. This is the discovery the country has made about the party in power. They are inept. The checkbook needs to be taken away. They will rant, they will screech, they will wave their canes at you and call you all sorts of names, but you have to do what you have to do.

Speed Racer
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[idrankwhat 0]

Man, those last two paragraphs pretty much sum up why I'm pissed off at the R's. I didn't always agree with some of the philosophy but I always knew what to count on. Not any more. And I'm pissed off at the D's for not being able to utilize the R's failures so we can at very least get ourselves back to a nice, orderly, stagnant gridlock.

[goofyjumper 0]

Quote

Man, those last two paragraphs pretty much sum up why I'm pissed off at the R's. I didn't always agree with some of the philosophy but I always knew what to count on. Not any more. And I'm pissed off at the D's for not being able to utilize the R's failures so we can at very least get ourselves back to a nice, orderly, stagnant gridlock.

Ya, you are very right about the Dems screwing their chances of getting re-elected anytime soon

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Also, statistics have proven that a president almost always get re-elected during a war. Might be a coincidence or not!

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I love and Miss you so much Honey!
Orfun #3 ~ Darla

[kallend 2,182]

Brilliant piece. He hit it right on the spot.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[DaVinci 0]

So just to get this right.

R's are old stuipid people and D's are the only cool people around?

The artical is all fluff with no backbone. I will admit it is written well and does a good job of getting the persons message accross, but it is nothing more than a childish rant. They defend ALL D's and attack ALL R's. And thats just stupid.

[kallend 2,182]

And now the Supremes won't let the Rs get Delay off the ballot.

www.wwlia.org/legalnews/legal2006,1526,Supreme-court-rules-DeLay-must-stay-in-Texas-ballot.html

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[Gawain 0]

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... but the Bay Area is the cradle of the computer and software industry, which continues to create jobs for our children....

The cradle of computer and software industry (and microchips for that matter) are in Silicon Valley, which lies primarily in Santa Clara County, which is not Pelosi's district, it's Michael Honda's (D-CA, 15th). Also, a large bulk of these technology companies' operations aren't there either. Intel's major fabs are nowhere near Silicon Valley. HP may have an HQ there, but mfg and customer support lie elsewhere. Apple's biggest office, it's in Texas. Let's not forget Microsoft.

Don't get me wrong, the bay area is the shit, totally. I love it there, but there has been a brain-drain in the area for a few years, mostly stemming from the internet-bubble-pop.

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[matthewcline 0]

Well misinformation can help stir the competitive juices and help sway your readership. Remember all forms of media are linked to a political party or ideal.

Not one of them is "non-biased" as most claim.

An Instructors first concern is student safety.
So, start being safe, first!!!

[rickjump1 0]

San Francisco woke up and found that normal people, particularly the ones with kids, have left. They are now bending over backwards to get them back with promises of reasonably priced housing. Seems that they were closing down schools for lack of kids. Wonder if it's just the money.

Do your part for global warming: ban beans and hold all popcorn farts.

[Zing 2]

I've long admired Garrison Keillor's writing, and speaking, ... he's a gifted wit who can turn a phrase.
Anyone ever hear his comments before and after he moved to Sweden? I'm fairly certain he's happy to be back here where he can make his political commentary, thereby earning income ... and getting to keep the majority of it too.

Zing Lurks