miked10270 0 #1 February 17, 2005 Well, here we go. It's looking like there's going to be an election in the UK (that's GREAT BRITAIN to you snivelling former colonials) in the near future. So... Here's an opportunity for Foreigners (& particularly Americans) to comment on same. Look on it as revenge for Your Presidential elections. Unlike The US, there's only a few weeks formal notice of an election which I'm guessing WON'T be enopugh time for Y'all (what with having to find out where Great Britain is & all)... So we'll start early! In the Red Corner, we have The Right Honourable Antony Wedgewood Blair, Labour Party member for Sedgefield, where he is known as "Phoney Tony". He is campaigning on a manifesto written on the back of a credit card which basically says: "I've been Prime Minister for 8 years & look what I've done. Trust me! In the Blue Corner, we have The Right Honourable Michael Howard, Conservative Party member for Transylvania East. He is campaigning on a manifesto of: "We'll give you more money and better hospitals for which we'll charge you money!" Regrettably, last time his party was in power they buggered the hospitals with their policies. It also didn't help that when Michael Howard recently visited a hospital he spoke to one crumbly for the benefit of the media before handing over to his wife while he broke into the Blood-Bank shouting; "Where do you keep the warm stuff!?" In the centre, rather like a chain-smoker in No-Mans-Land, we have The Right Honourable Charles Kennedy, Liberal Party Member in The Nearest Bar. He is campaigning on a manifesto of: "The other parties are always wrong! Mine's a LARGE Whisky & Red Wine with a Guinness Chaser!" I'm sure that The Brits will confine themselves to comments like: "This is OUR Election so keep out!" But I'm sure that we will value the opinions voiced by our American Cousins. Mike. Disclaimer: Some, all, or less of the political parties may have other Election-Promises (l:Bribes), but we can porbably safely ignore them just like the winning party does. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #2 February 17, 2005 King Alex for commissar of Scotland, thats what I say! Thon English namby pambys , pah, look at the choice, Blair...every day he is either fibbing or saying sorry for being caught fibbing. Howard, feck, I'd rather chew my hand off than let it put an X against a Tory name. Insipid, watered down liberals...never get anything done, too busy trying to keep everyone happy and failing. They just can't grasp the concept of pleasing some of the people some of the time, but not all the people all the time. Green party, voting for them would be a waste of paper, think of the trees! King Alex, man, the choice is clear. One thing is for sure, it will be a much more civilised and civil affair than the other election we saw discussed here recently.-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #3 February 17, 2005 It's a shame the Monster Raving Loony Party is no more – it really is. Labour appear to run things by stealing Tory policies and doing them better than Torys could ever possibly do... this kinda leaves Michael Howard out on a limb because whatever good idea he comes up with Tony simply says, "ah, we’ve been planning that for ages, honest" and then goes on to announce it as Labour’s idea to the papers and all the tabloids adoringly lap it up. Howard is left to go home to cry that his great idea was just stolen. Overall Labour’s underhandedness just keeps on making the torys look like a bunch of buffoons... and at the end of the day I have to admit Labour aren’t screwing everything up. Still won’t vote for them though... probably. Then you have Charles, who seems like the guy you’d most like to hang out with at the bar. His campaign appears to be "hahaha – look at all those idiot politicians, you don’t want to vote for them, you want to vote for your mate... lets go down the pub together, mate". After them you’re left with the also-ran's... the KKK, er, I mean UKIP and their demonic spin off party led by that inexorable twit Kilroy, who will be forced to kick himself out of the country if he uses any more fake tan. And the Greens... who as Nac says are primarily there to waste paper. Now I am aware of a precedent involving a dead man running for office... sadly I think Screaming Lord Such will be out of luck in the end though as I’m pretty sure some bright spark made up a rule against it after the first attempt. Pity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #4 February 17, 2005 QuoteKing Alex for commissar of Scotland, thats what I say! King Alex, man, the choice is clear. No offence mate, but "The Scottish Map & Scissors Party" will NOT form the next Westminster Government! While it would trigger a boom in the construction industry, the cost of lengthening The River Tweed by 70 miles to the South-East AND simultaneously widening it by 10 miles will be prohibitive![P] The choice is clear & simple. You vote for The Fraud, The Lifeblood-Sucker, or The Alcoholic! Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #5 February 17, 2005 When put like that it reminds me of the South Park episode where they had to vote between a turd sandwich or a douche bag... Not like that was a policital commentary or anything. