God Proofs!

[Vallerina 2]

A funny link (it's about religion, so I figured the safest place to put it is here....)
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

My favorites:

Quote

TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) Check out the world/universe/giraffe. Isn't it complex?
(2) Only God could have made them so complex.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BEAUTY, aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Isn't that baby/sunset/flower/tree beautiful?
(2) Only God could have made them so beautiful.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.
(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS
(1) Ask Atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the Atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (III), aka PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT (II)
(1) September 11th was really, really bad.
(2) We have bad things happen to us when we're doing something bad.
(3) Therefore, September 11th was a punishment for something we did.
(4) Maybe it was being arrogant?
(5) Yeah, that's it!
(6) God let September 11th happen to teach America humility.
(7) Therefore, God exists.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[masterblaster72 0]

Enough proselytizing here!!

Be humble, ask questions, listen, learn, follow the golden rule, talk when necessary, and know when to shut the fuck up.

[Everon 0]

[Samurai136 0]

My favorite is:

I believe in God because the Bible tells me so.

It's flawless reasoning. If you have a manifesto that proclaims your existence to others that proves you exist. Natch.


I'm still working on my Manifesto.

Ken

"Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian
Ken

[kallend 2,146]

Quote

My favorite is:

I believe in God because the Bible tells me so.

It's flawless reasoning. If you have a manifesto that proclaims your existence to others that proves you exist. Natch.


I'm still working on my Manifesto.

Ken

René Descartes walked into a bar. The barman asked him if he wanted a beer. He replied "I think not" ....

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[billvon 3,111]

>He replied "I think not" ....
...
. . . and disappeared?

[kallend 2,146]

Quote

>He replied "I think not" ....
...
. . . and disappeared?

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[jakee 1,594]

Wow. You set em up and Bill knocks em down.

Do you want to have an ideagasm?

[nathaniel 0]

Quote

I'm still working on my Manifesto.

I assume you've not yet been touched by His noodly appendage

My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski?

[Tink1717 2]

ARGUMENT FROM ORGASM:
She screamed "Oh god, I'm cumming, oh god, oh god..."
Therefore: god exists.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[StreetScooby 5]

Quote

...asked him if he wanted a beer.

The fact that beer exists is proof enough there is a God. I mean seriously, it can't be more self evident. What further proof do you need?

Even more, the fact that beer flows further demonstrates that God is a verb.

We are all engines of karma

[chuteless 1]

What a silly list of blasphemy!!!!


.

[mr2mk1g 10]

Quote

As I live, saith the lord, EVERY knee shall bow to me, and EVERY tongue shall confess to God (Romans 14:11)....even those of disbelieving skydivers.

Does that mean that since not every knee bows to Him that Niche was right?

[jakee 1,594]

Nietzsche, actually, but good point.

(I had to look it up)

(He must have had a really hard time when he was younger, all the other kids would be moving on to reading and stuff and he'd still be trying to spell his own name)

Do you want to have an ideagasm?

[pajarito 0]

Simply another attempt to discredit using simplistic drabble derived from misunderstanding or unwillingness to try and understand.

[StreetScooby 5]

A teacher asked her class one day, which part of your body enters heaven first?

Little Suzie raises her hand and answers: your hands. You pray with your hands clasped in front of you, and that's what God grabs when he takes you to heaven.

The teacher replies - Very good Suzie.

Little Johnnie raises his hand and answers: your feet. The other day, I walked by my parents room and my mom had her legs straight up in the air, and she was screaming - "Oh god, I'm cumming, oh god, oh god...". If Dad hadn't been laying on top of her, we would have lost her.

The teacher fainted.

We are all engines of karma

[chuteless 1]

More disgusting blasphemy....trying to be funny and not succeeding.

Bill Cole

.

[StreetScooby 5]

Clearly we're different people. For starters, your Jewish (and Canadian?), and I'm not.

We are all engines of karma

[banjobill 0]

Quote

More disgusting blasphemy....trying to be funny and not succeeding.

Bill Cole

.

I disagree. That was very funny.

B.

....with a capital P and that rhymes with T and that spells TROUBLE!!!

[billvon 3,111]

>Simply another attempt to discredit using simplistic drabble derived
>from misunderstanding or unwillingness to try and understand.

I thought it was pretty funny.

[chuteless 1]

As far as serving the Lord goes, I claim to be a Canadian fundamentalist Baptist, and a servant of God.

Bill Cole

[chuteless 1]

Billvon;;; you thinking it was funny, I can believe...but it doesnt make it funny. It is simply rude blasphemy no matter how one looks at it.

Bill Cole

[StreetScooby 5]

Quote

I claim to be a Canadian fundamentalist Baptist...

Now, I understand. Doesn't make you a bad person.

We are all engines of karma

[IanHarrop 42]

I think you're out voted - I think it was funny too!

"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy

[billvon 3,111]

>It is simply rude blasphemy no matter how one looks at it.

It is rude blasphemy depending on WHO looks at it. A Bush supporter might take as much umbrage as you if someone posted a Bush joke.