another good blonde joke

[sfzombie13 324]

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.
"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

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Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes

[billvon 3,120]

>Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty,
>and the horse produces muffins of dried poop.

Not really a tough question. Deer are four-chamber ruminants; they are very efficient in digesting cellulose, which is what you'd expect from a wild animal in a competitive food environment. The byproducts are almost completely broken down, and most of the water is reabsorbed, because their environment requires it. Thus little hard pellets that look like - well, poo, but nothing like grass.

Cows are similar, but are now raised in plentiful food environments. Thus they no longer have a need to reabsorb every little bit of food or reabsorb every bit of water. So the careful balance of microorganisms in their gut has started to vary a bit; they don't care because they get so much food and water. One result of this is poorer reabsorption of water. So their poo goes splat; it's full of water.

Horses have simple one-chamber stomachs*, so they are not very efficient digesters of food. Thus their poo looks a lot like what they ate (mushed up grass.) The cellulose in the grass has not been broken down very much, since their single stomach cannot contain the wide variety of flora that's present in a deer's multi chambered stomachs. Again, they get away with it primarily because they've been domesticated. (Wild horses are typically smaller to reduce food requirements, and have to range far to be able to get enough food for their more inefficient systems.)

BTW rabbits aren't as efficient digesters, but since they are wild animals they had to solve that problem somehow. So they eat their own scat to give it a 'second pass' if you will.

Now, of course, if I tried this in a plane, the woman would think a) I'm strange or would b) start lecturing me about creationism.

* = they do have a second chamber after their small intestine called a cecum, which helps them digest grass. But it's still not as efficient as a true ruminant.

[Lindsey 0]

That proves it. You're not blonde.

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[billvon 3,120]

I should also add that most domesticated cows are fed antibiotics pretty regularly. These can change the intestinal flora (after all, the flora are bacteria too) and promote looser feces.

[Lindsey 0]

Unfortunately they're also often fed antifungals

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[billvon 3,120]

> Unfortunately they're also often fed antifungals . . .

Which, ironically, prevent the fungal growth that can be caused by overuse of antibiotics.

(Now, see, if you and I were on a plane, we'd get along just fine - but the guy between us would kill himself.)

[Amazon 7]

This is beginning to sound like the landing area at LP...

[sfzombie13 324]

since i do know a bit about horses, i will have to make a couple of points about the statement regarding them. frist, wild horses of similar breeds are usually the same size as their domesticated counterparts. one example i can think about is the mustang of the plains, and there are a couple of breeds in the steppes of central asia.
second, the horses natural diet of grasses is the best thing to feed to domesticated horses, simply because that is what they are engineered for. the only time that any grain at all is required is when they are being worked really hard, which a lot of horses aren't. the way that they get the forage is the same in the wild as in domestic animals, that is, grazing. they eat constantly in order to get the necessary nutrients from the food, and that is evident in the way they they are designed, ie: when they are eating, the ears are higher that the grasses to hear predators, and the eyes are up out of the grasses to see.
the things they don't digest readily are non-cracked grains and oats, and some processed foodstuffs. it is also very bad for their teeth when they are deprived of the natural grasses. the teeth continually grow and the only thing that wears them off is the constant gnawing from grazing. when this no longer happens, they need to be floated, filed, at least once a year to keep healthy.
the nutrients are removed from the grasses in a very efficient manner, leaving only the by-products, celluloses. it is also almost totally dry, having used up most of the moisture.

_________________________________________
Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes

[billvon 3,120]

>wild horses of similar breeds are usually the same size as their
>domesticated counterparts.

I agree. But there are several breeds of domesticated horses that do not have wild counterparts, and they are often larger.

>the nutrients are removed from the grasses in a very efficient manner,
>leaving only the by-products, celluloses.

Well, sorta. Deer can digest some of the cellulose as well, since they have the additional flora that comes with a four-chamber ruminant stomach. Hence they are a bit more efficient than horses when it comes to digesting grass. (Termites, BTW, are more efficient still; they can get all the nutrition they need from almost pure cellulose.)

[Lindsey 0]

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> Unfortunately they're also often fed antifungals . . .

Which, ironically, prevent the fungal growth that can be caused by overuse of antibiotics.

Now there really IS some irony there....

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[speedy 0]

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I should also add that most domesticated cows are fed antibiotics pretty regularly. These can change the intestinal flora (after all, the flora are bacteria too) and promote looser feces.

So effectively you are saying that all domesticated cows have the runs?

How awful for the poor cow.

Dave

Fallschirmsport Marl

[MrBounce 0]

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billvon is a duck

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obviously a very well educated duck who spent wayyyy too much time in the messy part of the farmyard - lol!!!

Gavin

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If you don't take it out and use it, its going to rust.

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[kallend 2,151]

So - about nuclear power.....

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[mr2mk1g 10]

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Now, of course, if I tried this in a plane, the woman would think a) I'm strange or would b) start lecturing me about creationism.

naaaa - you should have just finished that with "now... would you like to start with fusion or fission?"

[billvon 3,120]

>So effectively you are saying that all domesticated cows have the runs?

Well, real runs (scours, I think they call it on farms) can kill cattle, so they treat that. Most cows just have looser than normal poo (hence cow pies.)

[SkyPsycho 0]

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Most cows just have looser than normal poo (hence cow pies.)

gave one to my buddy, put a hole in the middle of it. he had ripped the shifter boot in his pickup.......

_______________________________
HK MP5SD.........silence is golden

[Shotgun 1]

Your extensive knowledge of animal poo is turning me on.