Egg Donation

[adventurechick 0]

Would it be ethically wrong for me to donate my eggs? I told my mom I wanted to donate my eggs and she doesn't want me to because there could be "little gails running around." What do you all thnk??

PMS #449 TPM #80 Muff Brother #3860
SCR #14705 Dirty Sanchez #233

[Nightingale 0]

No, I don't think it's ethically wrong at all (unless you have issues with invitro in general, which it doesn't sound like you do).

I was adopted, so, from my perspective, genetics aren't important at all. What makes a family is love and caring, not DNA. Doesn't matter if there's kids out there with your DNA, as long as they're happy, well cared for and wanted. If someone is going through all the trauma of fertility treatment, usually, that kid is REALLY wanted.

My friend donated her eggs to her aunt, and her aunt had a beautiful little girl. My friend's take on it was "biologically, I guess she's my daughter, but really, she's only my cousin."

I guess the way to look at is that a child conceived with your eggs is a child you helped another woman to have, not your child that another woman carried. It's her child; you're just providing a bit of valuable assistance.

[Andy9o8 2]

Guys donate their sperm all the time.
I say let 'er rip.

[rehmwa 2]

You can always go to the grocery store and buy another dozen later. This way the needy get to have a breakfast.

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Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[billvon 3,111]

Amy got offered something like $50K for her eggs when she was in medical school. They wanted a very specific phenotype (tall, athletic, SAT scores over XXX) and wanted her to go on a fertilty-drug regimen. She ended up not doing it.

[rehmwa 2]

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SAT scores over XXX

You've made it big when they stop using numbers and start using X's for your SAT score.........Smart and sexual.

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Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Shotgun 1]

I don't think that it's ethically wrong, but I also don't think that I would want to donate my own eggs.

Not that anyone would want mine anyway... I think that mental stability is one of the basic traits that they look for in donors.

[Amazon 7]

Go do it... It might just help someone out that wants a child and can't..

[narcimund 0]

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Would it be ethically wrong for me to donate my eggs?

Are you looking for a discussion on ethics or warm, fuzzy encouragement to go do a nice thing?

If it's ethics you're looking for, you might want to give a sample of how anyone might consider it wrong. "My mom doesn't like the idea of little Gails" isn't an ethical problem. In fact, I can't think of one at all.

Of course I'm sure the right-wing religious freaks will come up with some argument for why you shouldn't do something harmless and private. They always do.

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[adventurechick 0]

Well... my mom is a right wing religious freak... and I'm not so much... I was just wanting some insight.

PMS #449 TPM #80 Muff Brother #3860
SCR #14705 Dirty Sanchez #233

[billvon 3,111]

>I was just wanting some insight.

I don't see it as any different than a sperm donation. The child won't be you, it will just share some of your DNA - probably less than your sisters/brothers share.

In terms of morals, I think there is great value in helping parents who want children to be able to have them. We should support people who want to be parents so badly that they are willing to spend a lot of time and money to make it happen (IMO anyway.)

[Shotgun 1]

Out of curiosity (not because I would want to donate), I just had a look at an egg donor website, and I thought that this was interesting:

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Profiles are approximately 10 pages in length and include the following information to assist you in your search:
- Three generations of the donor's family medical and genetic history
- Family mental health history
- Her academic achievements
- Her SAT/ACT scores (whenever possible)
- Intense personal interviews regarding her personal and family life, personality, and the qualities of her character
- Additional photos of her and her family

I'm not too concerned about supporting people who seem to want a child so badly, yet they'll want to choose them based on things like SAT scores and attractiveness. (It also mentioned on their website that the donors need to be attractive.)

There are lots of non-perfect children in the world that need good homes (for people who really want a child so badly).

But I'm sure that there are plenty of people who are happy to receive eggs from any healthy donor, and I think that health is one of the few reasonable traits that they should expect if they really want a child. If those other things are overly important to them, then perhaps they don't really need to be parents anyway.

Edited to say: If I did have any desire to be an egg donor, I would most defintely want to screen the people who would be receiving them to make sure that they were worthy.

[skykittykat 0]

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Go do it... It might just help someone out that wants a child and can't..

Why don't these people adopt?

Why create a new life when there are many other babies/children out there that need good, loving, stable homes?

Liz

[Nightingale 0]

I was adopted, and I've heard about everything my parents had to go through to get my brother and me. Adoption can be a major legal can of worms and hoops that people don't want to jump through. They have to go through several home visits, depending on the agency, sometimes wait years for a child, and sometimes even have the heartbreak of having a child placed with them and then reclaimed by the birth parents, especially in cases where the birth mother did not inform the father that he had fathered a child. I think many people remember the case of Jessica DeBoer/Anna Schmidt.