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #6 February 17, 2005 QuoteWell, here we go. It's looking like there's going to be an election in the UK (that's GREAT BRITAIN to you snivelling former colonials) in the near future. Their is nothing great about GB Maybe their was once but it lost it's greatness years ago Long live GREAT ENGLAND Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites rehmwa 2 #7 February 17, 2005 See? the brits know how to make fun of all their candidates. We have too many people here in the US who just plain take politics WAY to seriously. Now let's see, Great Britain. Hmmm, where's my Map? - isn't that somewhere inside of Montana? ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites miked10270 0 #8 February 17, 2005 QuoteTheir is nothing great about GB Maybe their was once but it lost it's greatness years ago Long live GREAT ENGLAND Hmmm... Let's see. I'll confine myself to suggesting that your domicile is still a bit sore about the last time they had a "Round Great BRITAIN" sailing race. I'm sure that MR2Mk1G will make some pithy and bitter comment about Patriotic English Ex-Pats living in spain - and all the defence fees he loses when they emigrate! And I suggest you invest in a suitable reinforced concrete structure for when an enraged NacMac heaves over the horizon wiff the Claymore a swingin' and the Kilt a' flashin' (disturbingly) high over his manly thighs!!! At least whichever government we get won't start out by trying to impersonate The French! Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites nacmacfeegle 0 #9 February 17, 2005 "And I suggest you invest in a suitable reinforced concrete structure for when an enraged NacMac heaves over the horizon wiff the Claymore a swingin' and the Kilt a' flashin' (disturbingly) high over his manly thighs!!! " My and my loon will sort them out......-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites markd_nscr986 0 #10 February 17, 2005 Nice sporran,LaddieMarc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,589 #11 February 17, 2005 Oh my. I was going to say something smart-alecky about you guys not needing an election because you have a queen, or maybe about of course Blair should be elected because he holds America's interests first, but the pictures of mini-Nac are too adorable. Y'all have fun with your elections now, y'hear? Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zep 0 #12 February 17, 2005 Nice pictures but not a dirk in sight, does this mean they've been banned as well Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zep 0 #13 February 17, 2005 The day the British government has the balls to hold a referendum as to wheather the people of Great Britain want to stay in the EU, an after the British, Scottish, Irish an Welsh have voted to get the hell out. 24 hours latter I'll be back in England, Untill then I'm staying in Sunny Barcelona. If I've got to be European I'm going to be European where It's Warm Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mr2mk1g 10 #14 February 17, 2005 QuoteThe day the British government has the balls to hold a referendum as to wheather the people of Great Britain want to stay in the EU You realise that's already happened right? All the way back in 1975... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zep 0 #15 February 17, 2005 QuoteQuoteThe day the British government has the balls to hold a referendum as to wheather the people of Great Britain want to stay in the EU You realise that's already happened right? All the way back in 1975... That did'nt count. It wasent really a government , it was the Labour party Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mr2mk1g 10 #16 February 17, 2005 I can't tell if you're just joking about the Labour party (all well and good ) or actually misinformed about the 1975 referendum conducted by the Government in power, which just happened to be the recently elected Labour party... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites miked10270 0 #17 February 17, 2005 QuoteNice pictures but not a dirk in sight, does this mean they've been banned as well Nahhh... You just don't notice them in the pics - or the Claymores. It isn't immediately obvious in the pic, but I can assure you that the child is actually about 6' tall! (This is absolutely true) Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites christelsabine 1 #18 February 17, 2005 Oooh, your system is too complicate - just let Tony go on and finish what he started with his mate Georgie. King, Alex will not be available. BBL needs him that much. And the Claymores: What should they do except running around hunting the Highlander in Scotland with the football? My proposal: Give the coming King Harry all power he needs. GreatBritain will be one big party and happy all day. Charles & Camilla are talking to their vegetables in the garden. Need no more power. William, that good looking guy, still will be stuck somewhere in Chile to build a suspension bridge. TonyBlair will do it in May. dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites christelsabine 1 #19 February 17, 2005 Quote"And I suggest you invest in a suitable reinforced concrete structure for when an enraged NacMac heaves over the horizon wiff the Claymore a swingin' and the Kilt a' flashin' (disturbingly) high over his manly thighs!!! " My and my loon will sort them out...... HolyMoly, that little guy is absolutely pretty and neat That big "strong" one beside him must be his body guard, right? Beautiful dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,589 #20 February 17, 2005 One question Nacmac -- do boy babies wear kilts before they're toilet trained? If so, well, doesn't it get messy, or are they allowed diapers/nappies? Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites markd_nscr986 0 #21 February 17, 2005 For those of us unenlightened about the Brit political scene Could you fill in the blanks please US************* UK equivalent? Democrat Republican Libertarian Communist SocialistMarc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shropshire 0 #22 February 17, 2005 QuoteTonyBlair will do it in May. Bugger..... where's Guy Fawks when you need him (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites christelsabine 1 #23 February 17, 2005 QuoteQuoteTonyBlair will do it in May. Bugger..... where's Guy Fawks when you need him Heya, still calling back the ghosts of ancient times? Tell me who's your favourite instead of mourning around The Brits and their traditions .... dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites miked10270 0 #24 February 17, 2005 OK... Republican <=> Conservatives (Tory) - Michael Howard. Democrat ------------- } <=> Labour - Tony Blair. Socialist ????????? <=> Liberal - Charles "Mine's a large one" Kennedy. Communist <=> Unelectable & always have been! Libertarian <=> Lend out books in libraries! Lies <=> Election Manifesto - What they promise if they win. NONE ARE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! We usually go with the one who comes up with the funniest lies. After over 1,000 yearts we've found that this is the only RELIABLE way to run a Nation / Empire. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shropshire 0 #25 February 17, 2005 QuoteTell me who's your favourite instead of mourning around .... A hash but fair question. It's also a tricky question, beacause, in the main, the policies of the 2 main parties are so close in real terms that you cann't put a fag paper between them. The Labour party used to stand for something in this country .. a party of the peeps, to the Left of centre but now our Tone has helped to move then somewhat further Right than Gingus Khan! (I'm almost sure that when Tone looks in a mirror, he sees a reflection of Maggie T!). The Labour party has helped to sell off Publicly owned companies (the last thing that Old Labour would have been involved in!). They have also lost touch with the people (a glib sentence, but does appear to have been bourne out over recent years of neglect!). The Torries, on the other hand have never, in my life time, been in touch with the people and almost exclusively support and follow big business and the rich. Yet I'm not fully convinced that the Lib Dems are a fully credible alternative (yet) but that's probably be where I'll be putting my cross again, the more people like me that do, the more credible they will become . (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. 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rehmwa 2 #7 February 17, 2005 See? the brits know how to make fun of all their candidates. We have too many people here in the US who just plain take politics WAY to seriously. Now let's see, Great Britain. Hmmm, where's my Map? - isn't that somewhere inside of Montana? ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #8 February 17, 2005 QuoteTheir is nothing great about GB Maybe their was once but it lost it's greatness years ago Long live GREAT ENGLAND Hmmm... Let's see. I'll confine myself to suggesting that your domicile is still a bit sore about the last time they had a "Round Great BRITAIN" sailing race. I'm sure that MR2Mk1G will make some pithy and bitter comment about Patriotic English Ex-Pats living in spain - and all the defence fees he loses when they emigrate! And I suggest you invest in a suitable reinforced concrete structure for when an enraged NacMac heaves over the horizon wiff the Claymore a swingin' and the Kilt a' flashin' (disturbingly) high over his manly thighs!!! At least whichever government we get won't start out by trying to impersonate The French! Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #9 February 17, 2005 "And I suggest you invest in a suitable reinforced concrete structure for when an enraged NacMac heaves over the horizon wiff the Claymore a swingin' and the Kilt a' flashin' (disturbingly) high over his manly thighs!!! " My and my loon will sort them out......-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markd_nscr986 0 #10 February 17, 2005 Nice sporran,LaddieMarc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #11 February 17, 2005 Oh my. I was going to say something smart-alecky about you guys not needing an election because you have a queen, or maybe about of course Blair should be elected because he holds America's interests first, but the pictures of mini-Nac are too adorable. Y'all have fun with your elections now, y'hear? Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #12 February 17, 2005 Nice pictures but not a dirk in sight, does this mean they've been banned as well Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #13 February 17, 2005 The day the British government has the balls to hold a referendum as to wheather the people of Great Britain want to stay in the EU, an after the British, Scottish, Irish an Welsh have voted to get the hell out. 24 hours latter I'll be back in England, Untill then I'm staying in Sunny Barcelona. If I've got to be European I'm going to be European where It's Warm Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #14 February 17, 2005 QuoteThe day the British government has the balls to hold a referendum as to wheather the people of Great Britain want to stay in the EU You realise that's already happened right? All the way back in 1975... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #15 February 17, 2005 QuoteQuoteThe day the British government has the balls to hold a referendum as to wheather the people of Great Britain want to stay in the EU You realise that's already happened right? All the way back in 1975... That did'nt count. It wasent really a government , it was the Labour party Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #16 February 17, 2005 I can't tell if you're just joking about the Labour party (all well and good ) or actually misinformed about the 1975 referendum conducted by the Government in power, which just happened to be the recently elected Labour party... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #17 February 17, 2005 QuoteNice pictures but not a dirk in sight, does this mean they've been banned as well Nahhh... You just don't notice them in the pics - or the Claymores. It isn't immediately obvious in the pic, but I can assure you that the child is actually about 6' tall! (This is absolutely true) Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christelsabine 1 #18 February 17, 2005 Oooh, your system is too complicate - just let Tony go on and finish what he started with his mate Georgie. King, Alex will not be available. BBL needs him that much. And the Claymores: What should they do except running around hunting the Highlander in Scotland with the football? My proposal: Give the coming King Harry all power he needs. GreatBritain will be one big party and happy all day. Charles & Camilla are talking to their vegetables in the garden. Need no more power. William, that good looking guy, still will be stuck somewhere in Chile to build a suspension bridge. TonyBlair will do it in May. dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christelsabine 1 #19 February 17, 2005 Quote"And I suggest you invest in a suitable reinforced concrete structure for when an enraged NacMac heaves over the horizon wiff the Claymore a swingin' and the Kilt a' flashin' (disturbingly) high over his manly thighs!!! " My and my loon will sort them out...... HolyMoly, that little guy is absolutely pretty and neat That big "strong" one beside him must be his body guard, right? Beautiful dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #20 February 17, 2005 One question Nacmac -- do boy babies wear kilts before they're toilet trained? If so, well, doesn't it get messy, or are they allowed diapers/nappies? Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markd_nscr986 0 #21 February 17, 2005 For those of us unenlightened about the Brit political scene Could you fill in the blanks please US************* UK equivalent? Democrat Republican Libertarian Communist SocialistMarc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #22 February 17, 2005 QuoteTonyBlair will do it in May. Bugger..... where's Guy Fawks when you need him (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christelsabine 1 #23 February 17, 2005 QuoteQuoteTonyBlair will do it in May. Bugger..... where's Guy Fawks when you need him Heya, still calling back the ghosts of ancient times? Tell me who's your favourite instead of mourning around The Brits and their traditions .... dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #24 February 17, 2005 OK... Republican <=> Conservatives (Tory) - Michael Howard. Democrat ------------- } <=> Labour - Tony Blair. Socialist ????????? <=> Liberal - Charles "Mine's a large one" Kennedy. Communist <=> Unelectable & always have been! Libertarian <=> Lend out books in libraries! Lies <=> Election Manifesto - What they promise if they win. NONE ARE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! We usually go with the one who comes up with the funniest lies. After over 1,000 yearts we've found that this is the only RELIABLE way to run a Nation / Empire. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #25 February 17, 2005 QuoteTell me who's your favourite instead of mourning around .... A hash but fair question. It's also a tricky question, beacause, in the main, the policies of the 2 main parties are so close in real terms that you cann't put a fag paper between them. The Labour party used to stand for something in this country .. a party of the peeps, to the Left of centre but now our Tone has helped to move then somewhat further Right than Gingus Khan! (I'm almost sure that when Tone looks in a mirror, he sees a reflection of Maggie T!). The Labour party has helped to sell off Publicly owned companies (the last thing that Old Labour would have been involved in!). They have also lost touch with the people (a glib sentence, but does appear to have been bourne out over recent years of neglect!). The Torries, on the other hand have never, in my life time, been in touch with the people and almost exclusively support and follow big business and the rich. Yet I'm not fully convinced that the Lib Dems are a fully credible alternative (yet) but that's probably be where I'll be putting my cross again, the more people like me that do, the more credible they will become . (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