Couples struggling with fertility issues have many stressful problems already, and I completely understand not wanting to risk adoption. Personally, I'd probably adopt, but as an adoptee, my perspective is different than that of many prospective parents. There are many complex legal and emotional issues involved, and in some cases, the cost of lawyers can be higher than the cost of invitro, depending on the couple's individual circumstances.

Also, many couples try invirto first, and if that doesn't work (and many times it doesn't), they then consider adoption. The choice of whether to have a child, and how to have that child, is a very personal one that each individual couple must make for themselves.

[rehmwa 2]

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Go do it... It might just help someone out that wants a child and can't..

Why don't these people adopt?

Why create a new life when there are many other babies/children out there that need good, loving, stable homes?

You are SUCH a right-wing religious freak. What a terrible position. Why come up with these empty hatefilled arguments when it's all about her right to do something harmless and private.

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Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[brierebecca 0]

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Amy got offered something like $50K for her eggs when she was in medical school.

Yep, I got offered 25K for mine in undergrad. They wanted a small, blue eyed girl with a certain SAT score and GPA. They also had specific requirements for family illness history. This was before I was skydiving, so I turned it down. If I had been offered the same right before AFF or when I was buying my first rig, I would have taken them up on it. I'm still thinking about it to pay off some student loans.

Nightingale, I agree with you. It's not your DNA that determines your parents.

Brie

"Ive seen you hump air, hump the floor of the plane, and hump legs. You now have a new nickname: "Black Humper of Death"--yardhippie

[narcimund 0]

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You are SUCH a right-wing religious freak. What a terrible position. Why come up with these empty hatefilled arguments when it's all about her right to do something harmless and private.

You are outrageously good at twisting my words. I almost admire that skill in an abstract way.

I said the right-wing religious freaks will argue that she SHOULDN'T do this. That they'll turn it into a moralistic, prohibitive position.

On the other hand, Skykittykat questioned why she'd BOTHER. Your connecting her innocent, reasonable questions with my strong words against a dictatorial, moralistic group is good social engineering and might turn a casual reader against me personally, but has nothing to do with what I said.

Again, it's nice of you to put words in my mouth. I really really appreciate that.

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[kallend 2,147]

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Would it be ethically wrong for me to donate my eggs? I told my mom I wanted to donate my eggs and she doesn't want me to because there could be "little gails running around." What do you all thnk??

My ex-wife was a "Gail". DON'T DO IT!

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The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[skykittykat 0]

Wow...

Thanks, I was just about to reply to rehmwa to question where his justification of me being a right-wing, religious freak, etc, etc comment came from!!!

By the way, for the record, my question was intended to get intellligent answers and views and was not directed to the original poster over what she should or should not do.

And, I am not right-wing or any wing for that matter and certainly am not religious, although I respect people's views on that matter.

Liz

[Nightingale 0]

Your question seemed like you were just curious about why someone would go through IVF and egg donation when there are quite a few kids waiting to be adopted.

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[rehmwa 2]

Hi - you guys are pretty serious know that. Don't you?

I'll try to add more emoticons to keep it on track

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Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[karenmeal 0]

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Well... my mom is a right wing religious freak... and I'm not so much... I was just wanting some insight.

This is easy..

Just tell your mom that you had an abortion a few years back and now you're just trying to make it right.


Or since most right-wingers are pro-life but tend to not be as vocal about the need for people to consider adoption, just tell her you're following in her footsteps of helping people to ignore the children waiting to be adopted.

Or you could just explain to your mom that it is in fact a loving gesture to do something like this for people who desperately want a child.

Does that help?

-Karen

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[rehmwa 2]

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Just tell your mom that you had an abortion a few years back and now you're just trying to make it right.

Karenmeal posting a fantastic zinger to a mediocre thread? - PRICELESS


(when I got my lasik done a while back we were walking into the clinic and an abortion protester was outside with her 'posters' - you know those posters, they won't change anybody's mind, but only reinforces those already on her side. Both sides tend to preach to the choir rather than speak to the opposition, but I digress...... Anyway, she asked me if I knew they did abortions in that clinic. I said "no, what's your position? are you for it or against it?" We were all the way to the entrance before she was physically able to answer me...)

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Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[likearock 2]

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You are SUCH a right-wing religious freak. What a terrible position. Why come up with these empty hatefilled arguments when it's all about her right to do something harmless and private.

You are outrageously good at twisting my words. I almost admire that skill in an abstract way.

I said the right-wing religious freaks will argue that she SHOULDN'T do this. That they'll turn it into a moralistic, prohibitive position.

On the other hand, Skykittykat questioned why she'd BOTHER. Your connecting her innocent, reasonable questions with my strong words against a dictatorial, moralistic group is good social engineering and might turn a casual reader against me personally, but has nothing to do with what I said.

Again, it's nice of you to put words in my mouth. I really really appreciate that.

That's the danger of making a preemptive strike, I'd say.

[Lucky... 0]

OH, I thought this was an Easter thread!!!